This week, in honor of Father’s Day, Jimmy Fallon asked Twitter to post their favorite #DadQuotes. It’s become clear to us that our fathers are not simply fathers.
When I was in third grade, we were moving to a new house and I was devastated. I was crying so hard and I asked my dad why we had to move. He responded with, “Because you always leave your towels on the floor.” I’ve hung up my towels every day since. #DadQuotes
— Bethany Loggins (@bethany_loggins) June 12, 2019
(When my dad got his first smart phone) “Hey Heather, when does the App Store open?” #DadQuotes
— Heather Rou (@HeatherRou) June 12, 2019
one time my siblings and I were minding our own business in the kitchen and my dad looks at us and laughs, when asked he replies “everyone in this room is here because I got laid” #DadQuotes
— useless ranting (@popessidegame) June 12, 2019
— Justin Bush (@Justin_BQuinnic) June 12, 2019
#DadQuotes Every time my Dad passes gas loudly he exclaims, “Still works!”
— Heather McIntyre (@acroninja) June 12, 2019
At dinner one night my brothers phone buzzed. He got an alert saying that George Michael had died. Without missing a beat my dad says “Wham..Just like that….” #DadQuotes
— Craig McNabb (@craig_mcnabb) June 12, 2019
Fans of the classics.
EVERY time we drove by a cemetery with a fence around it my dad would ask “Do you know why there is a fence around that cemetery?? People are dying to get in there” #DadQuotes
— James McNeely (@james_on18) June 12, 2019
Every time we’re at the beach and one of us goes into the water my dad will without fail ask “How’s the water? Wet?” #dadquotes
— Eleanor Kennedy (@eleanorkennedy) June 12, 2019
My dad accidentally used dry shampoo as deodorant n said ‘well at least my armpit hair will look flawless’ #DadQuotes
— Jordan (@ughimtiredd) June 12, 2019
This morning my dad said “all inclusive” when trying to tell me we had everything bagels. From now on I shall refer to and only order “all inclusive bagels”. #dadquotes
— Alexandra Veintidós (@alex_andra22) June 11, 2019
Makers of fair points.
#DadQuotes When I told my Dad he should set up an email account, he said, “Your mother already has one. Why do we need two emails in one house?”
— Arlena Witt (@wittamina) June 12, 2019
Everytime my mom made food but my dad didn’t want to say it was bad, when she asked he’d say “It’s like a circus in my mouth #DadQuotes
— Tim Morrison (@tmorrison519) June 12, 2019
When people at stores or restaurants ask my Dad “how are you?” Or “how’s it going?” His response is always “teetering on the brink of magnificence” ALL. THE. TIME. #DadQuotes
— Niki Rydell (@plhsecon) June 12, 2019
“Even a blind squirrel finds an acorn every now and then” is what he’d tell me if I ever won a game against him. #DadQuotes
— ManofSteele520 (@ChrisSteele8) June 12, 2019
And, eventually, granddads.
My grandfather, sitting in the post op room after having glaucoma surgery with me, a nurse and my grandmother. I see his zipper is down and tell him that it’s down. At 80 years old, doesn’t miss a beat, and just replies with “What can’t get up, can’t get out” #dadquotes
— Joseph Meuse (@JoeMeuse81) June 12, 2019