It’s a new kind of American Revolution

Just when you think America is going down the tubes with political division, rampant misogyny, neo-Nazi revivalism, and Daniel Day-Lewis leaving Hollywood – to, what, design clothes? Come on, bro! – some piece of news comes along and we TOTALLY REDEEM OURSELVES!

I am speaking, of course, of the news that Budweiser has fallen to America’s fourth-best selling beer, according to the trade magazine Beer Marketer’s Insights. Congratulations, fellow Americans, your taste in beer has slightly improved!

via GIPHY

Let’s not get out the confetti yet, as the beer that deposed Bud is your college girlfriend’s go-to, Miller Lite, and the top two remain Coors Light, which knocked Bud from the runner-up spot in 2011, and Bud Light, which took over as America’s #1 selling tan-colored-water-based alcoholic beverage in 2001.

The bright side is that all four of those beers have seen their sales suffer, and even Bud Light, the current king of beers, saw their barrel shipments drop by 2 million! According to CNN, that’s the biggest drop Beer Marketer’s Insights has seen since they’ve been tracking sales since the mid-70s.

Those beers don’t exactly top the list when it comes to quality, and it’s a shame that most of America still relies on such mass-market swill when the past decade’s craft beer explosion has brought so many superior options to the market. There’s probably a solid local brewery not too far from where you are right now! (Make sure you walk.)

via GIPHY

Huge brewers like Anheiser-Busch have suffered “injury by a thousand cuts, according to Duane Stanford, editor of Beverage Digest, as “consumers have been bitten by the flavor bug.” He makes that sound so sad, like he’s angry that people have realized they prefer beer that tastes better.

The proliferation and superior flavor of smaller batch beers is a large part of the reasons the major breweries are losing sales, even as they snap up all the mom-and-pop brewers they can. But familiar names like the aforementioned top four, and Corona, Michelob Ultra, Modela Especial, and Natural Light – which round out the top eight sellers – still dominate.

But thanks to decreasing sales leading to news like this, maybe not for long. Cheers to that!

via GIPHY

Awaiting the arrival of your baby should be a precious and celebratory time. So with all due respect, what the heck is going on? Listen, I may be the Grinch Who Stole Gender Reveal Parties, but this is getting out of hand. There was the guy who shot himself in the worst possible place with a gender-reveal smoke bomb (???), the couple that managed to burn down thousands of acres of east LA in an attempt to reveal the gender of their unborn child (and I’m no scientist, but I’m pretty sure that means your baby’s gender is Hellboy) – it’s enough. Put down the flare guns and anything with “pyrotechnic” in its name, we deserve an indefinite time-out to think about what we’ve done. Cut into your colorful cakes, pop a balloon, but for the love of all that is flammable – please calm down.

As with every rule, there are some exceptions. Any pre-baby party should be for the parents’ enjoyment of course, since they’re the ones celebrating. But the guests shouldn’t feel like their attendance was doing someone a favor – they should feel like their time was well-spent. Well, a Florida couple recently went above and beyond to (safely and hilariously) reveal the gender of their baby.

In a video posted to Instagram by Josh Hooper, the expectant parents come together with some of their closest family and friends for the big reveal. “Sorry future Adah that you have to see this,” Josh captioned the video. Why the apology? Well, just watch the video.

 

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@mrslilyhooper We’re having a girl!!!!! Sorry future Adah that you have to see this. @livingforthedash meant well and he’s a really nice guy. #AdahKennedyHooper

A post shared by Joshua Hooper (@superhooper) on Oct 12, 2020 at 7:14am PDT

Clearly, this is no ordinary gender reveal, which is exactly what the couple wanted. Josh Hooper told The Dad, “I just really wanted to see my friend (Andy) in a diaper. I have also never been a fan of gender reveals and thought if my wife and myself were going to do one we might as well make it funny.”

The couple’s relationship is rooted in comedy, so it only makes sense that their gender reveal would follow suit. “Me and my wife Lily met at Sunday Cool Tees where we both work,” Josh explained, “And Andy (the pink man) and myself make YouTube videos for Sunday Cool.”

For this comedy-loving couple, the gender reveal was a fun excuse to make their friends and family smile. And realistically, what better time to rope your friends into something so brilliantly absurd? You can’t say no to a friend celebrating the arrival of their first child (and if you can, someone forgot to tell Andy).

“We just love to make people laugh, and we think the world needs more things to laugh at and celebrate.”

We wholeheartedly agree. And Josh, let us be the first to say, welcome to the club.

 

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not gonna lie. The diaper was ✨ comfy ✨ 📷: @parksandruck

A post shared by Andy DeNoon (@livingforthedash) on Oct 12, 2020 at 1:55pm PDT

After having kids, you’re forced to start finding new and creative ways to stash your snacks. Whether it’s a box of Sugar-O’s or a cake that literally has your name on it, food seems to disappear without a trace overnight in a house full of kids (aside from anything that even resembles a vegetable). It’s like having a rat infestation, only the rats are extremely expensive and eventually ask to borrow your car. Whether you tuck them away in a closet full of holiday decorations or shove them in a box you haphazardly label “Math Books” and stash under your bed, The Good Snacks need to be hidden for their own protection.

Recently, someone’s well-hidden stash was discovered in an unlikely place after they presumably forgot about it like a squirrel hiding their nuts for the winter. Like many libraries across the US, the Walla Walla Public Library in Washington closed in March due to the COVID pandemic. To make the best of a crumby (wait for it) situation, the library decided to do some renovations.

When removing some 50-year-old paneling in the mystery section of the library, the demolition crew stumbled upon a sticky mystery of their own. Five unopened cans of Hamm’s beer and a bag of Godzilla Heads gum (which hasn’t been manufactured since 1988) was found tucked away in a falling-apart paper bag.

The City of Walla Walla Government shared the photo on Facebook, presumably prompting one dad (maybe grandpa at this point) to yell, “oh crap!”

The caption read, “While moving the mystery collection to a more accessible place, a Facilities crew member uncovered a real-life whodunit when he removed a corner panel on some 1970s-era shelving with an open top. Along with the usual dust and dead bugs, he found five unopened cans of ‘the beer refreshing’ and some monstrously stale gum still in its vibrant packaging, along with a moldering paper bag. Someone had apparently taken a cue from ‘Treasure Island’ and stashed their booty behind the shelving, but then wasn’t able to retrieve it.”

As we all well know, beer tends to come in packs of six – so it’s entirely possible that whoever stashed their loot in this public library some 30 years ago wasn’t thinking with a completely clear head. The unexpected treasure was a blast-from-the-past for the 50-year-old library – we’re just glad that their snack of choice wasn’t yogurt.

A Guinness for the sober folks, as the first alcohol-free Guinness Irish stout hits shelves in the UK and Ireland next week. This is the first time in more than 250+ years that there will be a non-alcoholic Guinness. That news is worth toasting (with whatever your drink of choice may be).

We are going through a drinking renaissance, to be sure. We’ve seen the market for hard seltzers go totally bonkers over the last year and change, to the point where it’s hurting traditional beer by shorting the aluminum can market. We also have the continued growth of craft breweries, which change the game on the reg and allow drinkers to get more specific with their choices. We even have a dog beer now, for when you wanna relax and toss some back with your pup.

What Guinness is doing by unveiling the Guinness 0.0 (which will be available in bars in the Spring) is smart. The market for non-alcoholic beverages is also thriving currently, especially as people change how they drink. Budweiser and Pabst Blue Ribbon have both announced new non-alcoholic options in recent months as well. Overall, the sale of non-alcoholic beverages is up nearly 50 percent over last year.

The Guinness 0.0 is made through the same process with the same ingredients, and the alcohol is removed through a cold filtration. So, in theory, it should taste nearly identical to the Guinness you’ve been drinking for the past couple hundred years (look at you, old guy!).

A spokesman for the brand said they knew the taste was important and wanted people to be able to enjoy the new drink without comprising on the taste. This is the result of a years-long production process to perfect the Guinness 0.0. He said it was a historic day for the brand.

“The launch of Guinness 0.0 highlights our long-held commitment to innovation, experimentation, and bravery in brewing, harnessing the power of our brewers and our ingredients, to create an alcohol-free beer that is 100% Guinness but 0% alcohol.”

The drink clocks in at only 70 calories and reportedly, tastes pretty great, but you’ll have to wait until 2021 to determine for yourself (or just drink a few in the meantime and pretend it’s the same).

If you’ve been reading The Dad for a while, you’ve probably noticed we spend a fair amount of time talking about – and bemoaning – the constant stream of news about reboots and remakes and reinventions. Partially because that’s all Hollywood seems to make these days, but mostly because it’s annoying!

One reboot we’re totally down for, however, is the forthcoming revival of Animaniacs, the hilarious cartoon from the 90s that makes fun of pop culture just as much as we do. The first season arrives in November (with a second season slated for 2021), and here’s the official synopsis:

They’re back! The Warner brothers, Yakko and Wakko, and the Warner sister Dot, have a great time wreaking havoc and mayhem in the lives of everyone they meet. After returning to their beloved home, the Warner Bros. water tower, the siblings waste no time in causing chaos and comic confusion as they run loose through the studio, turning the world into their personal playground. Joining Yakko, Wakko and Dot, fan-favorite characters Pinky and the Brain also return to continue their quest for world domination.

Sounds like they’re going to be up to their old tricks, and based on the new trailer, maybe some new ones too. Because guess what? The Animaniacs are as fed up with Hollywood’s constant “re” stuff as we are. Even their own!

Check it out:

The leaves are changing color, the aisles of grocery stores are lined with last-minute costumes that seem intent on making your child look like one of the Village People. Bags of candy, both name-brand and generic, sit side-by-side reminding us what it truly means to live in harmony. Undeniably, Halloween is going to look a little different this year. Some towns have canceled trick-or-treating altogether, while some parents scramble to find bizarre and safe ways to deliver candy to their tiny costumed visitors. One crafty dad from Marion, Iowa was undeterred by this year’s unconventional Halloween, continuing his tradition of making the world’s most epic costumes for his kids.

Greg Dietzenbach is no stranger to creativity, especially when it comes to Halloween. He explains, “My kids challenge me every year to make a unique costume. Building a transforming sock robot for my son almost broke my brain so this year I wanted to make it a lot simpler. Due to Covid we didn’t even know if our town would have trick-or-treating this year.”

Before we move on, we need to give credit where credit’s due. To understand the full scope of this dad’s talent, take a look at the brain-busting sock robot costume Dietzenbach built for his son.

Understandably, Dietzenbach decided to simplify his kids’ costumes this year. The same amount of impressive creativity, just fewer moving parts. This year, Zoom has gone from virtually unknown (to most of us, at least) to the star of school days, work meetings, and even weddings. As a nod to Zoom’s increasing popularity and the very screen his kids see all day as they attend school remotely, Dietzenbach decided to costume-ize it.

Dietzenbach, who works for a company that builds museums and corporate environments, got busy with his office’s large-format printer. He recreated the Zoom interface, but with some Halloween-themed Easter eggs (Halloween eggs?). “Instead of ‘Share Screen’ it’s ‘Share Scream,’” Dietzenbach explained. “’End Meeting for All’ changed to ‘End Life.’”

The meeting had 666 participants, and each participant on the call was a photo of his 12-year-old daughter Ada transformed into a monster using Procreate, an iPad drawing app. As if it needed any more incredible touches, the costume has a camera that adds the candy-giver to a square of the world’s first in-person Zoom call. The end result was nothing short of extraordinary.

I made a killer Zoom Meeting costume for my daughter. #Halloween2020 pic.twitter.com/bdKbgGZcA5

— Greg Dietzenbach (@GregDietzenbach) October 21, 2020

“I’ve created several unique costumes through the years,” Dietzenbach explained.

If you’re itching to catch up (it’s well worth a scroll), all of this artistic dad’s past costumes are on his website.

“They’re all a labor of love. I make them for my daughter and son every year. I’ve become known for my homemade costumes with family and friends and people tell me they look forward to seeing them every year but I really do it for my kids.”

Though Dietzenbach goes above and beyond on his kids’ Halloween costumes, he stresses that it doesn’t take a huge gesture to show your kids how much you love them. Dietzenbach told The Dad, “I keep seeing comments on this costume where people say ‘Dad of the year award!’ and ‘Greatest Dad EVER!’. They make me feel good and put a smile on my face but it’s not a competition.”

He continued, “You don’t have to do these big crazy things to be thought of as ‘Greatest Dad EVER’ by your kid(s). It’s all the little moments I share with my kids that make them (and me) feel special. It’s just being there for them and giving them all of your love. That’s what I’m most proud of.”

The global pandemic has forced all of us to make changes in the name of health, safety, schooling, and more. It hasn’t been easy, and we’ve had to make a lot of sacrifices. But there’s one thing it has given us more of, and that’s time. Time with our kids and families, time to learn new skills, and time to kill without much of the entertainment options we might otherwise have.

One amazing dad tackled all three of those things at once. His name is Dylan, and he lives in London where he shares custody of his daughter. He had a trip to Disneyland planned, but thanks to COVID, that had to be scrapped, so Dylan found another way to give his daughter Ella an amazing memory.

“I had to cancel our holiday to Disneyland and seeing Ella work so hard on her school work with me working (I have Ella with me half the time) was good, but gutting to not be able to give her all my time, I wanted to do something special,” he told The Dad.

 

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Building one of the shops, lots of late nights and early mornings!!

A post shared by Ella’s Dad (@ellasecretstreet) on Oct 17, 2020 at 1:04pm PDT

He remembered the two of them bonding over the first Harry Potter movie, and it gave him an idea for her birthday.

“One day I was standing in part of my house and I thought ‘it’s a bit like a mini street…’ I remembered the first day I watched the first Harry Potter film with Ella and thought wow how amazing would it be to put Diagon Alley in.”

He says it so matter-of-factly – “to put Diagon Alley in,” as if that were somehow possible. Well, for this handy, dedicated dad, it was. My man did it, spending months planning and designing the alley, making sure to customize the various shop fronts for his daughter’s interests, and another month to build it, making sure to do the work when his daughter was with her mom.

Not only did Dylan recreate JK Rowling’s famous street, he hid it behind his daughter’s wardrobe, calling to mind another beloved fantasy series.

“I kept having new ideas like the wardrobe as a way in, as she likes Narnia too.”

 

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Finding a secret street in a wardrobe durning lockdown!

A post shared by Ella’s Dad (@ellasecretstreet) on Oct 17, 2020 at 9:48am PDT

“Ella’s reaction was stunned silence,” Dylan said,” and then her assertiveness kicked in and she said ‘can we keep this here forever!’ The rest of the day was spent exploring it and opening a few presents I had put in the shops. I also dressed up as Hagrid which was hilarious for us both as I had a rubbish accent and acting skills but it was fun all the same. We went as Hagrid and Ella back through the wardrobe and took her dad’s cushions for her reading nook.”

THERE’S A READING NOOK!

To recap: He spent months designing a secret Harry Potter-themed street, spent a month building it in secret, hid it behind his daughter’s wardrobe, stocked the different shops with gifts, and then he dressed in costume to explore it alongside her.

I think the Dad of the Year contest is over. We all lose.

Dylan’s handiwork has gotten a lot of attention over the past few days – both via his Instagram account and his YouTube channel, where he details the project and preps for his next one (a new toy shop just in time for Christmas) – but he didn’t do it for clicks, he did it for his daughter.

“The main inspiration for it was Ella,” he explained. “She has an amazing imagination as do most kids and it’s hard to keep up! Building it I was constantly excited when I finished something new she would discover so I’m going to keep going, adding bits and new games to play.”

He’s going to keep adding to it? Can we move in?

Follow Dylan via Ella’s Secret Street accounts on IG and YouTube, and check out the making-of video and Photos below.

Another week closer to Halloween, another bag of candy replaced after you ate the whole thing in what we call “Adult Trick-or-Treating” (standing in front of your open pantry dazed and exhausted, shoving candy down your throat without even chewing like some kind of snake). Though Halloween season already looks a lot different than previous years, one thing is certain – kids will continue to be kids, but this time, hyped up on sugar. Fortunately, Twitter parents continue documenting the best and funniest parenting moments. Whatever the season looks like, Twitter parents deliver. Enjoy 12 of the funniest parenting tweets of the week, a welcome constant in an unpredictable world.

Wanna guess why?

Kids really overestimate how much parents want to guess things.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) October 17, 2020

What they lack in size they make up for in vindictiveness

My 5-year old is rebelling against zoom school by mouthing words instead of speaking so as to make her teacher think there’s something wrong with the unmuting function

— Spencer Ackerman (@attackerman) October 15, 2020

How the- it actually was a giraffe

Me, playing 20 questions: *meticulously eliminates big categories and systematically narrows it down*

Kid, his very first question: Is it a giraffe?

— HowToBeADad (@HowToBeADad) October 22, 2020

Calories don’t count because technically it wasn’t your food

Today our 4yo insisted on a large bowl of Golden Grahams, banana, and milk for breakfast, so long story short, my breakfast was 99% of a large bowl of Golden Grahams, bananas and milk

— Dad on my Feet (@dad_on_my_feet) October 17, 2020

It’s what’s on the inside that counts

Birthday card from my three year old pic.twitter.com/GYudZiEc2f

— Luke Pearson (@thatlukeperson) October 14, 2020

It’s the abridged version

I let my kids turn the pages when we read together so they’re more engaged with the story and also because they accidentally skip pages sometimes.

— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) October 19, 2020

Hear me out though: Transformer baby

wife: the baby needs changing

me: I don’t know I kinda like her

— tomBSTONE (@pilau) October 19, 2020

An understandably under-celebrated milestone

Today my toddler discovered that his penis can be used as a comedic prop, and now my parenting journey can truly begin.

— WTFDAD (@daddydoubts) October 20, 2020

Dad: 1, Kid: 4,829

Next time my kid’s on a zoom class, I’m gonna get in a fight with someone in the background and then ask for a bowl of cereal.

— Dad Bits (@DadBits) October 20, 2020

[Out loud] I like this tweet

when my son is watching a youtube video and they ask for a thumbs up he gives them a literal thumbs up and it’s just so cute how fucking stupid he is

— [email protected] (@TweetPotato314) October 21, 2020

Nothing good ever starts with “close your eyes”

5: close your eyes and open your mouth

me: that’s a hard pass.

— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) October 20, 2020

Abracadadra

[doing magic for my kids]

Me: watch as I make this toy DISAPPEAR *puts toy on shelf where it belongs*

8 year old: omg where did it go?

3 year old: *crying* did you throw out my toy?

— Roy🌾 (@Roy_oh_Roy) October 20, 2020

Did you miss last week’s funniest parenting tweets?

The reigning king of creepy movies, Tim Burton, has brought us gems like The Nightmare Before Christmas, Beetlejuice, and Edward Scissorhands. He has an unparalleled talent for bringing spooky stories to life in a way that pulls you in, and doesn’t let you go until the end credits roll. His movies have withstood the test of time, but until now, Burton has never taken on a live-action TV series. It seems fitting that Burton’s first leap into the world of live-action TV revolves around the world’s kookiest household – The Addams Family.

Originally created in 1938 by cartoonist Charles Addams, the spooky family has been brought to life again and again both on TV and in films. It’s no secret that Tim Burton is a lover of the bizarre and macabre, and his newest project is no exception. Next up on Burton’s bucket-list is a live-action Addams family series, which he is set to executive produce.

Burton is teaming up with Alfred Gough and Miles Millar of Smallville fame, who will act as head writers, showrunners, and executive producers. According to Deadline, Burton is also working on negotiations to direct the series.

The specifics of the rebooted Addams Family series are not yet confirmed, but sources say it will be set in present times. More than any other year in recent memory, it seems like the freaky family would have a lot to say about 2020.

MGM TV, who holds the intellectual property rights for the Addams Family franchise, is set to finance the series. Where the show itself will land is undecided, but the bids are already rolling in from streaming services and networks.

Could Tim Burton’s live-action Addams Family series be the next binge-worthy show to hit Netflix, or will we have to wait for a new episode each week like our ancestors did in the old days? A lot of questions are still unanswered, but with Burton in the driver’s seat, it’s sure to be incredible.

Tom Holland is a great Spider-Man, but now we have his first look at playing another beloved character, ‘Uncharted’s Nathan Drake. For those of you now catching up (maybe you’ve come from the MCU, welcome!), Uncharted was an epic video game franchise and one of the best-selling ever. It’s about adventurer slash treasure hunter Nathan Drake, the series is universally acclaimed, was developed by Naughty Dog, and is now going to be a movie.

OK, to be fair, most movie news about Tom Holland these days is about Spider-Man 3 and the possibility of the Spider-verse, but seeing Holland as Drake means a lot to a bunch of people.  Mainly, because it’s the first sign that the project is actually starting to make some progress.

Holland shared the first look on his Twitter of him as Drake in his typical getup (simple plus pistols).

It’s nice to meet you, I’m Nate. #uncharted pic.twitter.com/v79Mvy26iH

— Tom Holland (@TomHolland1996) October 22, 2020

You’d figure a best-selling video game franchise would’ve already had a movie or six, but this is a project that has been in development for a long time. Like, seriously long. Almost a decade. It’s gone through a bunch of scripts, seven different directors, a handful of different target release dates, but now it looks like it’s finally getting into gear.

Holland reportedly is playing a younger version of Drake, so it may be a prequel/origin story for Drake. The original voice actor of Drake in the video games shared some shots from the sets too, so this is really happening!

Like looking into a mirror! Proud to have @TomHolland1996 continuing the Drake legacy! Absolutely smashing it!
Thanks for the set visit!!@unchartedmovie pic.twitter.com/sfiFYUJVyH

— Nolan North (@nolan_north) October 22, 2020

The ‘Uncharted’ movie is supposed to be released in the summer of 2021. Who knows if COVID will change that schedule, as it has so many others, but we’re closer than ever to the end of a project that feels ancient at this point. The movie is also supposed to star Mark Wahlberg and Antonio Banderas, so you know it’s gonna rock whenever it does finally make it to a theater.