The Most Ridiculous Finishing Moves In WWE History

(YouTube)

We all know that the WWE is fake, right? We acknowledge that, yeah? But we don’t care, do we? Damn right we don’t. The WWE is clearly a whole load of fun that we shouldn’t take seriously, and if you don’t agree with that, let me give you a play by play of some of the most ridiculous finishing moves in the franchise history.

Scotty 2 Hotty – The Worm

The Worm is a spectacle, I’ll give you that. It used to be my favorite when I was a kid, because of the sheer ridiculousness of it all.

Let’s take this step by step.

Scotty knocks a person to the ground. He stands above their head and holds his hands out wide, and runs on the spot for a few seconds. The victim continues to lay on the ground.

He then jumps onto his left foot and jumps around maybe 5 steps until he is about half the ring away. Fortunately for Scotty 2 Hotty, they continue to lay on the ground this whole time too.

Then, he does the worm. He literally does the frickin’ worm, until he is close enough to their body to attack (something he could have done the second he knocked them down, but whatever). Somehow they are still laying down, by the way.

Then, after ALL of that showmanship and dancing around, some 30 seconds after he initially knocked the guy to the ground, he literally just falls over and karate chops the dude in the chest. If he just did the karate chop it would be over in less than two seconds, would have the same level of impact, and would probably do little to no damage to the opponent.

The Rock – The People’s Elbow

Along a similar line as the Worm is the People’s Elbow. Now, The Rock is a wrestling legend. Like, he was the best for a long time, won titles, was the global face of the organization. He is probably the most successful breakout from the WWE too, and is now genuinely taken seriously as a Hollywood actor. Bearing that in mind, let’s remind ourselves of the People’s Elbow.

The Rock has knocked some fool to the ground. Good start, The Rock, good job. Then he decides to (Mortal Kombat voice) finish him.

So what does he do? Well, the move is called the People’s Elbow, so presumably he elbows the fool. Well, kind of.

First off, he does some kind of weird dab sort of thing (I guess?) and pulls off his elbow pad and lobs it in the crowd. Sometimes, he takes the other one off and chucks that too, but that’s non-standard.

Then, he runs to the rope and bounces off of it. Okay, you’re thinking, he’s running at the guy, he’s gonna elbow him. He’s been building up speed to elbow him extra good.

This big fella is building up momentum. This elbow is gonna be fierce. He’s been building velocity for what feels like days running into those frickin’ ropes.

But then, he gets there, and he stops! He stops, he kicks his leg up into the air for some reason, and then he elbow the guy.

Rakishi – The Stink Face

After years of training to be a professional wrestler, CLEARLY Rakishi wanted to make a mark on the profession. Who wouldn’t show off their athletic ability?

So Rakishi was this big guy from California who dressed like a sumo wrestler, kind of. Now, if you were the commissioner or script writer or whatever, you are OBVIOUSLY gonna use this to your advantage, right? “Make the fat dude do something with his ass hahaha,” right?

Right. That’s what they did.

Rakishi gets the guy in the corner, and he runs at him and slams his body against him. That’s pretty good, pretty effective. The guy slides down to sit in the corner, slumped against the rope in a sitting position.

Rakishi wanders around the ring for a minute. Then he does this kind of Raise the Roof sort of movement and walks towards the presumably unconscious or at least dazed opponent, and sticks his ass in their face.

I guess the smell of Rakishi’s ass must be so bad that they are completely incapacitated and he pins them. That must be it. I mean, he’s overweight so he must stink, is the message I think?

Mankind – The Mandible Claw

Mick Foley was my favourite, and Mankind was my favorite edition of Mick. He was awesome. The weird mask-like leatherface, the baggy shirt, the tie, the smiley faces. He was awesome, he was weird. I loved him.

But my love for Mankind does not mean the Mandible Claw wasn’t downright strange.

The opponent would be staggering around all dazed – not enough to fall to the ground, mind you— and Mick would see his opportunity.

He would reach into his underpants, and he would pull out a sock WITH A FACE ON IT, called Mr Socko. He would put it on his hand, and he would stick his hand in the other guy’s mouth.

Let that sink in for a minute.

He’s got a sock with a face and a name. In his underpants. And he sticks it in a guy’s mouth and chokes him out.

Jesus.

Tajiri – The Green Mist

This one is fairly straight forward compared to the others. This is a classic Heel move, with Tajiri being a bit of a cheater. I’m fairly sure there are some racially insensitive undertones to the whole character, but let’s focus on the move itself.

The opponent thinks they have Tajiri beat. They think he has been dazed. They think he is probably gonna collapse and be defeated. But they are wrong.

All of a sudden, he spins around and he spits a bunch of green dye in their face in a big mist. They are blinded, he attacks them, he takes them out.

Tajiri was an incredibly athletic man, who would leap about like an acrobat, and was clearly very well trained at what he did. But his whole character was built on the foundation that he was a rascal who spat in people’s eyes.

The evolution of the finishing move is one to keep an eye on. In the 80s, Hulk Hogan did a leg drop. In the 90s, The Rock gave us the People’s Elbow, and in the 00s we were gifted The Worm. Maybe in 2020 my own finishing move will debut. I knock a guy unconscious, paint his portrait while he is propped up in the center of the ring, then I frame it, and then hit him with it.

Now, even though we know that wrestling is fake, nobody can tell me it isn’t entertaining.

Father Figures: Rainbow Baby

“I never thought i would be a great father. I grew up in a home with a father who had anger issues.

As the years went by, I got married to my first wife, and we decided to try to be parents. Time and time again it was pregnancy, doctor’s visits, then, a few months later: miscarriage.

I gave up hope, and life being life, we separated. 7 years later, I met my wife Julie. 2 years after that, I got the text: two blue lines.

I was ready for a repeat. The months and visits kept happening, and I began to see my child grow. Her heart was strong, and she began moving. Then the visits began in the middle of the night. My wife’s blood pressure kept climbing and the threat of losing yet another baby became real.

Then, three weeks early, I get the call: my wife is being induced. 33 hours later, I’m holding my little girl.

9:12 a.m. on July 18, 2018 Victoria Ruth VanHuss, my rainbow baby, stole my heart.”

– Evan VanHuss

Want to share a story about fatherhood? Email fatherfigures@thedad.com

6 Dads Who Made the Most out of Winter 2019 [WATCH]

6 Dads Who Made the Most out of Winter 2019
(Eric Fobbe)

Winter is the best season! There’s snow to play in, there’s ice to skate on, and sometimes the commute to work is just too tough to struggle through (even though you managed to drive to the good tobogganing spot without a problem).

While lots of people are content with snuggling up indoors with some cocoa and a movie, these Dads are showing the season who’s boss.

1. Dad builds a wheelchair accessible snow fort

Gregg Eichhorn of Cincinnati spent five hours building a wheelchair-accessible snow fort so his daughter and son could both wheel through it. And he has seven other kids, get the full amazing story here.


2. Snow+Batman = Snowman? oh.

Alan Wolfard in New Mexico built an 8-foot snow Batman in his front garden in Bloomfield. He said it took him about three hours to build and it’s been getting lots of attention from his neighbors. He followed up Batman with Wonder Woman shortly after.


3. B.C. Dad builds an ice rink for his hockey-loving son

The winters are notoriously temperamental in British Columbia, Canada. After waiting weeks for the cold weather to stay, Sam Dinter and his dad, Chris are skating around their own backyard.

Ever since he was a boy, Chris wanted to build his own hockey rink in his garden and now, as a Dad, he can do it. Along with his sons, he put a liner down and filled it with a layer of water.

After weeks of worrying that the big freeze was never going to come, the weather finally cooperated and their garden was transformed from a shallow pool to the perfect ice rink.

4. Dad builds a monster snowman

Yet another dad putting our moderately proportioned snowman to shame, Eric Fobbe of Buffalo, Minnesota wanted to build ‘The Father of All Snowmen’.

He used a snowblower, a skidsteer, and a shovel to construct the 20-foot-tall ‘Snowskwatch’ in his yard. His neighbors must be so happy.


5. Saskatoon man builds an ice castle

Elsa has nothing on Don Greer of Saskatoon, Canada who built a 22-feet tall ice sculpture in the shape of a beautiful castle.

“Built with a one-by-two wood armature – with a chicken wire mesh that’s applied over that and then you begin to spray with a fine mist of water from a garden hose,” Greer said.

Inspired by Disney’s Frozen, it took Greer over 60 hours to finish and almost all of December.


6. Dad builds a snow tubing track in his front yard

Brian Johnson in Moorhead, Minnesota was inspired by the sheer amount of snow they’ve had this season. He has been working on the snow tubing track since February and is over 6 feet tall at the highest point. You can watch a video of the fun here.

“Just an epic tubing hill…of course, the children, they need something to do, keeps me busy,” he said.

In the spring Johnson said that he’ll turn it into a slip ‘n’ slide hill.

Wow! I wish he was my neighbor.

Dad Builds 6 Foot Snow Tube Hill
(KVRR Local News)

Looks like I’m going to have to up my game next winter!

Brewery Puts Lost Unicorn Stuffy to Work in Hopes of Getting Him Home

(Twitter/EurekaHeights)

Breweries offer a lot of things, most of which I am a big fan. One that surprised me recently, however, was stuffed animal recovery.

It started when a frantic dad ran into Eureka Heights Brew Co. looking for his kid’s stuffed unicorn. At the time, no one in the brewery had seen the toy so the dad left to look elsewhere.

When the little mythical creature turned up later, the brewers had no way of contacting the flustered dad, so they hopped on Twitter to try and get the word out.

And things didn’t stop there. Since things were taking longer than expected, the brew team decided the little guy should have to earn his keep.

In the end, the new four-legged brewer went through the entire beer-making process, from raw ingredients to canning.




With all of the social media hullaballoo, the dad eventually got in touch to rescue the newest Eureka Heights master brewer.

Hopefully, he grabbed a few cold ones on the way out that the two of them could share after such a hard day’s work.

Yippie-Ki-Yay! The Die Hard Board Game Is Almost Here

(20th Century Fox)

Welcome to the party, pal! The newest board game coming to market is based on the classic action film Die Hard and looks pretty promising.


Titled Die Hard: The Nakatomi Heist Board Game, the game is reportedly a one-versus-many asymmetrical experience, just like John McClain versus a skyscraper full of baddies.

(OP Games)

Die Hard’s influence over the action-thriller genre is staggering, so we were beyond excited for the opportunity to harness the movie’s expert blend of action, intelligence and drama into a unique tabletop experience,” said Pat Marino, lead game designer for OP Games, in a press release. “We are developing a game that will deeply resonate with Die Hard enthusiasts, incorporating even the slightest details to create a rich and entertaining experience that properly pays tribute to arguably the greatest action movie of all time.”

OP Games is known for creating new licensed versions of classic games like Clue, Monopoly, and Risk.

Die Hard: The Nakatomi Heist Board Game is reportedly an all-new tabletop game developed internally at OP, not based on any classic games you might recognize.

The price of the game has yet to be announced, but $640 million in bearer bonds would be reasonable to the vast majority of Die Hard fans. Expect to see this bad boy on select retailer shelves this spring.


March Madness Has Nothing on This Nail-Biter of a Baby Race [WATCH]

Baby Race
(Facebook/ESPN)

The NCAA Tournament is two weeks of nail-biting competition, agonizing last-second losses, and countless bracket busters. The 64-team tourney is a hell of a way to kick-off spring. There simply aren’t many sporting events that bring the drama like March Madness does.

But we may have found one that gives it a run for its money.

Last week, during the ACC tournament, there was a matchup between ACC also-rans Boston College (GO EAGLES!) and Pittsburgh. Don’t worry, this isn’t the “drama” we’re talking about. Neither of those teams factored into their conference tournament, let alone this weekend’s big dance.

What we’re talking about happened at half-time, when the teams left the court to make way for the true competitors: a bunch of babies! I don’t just mean Dickie V’s diaper dandies, I’m talking actual, literal babies.

The halftime “show” featured the 2019 ACC Tournament Baby Race, wherein a bunch of parents deposited their infants on the court and coaxed them into racing each other. Six babies were placed, on their hands and knees, at the foul line by one parent, while the other parent stood at half court and tried to exhort their child to crawl to them.

Somehow, this race of oblivious, poorly-coordinated babies resulted in some high drama! After some confusion, during which the lead baby turned around and went back to his mother, a blue-clad baby stormed out to a big lead.

Unfortunately, before reaching the finish line, the kid became distracted by something shiny, or maybe filled his diaper with something slimy, and slowed to even more of a crawl, leaving things wide open for the suddenly sprinting baby at the top to sneak up from behind and steal a victory.

The legitimately thrilling video has nearly 300k likes and over 167,000 shares. Which is a lot more engagement than the BC/Pitt game got!

Watch it here:

3 Things to Do With Your Kids This Weekend

Things to Do With Your Kids
(Getty/ktmoffitt/Westend61/Johner Images)

Hooray for another weekend, or two-day-vacation-with-kids as I like to think of it. It’s all about disconnecting with the daily drudgery and making some memories with your little ones. It doesn’t matter if you’re building something or just being silly, commit to whatever you’re doing and have a good time.

Go Metal Detecting

Metal Detecting with Kids
(Getty/ktmoffitt)

The ground has thawed and it’s time to hunt for buried treasure! Yes, you’ll need to rent or purchase a detector, but they are relatively inexpensive to buy these days and there are even less expensive models for children – as low as $30. You can rent a higher-end model for yourself that can distinguish the type of metals your kids have detected with their junior versions – that way you end up with less rusty nails and more coins. This activity gets them outside and exercising and they still get to clutch a handheld device!

Host a Crazy Cook-Off

Set-up a few stations with ingredients and cooking utensils that your little chefs get to be in charge of.  Give them the basics: flour, eggs, milk and then kick things up a notch by allowing them to add any other ingredients! Let them explore the fridge and cupboards and add whatever they please: ketchup, olives, various spices, etc. Before they start, explain to them they have to try at least one bite of whatever they make after it’s been baked. Make sure to record the taste test, obviously.

Or you could go with something edible and make a pizza together.

Un-Bore a Chore: Spring Cleaning

It’s official, spring has sprung! So get the kids involved in the traditional clean-up by making it fun and rewarding. Start by putting on some music that will keep everyone energized. Challenge your kids to tidy an area against the clock – start a timer and let the games begin! Most times they’ll be enthused to use the tools of the trade – a broom, vacuum, a dust wand, etc. Offer incentives, dinner at their favorite restaurant, a credit toward a new purchase, or a night out at the movies.

They could also purge their old toys and donate them to charity.

Spring Cleaning With Kids
(Getty/Johner Images)

For more suggestions check out last week’s 3 Things to Do With Your Kids.

Just a heads up, if you buy stuff using the provided links, The Dad may collect a small commission.

Music Video Shows People With Down Syndrome Living Their Best Lives [WATCH]

(Facebook/Wouldn't Change A Thing)

World Down Syndrome Day is here!

Today is the day when those with Down Syndrome, as well as those who live and work with them, come together to raise public awareness and create a single global voice, advocating for the right, inclusion and well being of those with Down Syndrome.

The parent-led Down Syndrome awareness organization “Wouldn’t Change a Thing” is focused on creating a world where negative and inaccurate perceptions of Down Syndrome are a thing of the past.

This year, the organization created a video to the tune of Queen’s “Don’t Stop Me Now” to highlight the ways in which people with Down Syndrome of all ages enjoy and achieve in life.


“This video project lets the fulfilling lives of young people with Down Syndrome do the talking,” they wrote in the description. “It holds up a mirror to society and dares the viewer to challenge everything they thought they knew about Down Syndrome, and to think again.”

Want to show the organization your support? Check out their Facebook page and don’t forget to use #wouldntchangeathing

Bill & Ted Face The Music as Middle Aged Dads in 2020 [WATCH]

Bill & Ted Teaser Announcement
(Twitter/BillandTed3)

You know those guys you knew in high school or college who you could never imagine having kids? Maybe they were burnouts or jelly butts, or maybe they just didn’t seem like they’ ever grow up? We all knew guys like that, and wouldn’t you know it, as unlikely as it seemed at the time, they ended up getting older too!

In related news, Bill S. Preston, Esquire and Ted “Theodore” Logan – Bill and Ted – are coming back in a new movie, and in it, they’re middle-aged dads. And we are all officially old men.

That’s right, a third Bill and Ted movie is coming soon to a theater near you, written by the screenwriters of the first two flicks, with original stars Alex Winter and Keanu Reeves reprising their famous roles. But things are a little different this time because while Wyld Stallyns remain together, they’re now – wait for it – middle-aged dads! And you thought they went through hell in BOGUS JOURNEY!

Strange things are afoot at the Circle K.

Seeing those two as parents is going to be something. Especially without the guidance of the late great George Carlin as Rufus! Here’s hoping they’re not quite as airheaded as they used to be.

Today, the duo went on Twitter to thank fans and officially announce that the film – Bill and Ted Face the Music – will be released on August 21st, 2020.

In the short video, Winter says the film is a result of all the fan support: “It is all because of you guys, so we owe you a huge debt of gratitude and we want to say thank you.”


The official synopsis, from the press release:

Yet to fulfill their rock’n’roll destiny, the now middle-aged best friends set out on a new adventure, when a visitor from the future warns them that only their song can save life as we know it and bring harmony to the universe. Along the way, they will be helped by their families, old friends and a few music legends.