The Most Ridiculous Finishing Moves In WWE History

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We all know that the WWE is fake, right? We acknowledge that, yeah? But we don’t care, do we? Damn right we don’t. The WWE is clearly a whole load of fun that we shouldn’t take seriously, and if you don’t agree with that, let me give you a play by play of some of the most ridiculous finishing moves in the franchise history.

Scotty 2 Hotty – The Worm

The Worm is a spectacle, I’ll give you that. It used to be my favorite when I was a kid, because of the sheer ridiculousness of it all.

Let’s take this step by step.

Scotty knocks a person to the ground. He stands above their head and holds his hands out wide, and runs on the spot for a few seconds. The victim continues to lay on the ground.

He then jumps onto his left foot and jumps around maybe 5 steps until he is about half the ring away. Fortunately for Scotty 2 Hotty, they continue to lay on the ground this whole time too.

Then, he does the worm. He literally does the frickin’ worm, until he is close enough to their body to attack (something he could have done the second he knocked them down, but whatever). Somehow they are still laying down, by the way.

Then, after ALL of that showmanship and dancing around, some 30 seconds after he initially knocked the guy to the ground, he literally just falls over and karate chops the dude in the chest. If he just did the karate chop it would be over in less than two seconds, would have the same level of impact, and would probably do little to no damage to the opponent.

The Rock – The People’s Elbow

Along a similar line as the Worm is the People’s Elbow. Now, The Rock is a wrestling legend. Like, he was the best for a long time, won titles, was the global face of the organization. He is probably the most successful breakout from the WWE too, and is now genuinely taken seriously as a Hollywood actor. Bearing that in mind, let’s remind ourselves of the People’s Elbow.

The Rock has knocked some fool to the ground. Good start, The Rock, good job. Then he decides to (Mortal Kombat voice) finish him.

So what does he do? Well, the move is called the People’s Elbow, so presumably he elbows the fool. Well, kind of.

First off, he does some kind of weird dab sort of thing (I guess?) and pulls off his elbow pad and lobs it in the crowd. Sometimes, he takes the other one off and chucks that too, but that’s non-standard.

Then, he runs to the rope and bounces off of it. Okay, you’re thinking, he’s running at the guy, he’s gonna elbow him. He’s been building up speed to elbow him extra good.

This big fella is building up momentum. This elbow is gonna be fierce. He’s been building velocity for what feels like days running into those frickin’ ropes.

But then, he gets there, and he stops! He stops, he kicks his leg up into the air for some reason, and then he elbow the guy.

Rakishi – The Stink Face

After years of training to be a professional wrestler, CLEARLY Rakishi wanted to make a mark on the profession. Who wouldn’t show off their athletic ability?

So Rakishi was this big guy from California who dressed like a sumo wrestler, kind of. Now, if you were the commissioner or script writer or whatever, you are OBVIOUSLY gonna use this to your advantage, right? “Make the fat dude do something with his ass hahaha,” right?

Right. That’s what they did.

Rakishi gets the guy in the corner, and he runs at him and slams his body against him. That’s pretty good, pretty effective. The guy slides down to sit in the corner, slumped against the rope in a sitting position.

Rakishi wanders around the ring for a minute. Then he does this kind of Raise the Roof sort of movement and walks towards the presumably unconscious or at least dazed opponent, and sticks his ass in their face.

I guess the smell of Rakishi’s ass must be so bad that they are completely incapacitated and he pins them. That must be it. I mean, he’s overweight so he must stink, is the message I think?

Mankind – The Mandible Claw

Mick Foley was my favourite, and Mankind was my favorite edition of Mick. He was awesome. The weird mask-like leatherface, the baggy shirt, the tie, the smiley faces. He was awesome, he was weird. I loved him.

But my love for Mankind does not mean the Mandible Claw wasn’t downright strange.

The opponent would be staggering around all dazed – not enough to fall to the ground, mind you— and Mick would see his opportunity.

He would reach into his underpants, and he would pull out a sock WITH A FACE ON IT, called Mr Socko. He would put it on his hand, and he would stick his hand in the other guy’s mouth.

Let that sink in for a minute.

He’s got a sock with a face and a name. In his underpants. And he sticks it in a guy’s mouth and chokes him out.

Jesus.

Tajiri – The Green Mist

This one is fairly straight forward compared to the others. This is a classic Heel move, with Tajiri being a bit of a cheater. I’m fairly sure there are some racially insensitive undertones to the whole character, but let’s focus on the move itself.

The opponent thinks they have Tajiri beat. They think he has been dazed. They think he is probably gonna collapse and be defeated. But they are wrong.

All of a sudden, he spins around and he spits a bunch of green dye in their face in a big mist. They are blinded, he attacks them, he takes them out.

Tajiri was an incredibly athletic man, who would leap about like an acrobat, and was clearly very well trained at what he did. But his whole character was built on the foundation that he was a rascal who spat in people’s eyes.

The evolution of the finishing move is one to keep an eye on. In the 80s, Hulk Hogan did a leg drop. In the 90s, The Rock gave us the People’s Elbow, and in the 00s we were gifted The Worm. Maybe in 2020 my own finishing move will debut. I knock a guy unconscious, paint his portrait while he is propped up in the center of the ring, then I frame it, and then hit him with it.

Now, even though we know that wrestling is fake, nobody can tell me it isn’t entertaining.

Son Surprises Ailing Dad With Tickets To College World Series

Father’s Day is a special time to celebrate your old man, and show him how much you appreciate the role he’s played in your life all these years. Especially since, as we get older, our dads do too, and they may not have many Father’s Days left.

Matt Lea recognized that this Father’s Day, and so went out of his way to make it a memorable one, for both him and his father, both former college baseball players who bonded over the game as Matt was growing up.

Matt’s father Billy suffers from Alzheimer’s Disease, and the symptoms have been accruing rapidly. But that doesn’t mean there isn’t time for more memories, and Matt used the latest Father’s Day as an opportunity to do just that. The 36-year-old drove 12 hours, from Florida to Mississippi, and surprised his parents at their doorstep on Sunday.

He was bearing gifts as well, bringing his dad the jersey of his favorite baseball team, Mississippi State. But that wasn’t all. Matt brought tickets too, to see the College World Series in Omaha in person.

In video of the exchange that Matt posted on Twitter, his dad was clearly taken by surprise.

“I figured it’s probably not good enough just for us to watch the game here,” Matt says in the video as he produces the tickets. “How about we go to Omaha? Do you want to go up to Omaha and watch the College World Series together?”

“Golly,” an emotional Billy responds. “You’re gonna break my heart, here.”

Matt’s gift for his dad received a rapturous response from Twitter, where it’s been liked 46,000 times and retweeted 11,000 times.

Matt seemed as surprised by the response as his dad was by the gift, as everyone who celebrated Father’s Day yesterday knows, there’s nothing better than sharing meaningful memories with your dad, which is exactly what Matt did. An article on Omaha.com details Billy’s baseball past, the initial diagnosis of his Alzheimer’s, the VIP experience Matt treated him too over the weekend.

Matt’s Twitter account showcased the rest.

Happy Father’s Day!

Amazing Street Artist Uses Everyday Objects As His Canvas

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Artist Tom Bob doesn’t see the world like other people. Where you and I might see sewer grates or metal pipes, he sees ghosts and saxophone players.

Check out some of the amazing ways he’s transforming parts of New York City into works of art.

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Check out more of Tom Bob and his unique artwork here.

Father Figures: Heroes

“On February 2, 2011, my daughter was born. The whole thing started pretty normally about 2:30 am or so, my wife woke me up and said, ‘Honey, it is time to go,’ so we went to the hospital in a snowstorm.

That was the easy part.

When they put the belly monitor on her they noticed that the babies heart rate would drop to low whenever my wife would have a contraction. She needed emergency C-section, but the doctor could not make it due to the storm, and when he finally arrived it was rush rush rush!
Well when my daughter Emily did arrive, she had internal bleeding throughout her body, which included two grade 4 brain bleeds. We could not touch her because she would bruise and start bleeding.
They had to life-flight her to the university, where she spent 5 1/2 weeks in the NICU, which left her (you may want to sit down) deaf/blind, with hydrocephalus, a shunt, cerebral palsy, and seizures (at age 6, she needed a baclofen pump because her CP got too bad to handle without it). She is doing great today. She is happy, loves life, and everyone who meets her says that she makes their day and she is beautiful.
To pay back our little community, I became a first responder, mostly a firefighter, but I did help with EMS. Never got my certification, but that is where I found out that in the U.S. we do not have any training for first responders to deal with children with special needs.
I have made it my personal mission to teach first responders about kids with special needs.
I have taken to Emily to every EMS/Fire station in the five counties around me. I have taken her to the police and sheriff’s departments to train them, and now I have a waiting list to get trained.
I don’t know if I am the hero here, but I needed to tell the story.”

– Mike Kuyper

Want to share a story about fatherhood? Email fatherfigures@thedad.com

Low Cost Cosplay Guy Makes The World A Better Place

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Anucha “Cha” Saengchart, the genius behind “Low Cost Cosplay,” has amassed millions of followers with his incredible reimaginings of famous fictional characters.

Whether you’re planning on portraying your favorite anime character or a Marvel superhero, this guy can show you how to do it effectively and on a string budget.

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Can’t get enough? Check out more creative cosplay on his Facebook page.

Dad Turns Photos Of Daughter Into Kickass Album Covers

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When graphic designer Ryan Foster spotted a somber, black and white photo of his daughter, Harper Lou, it instantly reminded him of a blues album cover. He couldn’t help but throw some graphics onto the image to create her first “album” cover himself.

This has led to a series of album covers featuring Harper Lou, many of which look pretty damn legit. She may not be making actual records yet, but her dad will definitely be ready when she does.

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You can find more awesome album covers as well as other design projects by Ryan on his Instagram.

The 5 Hottest Father’s Day Tech Gifts Your Dad Will Ask To See The Receipt For

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Mother’s Day is in the rearview and our annual celebration of everything Dad is fast approaching. Sure, he loved those grilling tongs and Three Stooges boxsets you got him last year. But if there’s one things all dads love, it’s being assured that they’ve genetically passed on their cheapness. Here are 5 Father’s Day gadgets your dad is definitely going to demand the receipt for.

1. A smart speaker

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Source: Amazon

These have become relatively expensive in recent years. This, of course, isn’t going to stop your dad from assuming it set you back several thousand dollars. Your dad just figured out how to make a Facebook profile. He’s gonna need a minute on talking AI servants.

2. A streaming stick

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Source: Roku

“So yeah, you just plug this Roku stick into the TV and you can pretty much watch anything you want.” That’s you. That’s you telling your dad you just spent a boatload of money on a piece of technology. “Instant access to every movie ever made” is your dad’s cue to ask you to retrieve the Best Buy receipt crammed in the console’s cupholder.

3. A dashcam

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Source: Amazon

These are great to have in the event of an accident. Unfortunately, your dad is still under the impression it’s 1999 and all digital cameras cost ten million dollars. Be sure to keep this receipt in your wallet, because this thing’s going right back to the store if it ran you how much he thinks it ran you.

4. An e-reader

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Source: Amazon

What a lovely thought. Your dad, sitting up in bed, every book he could possibly want at his fingertips. What will he read first? A book about World War II? The biography of Henry Ford? The answer is, of course, the receipt for this fancy reading tablet that probably set you back three mortgage payments.

5. A yearly-subscription to a music streaming service

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Source: Spotify

You just want him to be able to listen to the Doobie Brothers whenever he wants. But by his math, if buying a single song on iTunes costs $1, and Spotifly, as he calls it, gives you access to over four million songs, you’ve essentially just bankrupted your family. Good job. Be sure to keep that receipt handy to prove to him that he can still see his grandkids attend college one day.