Crank the Springsteen and tell the gas station cashier you need the big bag of ice, Independence Day has arrived! Here are 10 funny Fourth of July tweets you can share assuming you haven’t already blown off your retweet finger.
It’s the most American of traditions.
You know the 4th of July is an American holiday because everyone says to “Stay safe” when celebrating.
— Alison Leiby (@AlisonLeiby) July 4, 2017
And it’s important to spread the holiday cheer.
To celebrate the 4th of July, I’m going to walk around the mall parking lot putting hot dogs under people’s windshield wipers.
— Del Freaky (@iAmDelFreaky) July 3, 2017
Sure, it’s a holiday of inconvenience.
Celebrating the 4th of July like every other parent: angrily cursing each firework that goes off after my kids are in bed.
— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) July 2, 2017
Especially if you don’t know what’s going on.
The 4th of July is a very special holiday where we pay tribute to the greatness of America by scaring the shit out of our dogs for 12 hours
— Fat RV Dad (@mattytalks) July 2, 2018
No really, make July 6th National Hug-a-Dog Day.
The holidays can be a really tough time for some. This 4th of July, if any of your dogs need someone to talk to. I’m here for them.
— Don Nichols (@DairylandDon) July 4, 2017
An important fireworks safety tip.
This 4th of July, please remember to leave fireworks to the experts: 10-year-old boys named Colton and Cody
— Karen Kilgariff (@KarenKilgariff) July 2, 2017
An important fireworks hypothetical situation.
[keanu reeves and owen wilson watching a fireworks show]
— Bob Vulfov (@bobvulfov) January 30, 2016
Nothing more patriotic than resourcefulness.
*makes a casserole out of leftover 4th of July picnic food/firecrackers*
— Ray (@SirEviscerate) July 5, 2013
July 5th will probably suck.
“Hope you had a great 4th of July!” – someone about to ask you for something in an email.
— Jason Mustian (@jasonmustian) July 6, 2015
But the memories will last forever.
[trying to make small talk with my coworker]
have a good 4th?
4th of July
“Like 3 months ago…?”
— luke [from online] (@internetluke) September 29, 2015