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Tweet Roundup: The Funniest Dad Tweets of March 2019

By The Dad
(Getty/skynesher)

Ahh, March. Spring has sprung, brackets have busted, and somewhere they’re still power-washing green puke off of a sidewalk. As a reward for your persistence through the Tuesday of months, here are some of the funniest dad tweets from it!

Simpler times.


The most powerful of power-naps.


Never miss out on chore credit.

Also, “getting the big pancake.”

Give this kid an advice column.

Tell your kids to just say no to advertising campaigns.


Sometimes you just know.


Sugarcoat nothing.


Good effort, kid.


It truly never ends.


When your spouse knows you all too well.

Ingenuity at its finest.

Bonus: Cat Dad of the month.

Minor League Team Debuts Dad-Bod Jerseys for Father’s Day

By Devin Holdraker
(Twitter/Tyler Hatcher)

There has been plenty of support lately for both celebrities and average guys around the country who have embraced the once dreaded “dad-bod”.

However, a minor league baseball team out of Kentucky recently took things to the next level with a hilarious homage to guys everywhere.

(Twitter/FlorenceFreedom)

The Florence Freedom, part of North Kentucky’s Frontier League, celebrated Father’s day by wearing custom “dad-bod” jerseys during their matchup against the Lake Erie Crushers last Sunday night. The disturbingly realistic flesh colored uniforms came complete with plenty of faux body hair and distinctive man nipples all capped off with a tribal tramp stamp on the reverse.

While the promotional jerseys may seem a bit ridiculous to those who rarely attend a minor league baseball game, regular fans will tell you things like this are standard fare for ball clubs these days as owners continue to explore new ways to fill the stadium.

Fans in attendance during Sunday’s game were also able to bid on the jerseys worn by the players.


Although the game was suspended due to rain, play is scheduled to resume on July 5th, hopefully along with the return of these very custom and awe-inspiring jerseys. Here’s a clip of them in action:

Father Figures: They Saved Me

By Mike Julianelle
Edgar Montenegro
(Supplied/Edgar Montenegro)

“I grew up with a dead beat father.

My parents split when I was 6. No matter how verbally or physically abusive he was, I didn’t want him to leave.

He treated me better than his other children. Later he disappeared, never to be heard of again. Never a birthday card, phone call or an acknowledgment for all my accomplishments.

I promised God that when my time came I would cherish my children and they would feel love that I never felt.

When our twins were born, I didn’t love them because I promised I would. I loved them because they were amazing in every way and they were helpless.

Their existence made me a better person. I set aside whatever selfish behaviors I ever had and life was about them. They saved me.”

– Edgar Montenegro

Want to share a story about fatherhood? Email fatherfigures@thedad.com

Check out the previous editions of Father Figures here.

Gibberish Dad-Son Duo Talk Their Way Into Father’s Day Denny’s Ad

By Jordan Stratton
(Twitter/DennysDiner)

You probably remember a couple of weeks ago when comedian DJ Pryor and his baby son had a gibberish-filled conversation with one another. The video absolutely exploded and people couldn’t get enough, including us.

Now Pryor and his 19-month-old son, Kingston, are back and chatting it up once again, this time at their favorite breakfast spot.

Denny’s knew an opportunity when they saw one and offered to highlight the father-son duo going ham on some bacon and pancakes for Father’s Day, and the results are just as adorable as you’d imagine.

Pryor shared the feature on his Instagram:

“Absolutely Blown Away!!!! We Partnered With Our Favorite Spot @Dennysdiner to have a Little Booth Chat! Very Important For Father Son Bonding. HAPPY FATHERS DAY!!!! From Mine to Yours!! Go Get A Grand Slam from Denny’s! Love Y’all!!!”

Pryor is a comedian based in Clarksville, Tennessee along with his wife, Shanieke, and children, 8-year-old Jabari and, of course, Kingston. Since all of the viral attention, he’s planning on adding more lovable dad material to his routine.

Based on these videos, it’s bound to be a gold mine.

“Buddy Benches” Are One Trend Parents Can Stand Behind

By Devin Holdraker
Buddy Bench
(buddybench.org)

Recess can be a socially challenging endeavor for even the most outgoing kids. Making new friends or simply walking up to a group of kids and asking them to play can seem downright daunting.

But thanks to a unique idea that has been spreading worldwide, kids now have a simple way of letting their peers know they may be looking for a friend.

In 2013, Christian Bucks, a first-grader at the time, was looking into schools overseas with his parents as his family was planning on moving to Germany. Christian came across a special bench at one of the schools and asked what it was all about. The bench had been placed to encourage kids who may need a friend to simply take a seat, letting other students know they’re looking to be included. Knowing kids who could certainly benefit from such a unique idea, Christian decided to bring one of these “buddy benches” to his current school, Roundtown Elementary in York, Pa.

While his family’s move to Germany never materialized, a buddy bench did. After convincing the school and giving a presentation to the entire community, Christian’s Buddy Bench was placed and soon the story gained national attention.

(BuddyBench.org)

Since then, hundreds of these awesome benches have popped up from Michigan to California, mostly thanks to the efforts of kids just like Christian. The official USA Girl Scouts Instagram account recently shared a photo of a scout named Ariana who purchased one for her school with the money she earned selling cookies.

Thanks to the efforts of others their age, kids in districts across the country now have a safe place to go when they’re feeling lonely or just want to be included. Psychiatrist and author Carole Lieberman, tells Parents.com “Kids need buddies more than ever because their world is more confusing than ever, and they want someone to talk to about it.”

While the benefits are obvious, Dr. Lieberman says the pitfalls may not be as apparent. “Sometimes bullies can take advantage of the vulnerability of the kid who sits down hoping to make a friend,” Dr. Lieberman notes, which is why proper supervision is essential.

Shari L. Camhi, Ed.D., Superintendent at Baldwin School District in New York says the benches offer a “neutral space, where those who are more outgoing are free to befriend peers who are less inclined to initiate a relationship.”

If you or your child are interested in bringing a buddy bench to their school or community, check out the tips over at BuddyBench.org.

Son Lovingly Dubs Dad “Asian Ron Swanson” in Viral Father’s Day Post

By Jordan Stratton
(NBC Universal Television & Twitter/Kane)

On Father’s Day, social media is jam-packed with dad-related well-wishes ranging from sentimental to sappy, but one of our absolute favorite posts came from Twitter user @kane.

The 25-tweet-long thread is full of heart-warming and hilarious anecdotes from Kane’s father, whom he has lovingly dubbed the “Asian Ron Swanson.”

Obviously, such a claim is bold, to say the least, but after reading about Kane’s beer-chugging, government-hating, meat-devouring father for ourselves, we agree: He’s one mustache away from everyone’s favorite Pawnee Parks & Rec director.




















Kane also made sure to follow up his anecdotes with additional information when necessary.

A big Happy Father’s Day to Kane’s badass dad. We will happily enjoy a whiskey (or four) in your honor.

Artist Transforms Disney Dads Into Photo-Realistic Fathers

By Jordan Stratton
(Buena Vista Pictures/Jirka Väätäinen)

Parents in Disney movies often get the short end of the stick. If they aren’t neglectful or straight up evil, they usually end up kicking the bucket pretty quickly in order for the protagonist to learn a valuable lesson or whatever.

Finnish artist, Jirka Väätäinen, is known for bringing beloved Disney characters to life with his photo-realistic art styles and recently he’s been focusing on these often forgotten figures—more specifically, the dads.

Like the films, these fathers span history and cultures, and Väätäinen does an amazing job bringing them to life while retaining their signature features. And yes, they are all ridiculously handsome. . . as all dads are, right?

Tarzan’s dad, John

We don’t see or hear much about Tarzan’s late father, yet he still managed to make an impression—in part, due to his courage in defending his family, but mostly for that glorious facial hair, damn! Honestly, his personal grooming alone should have been able to slay that leopard.

(Buena Vista Pictures)

(Jirka Väätäinen)

Ariel’s dad, King Triton

Despite the rising trend of dad bods, this silver-maned father manages to remain ripped and cut while simultaneously running an underwater kingdom. Move over, Jason Mamoa. The original trident-wielding heartthrob is here.

(Buena Vista Pictures)
(Jirka Väätäinen)

Aladdin’s dad, Cassim

Only real Disney fanatics will recognize Cassim from the straight-to-VHS Aladdin sequel, Aladdin and the King of Thieves, and Väätäinen does wonders to bring this debonair dad back into the spotlight.

(Walt Disney Home Video)
(Jirka Väätäinen)

Pocahontas’s dad, Chief Powhatan

Another dad in a position of power, Powhatan’s quiet strength is represented perfectly in Väätäinen’s interpretation. Of course, he had to add a little warpaint just to let you know he could still totally kick your ass.

(Buena Vista Pictures)

(Jirka Väätäinen)

Hercules’ dad, Zeus

Another hunky dad, Disney’s Zeus quite literally has the bod of a Greek god. Väätäinen’s work maintains Zeus’s miraculous pecs while still emphasizing his joyful demeanor. He’s the dad who would accidentally crush you with a bear hug.

(Jirka Väätäinen)

Four-Year-Old Boy Steals Great-Grandfather’s SUV to Score Candy

By Devin Holdraker
4yo Drives SUV to Get Candy
(YouTube/CBS 17)

Ever have a serious craving for some Reese’s peanut butter cups? Totally. Who hasn’t?

Ever steal your great-grandfather’s Hyundai Santa Fe to go on a candy run? No? Well, buckle up!

A 4-year-old Minnesota boy named Sebastian did just that recently, diving the stolen SUV over a mile during morning rush hour traffic to a local gas station, all in search of peanut butter cups. Luckily, this story has a happy ending as no one, aside from a few mailboxes, was injured during the candy caper.

The mischievous youngster used his great grandfather’s walker to reach the keys, sneaking off without anyone noticing. His eyes barely able to see over the wheel, Sebastian made his way down several side streets before making it to University Avenue, a major roadway in the middle of busy morning drive time. Witnesses reported seeing the vehicle traveling erratically, rarely exceeding 15 miles per hour.

Eventually, Sebastian made it to the local SpeedWay where police arrived shortly after.

“We laugh about it, but it could’ve been very serious,” Sebastian’s great-grandfather Roy Becker told news station KMSP. “He could’ve hit a car. He wasn’t wearing a seat belt. We could be talking about a funeral.”

“I’ve never seen a driver this young before operating a vehicle,” Capt. Mark Boerboom told the TV station. Thanks to no serious injuries or property damage, most are able to joke about it now, however, all involved say parents need to be aware of how quickly things like this can happen.

The family says they now plan to lock up all car keys for the foreseeable future.

Perhaps they should consider a few packages of Reese’s in the freezer too… just in case.

Microsoft Unveils Next-Gen Console: Project Scarlett

By Jordan Stratton
(YouTube/Xbox)

Microsoft is finally unveiling details regarding its upcoming console that will compete against the PlayStation 5 and Google’s Stadia Service. This high-end console, codenamed Project Scarlett, will reportedly output 4 times more power than their current powerhouse, the Xbox One X, and “usher in resolution and framerates we’ve never seen before.”

This new project will be powerful enough to support ray-tracing (an advanced graphics rendering technique), variable refresh rate support, and up to 120fps in gameplay. It will also support 8k gaming (though, it might be harder getting your hands on a TV that will support 8k, honestly).

Like the PS5, Project Scarlett is utilizing a solid state drive (SSD) to help boost the console’s performance.

“We’ve created a new generation of SSDs. We’re using the SSD as virtual RAM,” says an Xbox spokesperson in their unveiling video.

This will result in a console that is up to 40 times faster than the current generation, cutting loading times to a fraction of what they currently are. (You’re welcome, players of massive RPGs)

Of course, new consoles are dead in the water without quality games to release with them, which is why Microsoft is making everyone knows that Halo Infinite will be launching alongside it. Hopefully, couch co-op is including this time around. [biggest side-eye ever to 343 Industries]

As with the PS5, we don’t have actual specs of what the physical Project Scarlet console will look like yet, but be on the lookout for updates in the coming months, especially when next year’s E3 rolls around.

Robin Williams’ Son Zak Pays Tribute to Dad With Naming of Firstborn

By Mike Julianelle
McLaurin Clement Williams
(Instagram/zeldawilliams)

Everyone loved Robin Williams, his energy, spontaneity, and unbridled creativity thrilled stand-up audiences, TV viewers, and moviegoers alike for decades. It was a tragedy and something of a shock to the general public when the legendary comedian took his own life.

When Robin Williams committed suicide five years ago, the world lost one of it’s brightest, most joyful presences. The loss we feel, of course, is nothing compared to what his family had to endure, including his eldest son Zak Williams.

 

View this post on Instagram

 

You’re a grown man now and I’m so proud of you. A little bit of you will always be my “Mr Pym”. Happy Birthday, @zakpym!

A post shared by therobinwilliams (@therobinwilliams) on

On May 22nd, via an exclusive report from People, Zak and his fiancee Olivia Williams welcome their first child, and Zak paid tribute to his late father with the name they chose. The 8lb baby is named McLaurin Clement Williams, which might not sound like a tribute to Robin until you learn that the unique “McLaurin” was Zak’s father’s middle name.

Zak’s sister, Robin’s daughter Zelda, posted photos of her nephew on Instagram, in which she reveals that McLaurin will go by “Mickey.”

Zak is an entrepreneur, but after his father took his own life, his son became a staunch mental health advocate as well. In the aftermath of his father’s death, when the actor, who had been diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease, it was revealed that some of his symptoms were also a result of diffuse Lewy body dementia.

In an excerpt from a biography of his father, printed in Vanity Fair after his dad’s passing, Zak expressed regret over not spending more time with Robin in those final few months

I’m kicking myself for not visiting him during that time. Because I think that was a very lonely period for him. In retrospect, I feel like I should have been there, spending time with him. Because someone who needs support was not getting the support he needed.

With the birth of his son and the use of McLaurin as his son’s name, Zak is paying sweet tribute to his father.