Jane Morris is the bestselling author of Teacher Misery. Every so often she curates a funny collection of student pieces for us at The Dad. You can catch up with her on Facebook.

The Thanksgiving holiday is a joyous time of year. In elementary schools across America students trace their hands and make them into turkeys and write down what they are thankful for. Most kids will think of their parents, their pets, their favorite toys, their friends etc. It is heartwarming to see. But there are always a few super honest kiddos who produce hilarious gems.

1. Sure David is blessed with his mommy, daddy and Sara. But Netflix really changed his life!

2. Lucy has a very advanced understanding of finances. I respect that.

3. I love that this child understands the lengths his mother goes to in order to keep him fresh and clean.

4. Isabella went existential with this one.

5. This child loves cats. She grew up loving them. They offer emotional support to keep her vices at bay.

6. Betrayed! Baby brothers are cool, but puppies are way better.

7. Believe me kid, parents are thankful for ’em too! It’s basically the only thing children eat.

8. So true. I have a new appreciation for toilet paper.

9. Perhaps we’re reading this wrong. Maybe this kid is thankful for quiet time to himself. It could be that it helps him clear the chaos he depicts?

For years, there were rumors of a third Ghostbusters movie, and every time, something prevented it from happening. That something, for a long time, was Bill Murray, aka Dr. Peter Venkman, aka one of the most beloved comic actors of the past 40 years. His deal with the studio prevented them from making a new Ghostbusters without his consent.

Murray wasn’t happy with the second Ghostbusters movie, and apparently didn’t think enough of the multiple ideas floated around for a third movie to ever give his blessing and move forward. So instead of a third movie featuring the original quarter of paranormal investigators, we got 2016’s non-sequel featuring four new (female, which angered a whole bunch of toxic fanboys and misogynists) actors.

Murray had a cameo in that film, as a totally different character. And a few months ago, Jason Reitman, son of the first movie’s director, Ivan Reitman, announced his own plans for a remake/reboot/sequel/who knows.

Ghostbusters fans, here’s a little surprise from the desk of @JasonReitman. #GB20 https://t.co/aQR59ODWhB pic.twitter.com/Q8Ze8sQo20

— Sony Pictures (@SonyPictures) January 16, 2019

Reitman’s version will also feature a whole new cast. But it takes place in the same universe as the original movie, and it sounds like Bill Murray might want to give it a go.

While promoting his appearance in the new Jim Jarmusch zombie movie, “The Dead Don’t Die,” Murray told IndieWire why he showed up in the all-female Ghostbusters, and let slip that he’d be willing to come back for the next one.

“I was in that movie just because they asked me, and I knew if I said no, I was saying I didn’t support that movie,” Murray explained. “I felt like, OK, I’m going to support them because I support them as people. So I did that one and I would do this next one.”

This is big news seeing as he was the monkey in the wrench of a sequel for years, but apparently, he’s come to terms with Peter Venkman.

“This franchise paid for my son’s college,” he said. “We made this thing. We are the caretakers of it. It’s a great thing and it was a really fun movie to make. It’s a real movie with some really funny stuff in it.”

They’re sure is. Here’s hoping Jason Reitman’s movie is even half as good as the 80s blockbuster. The odds definitely increase if Bill Murray is involved.

And what does OG Ghostbuster Dan Aykroyd have to say about all this? He recently told 660 News:

“Ivan Reitman’s son Jason has written a beautiful script, I can’t say too much about it but it’s going to get made and hopefully there’ll be some familiar faces. … It’s so different from even the first and second [movies]. This just takes it to a new generation and a new direction that is so warm, heartfelt and, indeed, quite scary when you confront some of the issues that are being discussed.”

He also revealed that he’s written a 1960s era prequel that he’s submitted to Jason Reitman. It follows the teenage years of parapsychologists Venkman, Spengler and Stantz.

Looks like big things are on the horizon when it comes to busting.

No one loves you like your mom loves you.

A mother’s love truly knows no bounds. From the day you’re born until the last day of her life, your mother’s children come first, and they will always be her babies. It’s the reason my mom still waits up for me when I visit home and go out with my wife. I’m in my forties, but I’m still her little boy.

And that’s nothing compared to one mom in Liverpool, England. Ada Keating is 98 years old, and her son is 80, and she’s still taking care of him as if he were still a baby.

Ada never married, and the pair have always lived together, until Tom moved into the Moss View Care Home in 2016, due to his need for extra care. But no extra care can match a mother’s TLC, so Ada followed him to Moss View a year later.

A former auxiliary nurse, Ada wanted to help look after her son.

“I say goodnight to Tom in his room every night and I’ll go and say good morning to him,” Ms. Keating, told the Liverpool Echo.

Mr. Keating is happy at his Moss View home and appreciates having his mother around. “They’re very good here and I’m happy to see my mum more now she lives here.”

Philip Daniels, who manages Moss View, is more than happy to accommodate the mother-son duo. “It’s very rare to see mothers and their children together in the same care home and we certainly want to make their time together as special as possible.”

As for Ada, her motivation is simple.

“When I get back he’ll come to me with his arms outstretched and give me a big hug. You never stop being a mum.”

With the celebration of Game Boy’s 30th anniversary this year, a lot of gamers have been reminiscing about their glory days on the delightful grey brick. Some, like ROM hacker Iván Delgado (@toruzz), even went as far as to revamp old classics—in this case, Super Mario Land.

Since Nintendo has never officially released an updated ‘DX’ version of the 1989 classic platformer, Delgado took some creative liberties and finally brought some color to the somewhat bizarre environment of Sarasaland.

He even gave the mustachioed plumber a facelift, redesigning the sprites for both Mario and Daisy to match their new vibrant surroundings.

As impressive as the changes are, fans are split regarding how it affects actual gameplay. Some love the changes while others comment that the new sprites cause problems with collision detection.

Considering this is simply a fan-made remake, everyone seems to be in agreement that Delgado has done something truly special to honor the game though, injecting a bit of life into a classic that sits proudly in our nostalgia centers.

The real question is, how does it stack up against the 2017 DX remake of Super Mario Land 2: 6 Golden Coins?

As a parent, it’s important to teach your children to be aware of their surroundings, steer clear of strangers and most importantly: if you see something, say something.

These are lessons we share with our kids in an attempt to keep them safe and to make sure that would-be creepers are brought to the attention of authorities.

However, one dad recently learned an important lesson of his own: Make sure your kids recognize you.

The father shared his story on Reddit’s “Today I Fucked Up” page.

His two boys noticed something at their school and as they’d be instructed to do, notified their dad about it.

“Over the course of the last week, my twin 7-year-old sons started telling me about a creepy man who sat in the parking lot at school and stared at them,” he wrote. “This morning, I finally took the initiative and called the school. They assured me that the situation would be handled.”

Feeling as though the school would address the leering stranger, the dad headed to work for the day.

“I’ve been doing electrical repairs on a facility near my sons’ school, and each day I park my work van in the school parking lot to eat lunch and use the WiFi. I wave to my sons as they go from one building to the building housing the cafeteria for lunch.”

Yes, you’ve probably figured out what the dad hadn’t quite pieced together yet.

TIFU by reporting a pervert to the School my sons go to. from tifu

“If you’re realizing that I’m the ‘pervert’ I reported, congratulations, you’re officially sharper than me. I didn’t realize it until 3 police cars surrounded my work van.”

Due to his hardhat, sunglasses, and unfamiliar vehicle, the boys never realized it was him.

One comment on the post speaks for most of us:

“After about a 30 minute conversation with the police and the principal, they decided I was a harmless moron and decided to let me go. I was, however, asked not to park my van there for lunch anymore.”

The post now has over 115k upvotes on reddit and the comments are all extremely commenty:

It sounds like everyone involved learned a very important lesson: reddit is still extremely entertaining.

You probably don’t need an excuse to go grab a few beers, but here’s a good one.

British brewing company Carling has recently introduced a brand new pint glass designed to remedy a prevalent pub predicament.

The new glass – thinner at the bottom and with vertical grooves in the middle – will make carrying up to four pints back to your table a whole lot easier.

No one wants to make two trips or spill half the beer. These new interlocking glasses make those pitfalls a thing of the past thanks to what can only be assumed was decades of highly scientific research.

When carried together, the cups stay put thanks to the glass groves and even get an assist from the company’s embossed logo.

Miranda Osborne, Brand Director at Carling, said the company hopes the new glasses make trips from the bar a much more comfortable experience.

“We know our customers can feel uncomfortable leaving drinks on the bar because they can’t carry them all, so we wanted to design something that could help alleviate this problem. This is why we created our new easy carry glasses.”

Many companies have released groovy looking glasses over the years, however, Carling claims their new “easy carry” version is “the perfect glass for the perfect pint,”, a claim we plan on investigating post haste.

While you’re probably already rounding up a few buddies to go check it out, you may have to wait a while for the glass to make an appearance here in the US.

However for readers in the UK, the company has said these new glasses will be available soon at several locations including Wetherspoons, Greene Kings and Mitchells & Butlers – honestly, all of which sound made up to me but so do most things from across the pond.

Either way, chips, chips and cheerios and spot on, Carling!

Cheers!

With retro and handheld consoles really hitting their strides in the last year, it’s no surprise that other video game companies would try to get a piece of that nostalgia-filled pie, too.

That being said, there’s an upcoming handheld created by game company Evercade that’s aiming to scratch that retro itch that everyone seems to have lately.

This system is going full throwback, too. Featuring a cartridge-based system and Famicom-esque design aesthetic, it looks like it was pulled directly out of the late-80s. Fortunately, the actual specs are a little more modern.

The Evercade features a 3.4-inch screen comparable to the PlayStation Portable and the ability to output to a TV via HDMI, similar to the Nintendo Switch. You’ll even have the option to change screen resolutions on the fly, switching between widescreen 16:9 format or the original 4:3.

Until recently, not much was known about what kinds of titles would be playable on the system, but Evercade has since announced their first publisher to jump on board: Atari.

Their first cartridge will feature 20 classic Atari games including Centipede, Tempest, and Ninja Golf (yes, that is golf with frickin’ ninjas, y’all).

There’s no solid release date for the system yet but we do know that there will be two separate bundles available: the Standard edition which comes with one cartridge for $79.99, or the Premium version with three cartridges for $99.99. It’s unlikely that the Evercade will be much of a competitor to the Nintendo Switch, but given its strong focus on retro games, there’s no reason why their fan bases can’t overlap.

You can stay up to date on future Evercade news by visiting their website here.

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You ain’t never seen a love like mine 🧞‍♂️

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Nothing changes a relationship like the arrival of a baby. Never mind the lack of sleep, the increase in stress, the sheer amount of stuff. Caring for a newborn, a toddler, a preschooler, a teenager is hard! There’s a reason most people try to tackle it in twos.

But even couples struggle, and becoming a parent with your partner can often cause issues in your own relationship. What happens when one of you doesn’t pull your weight? Some enterprising couples are trying out a new solution to those potential problems by creating contracts via which they divide parenting duties.

According to a recent article in PARADE Magazine, they’re being called “Baby-Nups,” similar to the prenuptial agreement a couple might sign before they get married.

The article quotes Melissa Biggs, a lobbyist from Connecticut. “I remembered how exhausting and stressful it all was when we had our daughter, especially since I was breastfeeding and a lot fell on me.” So she created a chart to make sure it was a more equal division of labor.

Baby-Nups focus on expectations around disciplinary techniques, schooling, and spousal responsibilities. Sometimes they’re often just informal agreements or even simple chore charts, they are becoming increasingly popular ways for couples to make sure everything gets done. And not just by one of them.

If anyone has an opinion on this concept, it’s parents on social media, and they didn’t disappoint.

Some users thought dealing with all this stuff was just part of having kids:

It’s called being a parent. Either embrace every good, bad, wonderful, and annoying thing that comes with it, or don’t have kids. pic.twitter.com/8Vkzws6I4q

— Heather Montz (@heatherdani85) April 24, 2019

Others thought the concept of adding contracts to parenthood defeated the purpose of the partnership:

Pretty sad state of Parenthood when you start adding contracts. Why breed in the first place?

— crzbaby four-twenty (@CRZBABY420) April 24, 2019

Sad that marriage has risen to this state. If you need an agreement about baby chores you should rethink becoming parents.

— vickie (@sbcodezs) April 24, 2019

Some called into question the suitability of your mate:

A prenup is to help solve/avoid problems with couples who hate each other
Seems like if you have to make your husband sign this, there’s a problem. And should they really be having a baby with him?

— JenL (@JJlorimer5) April 24, 2019

Brianna Manz, the NYC-based blogger behind Stroller in the City, created an organizational chore chart version of a prenup, but she admitted to CBS that it basically comes down to communication.

“I know it’s not written or even spoken about with Jason and I, it actually just works,” she said. “If parents just talk about it, it would work even better.”

What do you guys think? Would you sign a Baby-Nup?

Pack away those sweaters and grab your cargo shorts – Warmer weather is on the way! While the change in season brings sunshine and milder temperatures, it also comes with a few caveats.

Seasonal allergies, spring cleanup and one of nature’s smallest but most dangerous species: the tick.

Ticks are most active during warmer months, however, exposure can occur year-round.

Besides being nature’s little vampire, ticks can carry many viruses, bacteria, and infections that can all be transmitted via a single bite.

Tick-borne infections are zoonotic — meaning they are passed from animals to humans. Similar to pests like mosquitos and fleas, ticks acquire diseases from rats and other small animals that they can then pass on to humans.

In addition, they carry on all of the infections inherited from their parents, meaning these tiny little SOBs could be potentially riddled with everything from Lyme disease to… well… some shit even scientists haven’t heard of before. Yikes.

So what can you do?

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has a few tips to help prevent exposure in the first place:

Know where to expect ticks.
Ticks live in grassy, brushy, or wooded areas, or even on animals. Spending time outside walking your dog, camping, gardening, or hunting could bring you in close contact with ticks. Many people get ticks in their own yard or neighborhood.

Treat clothing and gear with products containing 0.5% permethrin.
Permethrin can be used to treat boots, clothing and camping gear and remain protective through several washings. Alternatively, you can buy permethrin-treated clothing and gear.

Use Environmental Protection Agency (EPA)-registered insect repellents
EPA’s helpful search tool can help you find the product that best suits your needs.

While prevention is great, preparedness is even better.

Instead of panicking in the event you find a tick on you or your child – trying to google that tick removal video you saw on Facebook – why not make a tick kit right now?

What’s a tick kit you ask? Simple: a pair of tweezers, alcohol swabs, a few index cards to take notes, a Sharpie, and some clear tape tossed together in a Ziploc bag.

Sounds simple enough. You can even get fancy with these tick tweezers. Otherwise, you likely already have all these things just sitting around. But why add the frustration of looking for them in an emergency?

According to the CDC, if you find a tick attached to your skin, there’s no need to panic—the key is to remove the tick as soon as possible.

Avoid folklore remedies such as “painting” the tick with nail polish or using heat to make the tick detach from the skin. Your goal is to remove the tick as quickly as possible–not waiting for it to detach.

How to remove a tick

1. Use fine-tipped tweezers to grasp the tick as close to the skin’s surface as possible.
2. Pull upward with steady, even pressure. Don’t twist or jerk the tick; this can cause the mouth-parts to break off and remain in the skin.
3. After removing the tick, thoroughly clean the bite area and your hands with rubbing alcohol or soap and water.
4. Never crush a tick with your fingers. You can dispose of a live tick by putting it in alcohol, placing it in a sealed bag/container, wrapping it tightly in tape, or flushing it down the toilet.

However, it’s a good idea to hold on to the dead tick with a few notes just in case you develop symptoms a few days or weeks later. This will help your physician identify the type of tick and have important information such as the date of the site and the location where it happened.

Tape the dead tick to an index card and write down as much information as possible.

Websites such as TickReport.com can even test these specimens. The tests are not intended to be a substitute for disease testing in humans, nor should the results be interpreted as providing a diagnosis. Personal information is kept in strict confidence, but the results of your tick test are made publicly available for people to see where ticks are found, when they are biting people, and what disease-causing microbes they are transmitting.

Now that you’ve removed and cataloged the little sucker, monitor the bite area closely. Symptoms are not always immediate and can present up to 30 days from the initial bite.

If you’re unable to remove the tick or you’re concerned there may be an infection, head to the nearest urgent care center or call your physician immediately.

While this all may sound like overkill, it’s better to be safe than sorry. Many of us have life insurance and health insurance. What’s wrong with a little tick insurance?

So don’t wait – make the kit. Right now!

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