Spend Less Time Prepping and More Time Relaxing With This Canned Christmas Dinner

Whether itâs a normal holiday surrounded by family or a quarantine holiday surrounded by your best animals and house plants, one thing is certain: the worst part of any festivity is all the preparation. Spending your precious time off chopping and mixing and cooking is far from the relaxing holiday break you deserve, and cooking is only one item on your seemingly endless to-do list.
Most days, but especially around the holidays, we would kill for a Back to the Future Hydrator that essentially poofs freshly-baked food out of nowhere (which should be a reality at this point, given that the âfutureâ part of the movie was in fact 2015). But alas, there is no magic food machine, unless you count the car that shows up with your Uber Eats order. Fortunately, for the lazy and the overwhelmed who still want to deliver a full holiday meal, thereâs the Christmas Tinner.
The Christmas Tinner is exactly what it sounds like – a nine-layer traditional Christmas dinner, all in a no-prep easy-to-eat tin (donât eat the tin). The layers are apparently so tightly-packed that they don’t mix in the can, so if you slice it horizontally, you can almost sort of turn this thing into a nine-course meal. Pick a few leaves off the nearest bush to make it look like youâve even got garnish.
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The layers are as follows: Scrambled eggs and bacon (perhaps this is Christmas day breakfast?), two mince pies, turkey and potatoes, gravy, bread sauce (??), cranberry sauce, some sort of green vegetable with stuffing, roast carrots and parsnips, and finally, Christmas pudding.
Now, we have good news and bad news. The bad news is that this Christmas Tinner first emerged in 2013 and quickly went viral due to its, well, everything. In a devastating blow to lazy folks everywhere, the tinner turned out to be a hoax designed by a British art director named Chris Godfrey. However, good news, the GAME website states that the Tinner is a reality, and due to its popularity, vegetarian and vegan options are now available (because if something already looks a little questionable, why not add tofu). Alternate good news, if it’s a hoax, you don’t have to eat it.
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It may very well be a publicity stunt geared towards gamers who canât be bothered to pause and cook a Christmas dinner, but because everyone needs something to believe in around the holidays (and Santa was already ruined for us), weâre going to choose to believe in the Christmas Tinner. Watch the video below to see a supposed taste test, scour the internet for Tinners that arenât yet sold out, or heck, make your own.