Everyone needs a distraction these days.
The real world is pretty depressing. We’re all stuck inside, avoiding the plague, staring at screens, wondering when life will go back to normal. Streaming is great, board games are fun, but sometimes you need something a little bit different.
Thankfully, there are some deranged people out there, and social media gives us a chance to experience their bizarre brand of creativity. One of those people is Adrian Gray, a comedian and writer whose insane Twitter story went viral over the weekend.
I found it when Bob Odenkirk retweeted it, calling it “brilliant,” and after reading it, you’ll probably agree.
It starts innocently enough, with a typical customer complaint about wifi service.
Hi @VeilBroadband. I have been having a series of problems with my wifi and have had no response from your customer service team via email. I will detail the problems here to see if I can get a response. Here’s a thread:
— Adrian Gray (@AdrianRMG) April 27, 2020
He shares some screenshots of his troubleshooting, and they’re normal at first. Until…
3. If I click on firewall and network settings I just get this weird symbol appear on my screen. pic.twitter.com/BcKYoLXZ7g
— Adrian Gray (@AdrianRMG) April 27, 2020
Okay. That’s weird. It gets weirder, as the symbol proliferates and apparently replaces all of the photos on his computer. The company responds, but now the symbol has emerged from the computer.
Okay the router now also has the symbol on it and when I try to move near it my muscles become incredibly weak so I have to retreat away from the router. Really annoying as I need wifi to work from home. What should I do? pic.twitter.com/38kgMtSiqU
— Adrian Gray (@AdrianRMG) April 27, 2020
Hi Lewis, thank you for your response. The symbol is everywhere in my house now. Likewise my internet connection is still very slow and cuts out if I try and stream video and sometimes music. https://t.co/ryCO06iL9J pic.twitter.com/gSxnOjKaEg
— Adrian Gray (@AdrianRMG) April 27, 2020
I can now see the symbols when my eyes are closed and the phrase ‘times’ up’ has appeared in blood on my wall. Though the apostrophe is after the ‘s’ so I’m kind of confused. How can multiple times be up??https://t.co/YJ4wp5aMdu pic.twitter.com/tSbJ8vzyJA
— Adrian Gray (@AdrianRMG) April 27, 2020
It turns out the company, Veil Broadband in the UK, actually has an explanation. Sort of.
— Adrian Gray (@AdrianRMG) April 27, 2020
Unfortunately, that’s not much help when your teeth are bleeding.
When I try and touch the symbol it just keeps screaming ‘please’. Also my teeth are bleeding. https://t.co/sffLxNEjcR pic.twitter.com/cpau7UMOZ2
— Adrian Gray (@AdrianRMG) April 27, 2020
That’s when the “boy” turns up.
Okay did that. Now this boy has turned up and is whispering in a weird languagehttps://t.co/mnLyBJiGEN pic.twitter.com/MJiCiOxDTc
— Adrian Gray (@AdrianRMG) April 27, 2020
Um.
He almost seems to be communicating with the symbols pic.twitter.com/ni8ySmgNfd
— Adrian Gray (@AdrianRMG) April 27, 2020
You’d think a paying customer would get better service!
He’s in the corner shaking and whispering. Would appreciate some technical support please – I pay a lot for my broadband package pic.twitter.com/DhxuCBCTf4
— Adrian Gray (@AdrianRMG) April 27, 2020
The story suddenly takes a bizarre tangent of a different sort as the boy turns on en episode of Friends and the customer service representative doesn’t seem to understand what a sitcom or actors are.
I think you still haven’t understoodhttps://t.co/x0DulmBZya
— Adrian Gray (@AdrianRMG) April 27, 2020
After that it’s back to the supernatural terrors at hand. (I have this same reaction to Gunther.)
The boy has finished watching friends (he was violently sick as soon as Gunther appeared) and is trying to get my phone off me. He keeps trying to grab it pic.twitter.com/IyavWxw6WQ
— Adrian Gray (@AdrianRMG) April 27, 2020
The company has an explanation for the boy too, and, again, it is unhelpful.
Okay well I’m trying but he’s really stronghttps://t.co/mX2liHNeyW
— Adrian Gray (@AdrianRMG) April 27, 2020
In a series of alarming photos, Adrian struggles with the boy…
— Adrian Gray (@AdrianRMG) April 27, 2020
And loses. The boy then becomes obsessed with BBC newscaster Hugh Edwards? I told you this was deranged!
I LOVE MR HEEAW pic.twitter.com/Pa1QsG4ogE
— Adrian Gray (@AdrianRMG) April 27, 2020
Finally, Adrian vanquishes the boy and the problem is resolved.
Great, thank you. Try not to make it an endbrain one this time lol. Is there anything I can do before it arrives? I have no wifi stillhttps://t.co/Fnlt35i6VR
— Adrian Gray (@AdrianRMG) April 27, 2020
For now…
— Adrian Gray (@AdrianRMG) April 27, 2020