Like an omnipresent deity or artificial intelligence run by a multibillion-dollar tech company, children are always listening.

Unfortunately for U.S. Marine and new dad James LaPorta, some parents have to learn this lesson the hard way.

In a video posted to Twitter, James’ two-year-old son can be heard dropping the F-bomb so many times, it would make Samuel L. Jackson blush.

As a former U.S. Marine, now a father, there is perhaps one word I should try to cut out of my vernacular around my soon to be 2-year-old. ???? pic.twitter.com/HSQZN7bHVn

— James LaPorta (@JimLaPorta) September 27, 2017

“As a former U.S. Marine, now a father, there is perhaps one word I should try to cut out of my vernacular around my soon to be 2-year-old,” LaPorta tweeted.

The video focuses solely on James sitting in the front seat, his expressions progressing from shock to embarrassment to complete resignation, while his potty-mouthed son exclaims the f-word literally 26 times.

“I have been trying really hard to be mindful, but sometimes it’s the best word for multiple situations,” James wrote in the tweet mentions.

The video has accrued just shy of 399k views and has been retweeted over five thousand times with many of the commenters either relating to the toddler’s crude exclamations or reminding the regretful dad that kids do indeed hear everything, especially the things you don’t want them to.

“If I didn’t know it before, I do now,” James assures them.

HBO is sitting pretty right now. Sure, some of their shows have been delayed due to COVID (come back, Succession!), but with the launch of HBO Max and the news that 2021 will be filled with movie premieres – from Wonder Woman to Dune to The Matrix 4 and more – they shouldn’t be wanting for new content.

And then there’s this: more Game of Thrones is coming.

Maybe not in 2021, but soon, especially now that we know the much-anticipated prequel is ready to begin in production!

Yesterday, the official Game of Thrones Twitter account tweeted out the news that House of the Dragon, the Westeros set prequel that takes place centuries before the original series and focuses on the reign of the Targaryen family, will actually get rolling in 2021.

Dragons are coming.#HouseoftheDragon begins production in 2021. pic.twitter.com/Bxl763FVdY

— Game of Thrones (@GameOfThrones) December 3, 2020

Not much is known about the show yet – we’ve covered the tidbits here and there, including some casting calls that gave hints about potential characters – but anyone who’s read George R.R. Martin’s books knows that there’s plenty of exciting material to mine.

We do know that Paddy Considine (Hot Fuzz, The Bourne Ultimatum, recently seen on HBO’s limited series The Third Day and The Outsider) landed the lead role of King Viserys I, the father of Rhaenyra and Aegon II and the ruler of House Targaryen some 300 years before Daenerys arrived.

He’s described as “a warm, kind, and decent man” who “only wishes to carry forward his grandfather’s legacy.” As we know, “good men do not necessarily make for great kings.” Just ask Ned Stark.

Shooting should begin very soon. Pray to the gods that we get this show before the end of 2021!

COVID or not, the festive season is upon us. The temperature’s dropping, tiny lights brighten even the darkest streets, and honestly, it feels good. As with any event involving gifts and/or sweets, kids pick up the scent like a bloodhound hot on the tail of their prey. They’re amped up, as they should be. Despite the countless curveballs this year has thrown, the holidays are a time for celebration – not even a pandemic is getting in the way of that. Fortunately, the parents of Twitter are here once again with their most hilarious takes to dampen the pre-holiday stress, and we’ve rounded up 12 of our favorites just for you.

HapPre-Holidays!

Just imagining it did the trick

If you’re ever feeling down and need a good laugh, try and teach a toddler how to wink.

— WTFDAD (@daddydoubts) November 28, 2020

We’re hovering around 10% festive

Wow, my kids are decorating the heck out of this small lower left section of our Christmas tree.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) November 28, 2020

It’s a beautiful thing

Being a parent is literally just replacing the toilet paper roll and cleaning up messes that don’t belong to you repeatedly until you die

— Crockett🍀 (@CrockettForReal) December 2, 2020

At least once they’re asleep, it’ll be a good 3-4 hours before they need a glass of water

Sorry I’m late for work I’ve been trying to put my child to bed for 37 hours

— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) December 1, 2020

Progress is progress

If you’re looking for a good news story, today my 3 year old got out the bath to have a poop in the toilet

— threetimedaddy (@threetimedaddy) November 28, 2020

Well why did you tell her if she already knew

My 5yo has full on reached the “I know” stage whenever I tell her something. Please respect our privacy during this difficult next 25 years or so.

— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) November 29, 2020

There’s no coming back from that

I was teaching my son to read and he asked me how to spell “momma.” Not sure if my wife preferred “mama,” I paused and said, “I don’t know, I’ll ask mom.” After that we practiced DOG, CAT, and RUN, and after each word he’d ask if I was sure or if I wanted to check with my wife.

— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) November 30, 2020

Wise beyond their years

6-year-old: It’s time for pizza.

Me: It’s the middle of the afternoon.

6: The pizza doesn’t know.

— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 29, 2020

To be fair, this would also work on me

If you want to piss off a toddler just tell him he’s tired.

— Dude-Bro Dad (@thedadvocate01) December 1, 2020

The hunter and its prey

My 4yo talked me into buying a bag of cookies at the store then kept holding it up to other customers like it was a belt he’d won in some sort of prizefight and now that I think about it that’s exactly what it is

— Richard Dean (@dad_on_my_feet) December 2, 2020

Works every time

KID911: wats ur emergency

SON: corn is touching my potatoes

KID911: take a deep calming breath

SON: ok

KID911: now throw it on the floor!

— *sigh*clops (@aotakeo) November 30, 2020

Peppa is over 7 ft tall, that’s honestly incredible

Grew up listening to Indian mythology. Stories with demons, death and gory violence, and here I’m protecting my 5YO from Peppa Pig

— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) December 3, 2020

Did you miss last week’s funniest parenting tweets?

“I’m an ER Nurse… my job is exhausting most times.

My patients show up on the worst day of their life, sometimes it is the beginning of one’s life and the end of another’s. Sometimes I worry that when I’m at work, my son Keagan isn’t getting enough nurturing, enough snuggles.

I’m upset that I miss bedtime, our snuggle time, but then, I log in to the Nest cam when I have a minute at work and see this… my son deserves snuggle time from his daddy too… it makes work a bit easier knowing he gets this no matter who puts him to bed.

My husband is a US Marine. He literally gives 100% at work and for his country, and 100% at home to his family and me. There will never be enough words, enough thank you’s from me to him.

I’m lucky, I’m grateful, and I’m happy… even when he drives me nuts!”

– Ainne McAllister

Want to share a story about fatherhood? Email [email protected]

We’ll never grow tired of watching celebrities use their fame and fortune for good. If there’s anyone who’s fully embodied the spirit of giving back, it’s Deadpool star and all-around sweetheart, Ryan Reynolds. Reynolds is generous with his financial donations, and his generosity with his time further demonstrates his compassion for others. Reynolds uses his privileged position to brighten the lives of his fans, his crew, and anyone lucky enough to cross his path.

This time, giving back is a family affair for Ryan Reynolds and his wife of eight years, Blake Lively. Canadian-born Reynolds has always had a soft spot for his home country, supporting a number of Canadian charities over the years. Most recently, Reynolds and Lively made a generous donation to Covenant House, an organization that supports homeless, at-risk, and trafficked youth. In total, the couple donated $500,000 to the incredible organization – $250,000 to Covenant House Vancouver, and $250,000 to the center’s Toronto location.

“Ryan and Blake truly understand that young people who are facing homelessness deserve unconditional love and absolute respect,” Krista Thompson, CEO of Covenant House Vancouver said in a press release. “Their generous donation and compassionate support mean so much to Covenant House and we are truly grateful for their continued friendship. Just like Ryan and Blake, we hope this gift highlights the value of each and every youth; and inspires others to open their hearts to those struggling with the crisis of homelessness.”

In normal times, the work Covenant House does is extremely taxing. Taking in youth who have fled unsafe situations, who often come in with severe trauma, is a monumental feat. Without safe havens like Covenant House, those who walk through their doors would have little chance at the security and support it takes to recover from their trauma. Reynolds and Lively encourage others to donate as well, and an Instagram post by the organization explains that donations will be matched through the month of December.

 

View this post on Instagram

 

A post shared by Covenant House Vancouver (@covenanthousebc)

According to the Covenant House website, the services they provide are extensive. While Covenant House operates as a crisis shelter with transitional housing, they also provide counseling, health care, education, job training, and so much more to 16-24-year-olds regardless of their backgrounds. Ultimately, Covenant House provides every individual they serve with a much-needed sense of security, and perhaps more importantly, a sense of hope.

“They do the work of heroes,” Reynolds said. “For us, helping Covenant House this way isn’t a donation, but an investment in compassion and empathy; something the world needs more of. The young people who pass through the doors of Covenant House more often than not have a story marked by extraordinary trauma. They are so much more than that trauma. They have so much to offer the world. Matching this gift is saying you believe in them. You believe in the power of compassion to transform the trajectory of a human being.”

It seems the tide has finally turned.

After a year of trying to figure out what to do with their blockbusters during the pandemic, which resulted in a mixed bag of approaches from various studios, including some movies being released into theaters, some movies being available on streaming for a fee, and many movies being pushed to 2021, Wonder Woman changed everything.

Last month, Warner Bros made the decision to release Wonder Woman to both theaters and HBO Max on the same day, and apparently, they’ve decided to move forward with that approach for every other movie they’re releasing in 2021.

This means that Dune, Matrix 4, and everything else on their 2021 slate (which, as of now, includes “The Little Things,” “Judas and the Black Messiah,” “Tom & Jerry,” “Godzilla vs. Kong,” “Mortal Kombat,” “Those Who Wish Me Dead,” “The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It,” “In The Heights,” “Space Jam: A New Legacy,” “The Suicide Squad,” “Reminiscence,” “Malignant,” “The Many Saints of Newark,” “King Richard,” and “Cry Macho”) will hit theaters and HBO Max on the day of their release. No specific release dates have been made available as of yet.

“We’re living in unprecedented times which call for creative solutions, including this new initiative for the Warner Bros. Pictures Group,” WarnerMedia Chair and CEO Ann Sarnoff said in a statement statement “No one wants films back on the big screen more than we do. We know new content is the lifeblood of theatrical exhibition, but we have to balance this with the reality that most theaters in the U.S. will likely operate at reduced capacity throughout 2021.”

This news is a double-edged sword for movie fans. On one hand, it will be amazing, convenient, and cheap to have access to these films in their living rooms, especially for those who already have an HBO Max subscription. On the other hand, this is terrible news for those who enjoy the movie theater experience, – especially for huge superhero movies like Wonder Woman 1984 and The Suicide Squad, and big sci-fi action flicks like the Matrix sequel and Dune – as it’s likely to further reduce revenue for an industry that has already been flattened by the pandemic.

They’re trying to spin this as good news for theaters, which, if they’re even open in 2021, may face audiences reluctant to gather inside them.

“With this unique one-year plan, we can support our partners in exhibition with a steady pipeline of world-class films, while also giving moviegoers who may not have access to theaters or aren’t quite ready to go back to the movies the chance to see our amazing 2021 films,” Sarnoff continued. “We see it as a win-win for film lovers and exhibitors, and we’re extremely grateful to our filmmaking partners for working with us on this innovative response to these circumstances.”

So far this hybrid model is exclusive to Warner Bros; no word on whether other studios will do something similar (not every studio has its own streaming service). 2021 is going to be an interesting year for movies, and could well set the course for a future of in-home entertainment from which the multiplex experience never recovers. But as 2020 has shown us, life is unpredictable.

At least we’ll have some exciting movies to watch while we wait to see how it shakes out.

Fortnite’s Chapter 2: Season 5 kicked off this week and with it has arrived one of the most beloved bounty hunter dads in the galaxy.  Sorry, no, it’s not ‘Jeans Guy’ (but maybe he’ll show up at some point).

Disney +’s insanely popular The Mandalorian made his debut and he looks very slick.  The good news is you’ll unlock him immediately with the purchase of the new Zero Point Battle Pass.  The bad news is if you want to unlock The Child (aka Baby Yoda) to follow you around, you’re going to have to hit level 100 in the Battle Pass.  That’s gonna take some time.

With this new bounty hunter themed Fortnite season, there comes an additional six original characters to unlock in the Battle Pass, new areas to explore on the island, weapons to use (like Mandos Sniper Rifle), and quests and bounties to complete for rewards.

My kids and I go through Fortnite “phases” where certain seasons of the game hold our attention while others don’t, but so far we’re having a blast with this new one.  The squad is back together, we’re working on our first Season 5 Victory Royale, and things are looking promising.  If it doesn’t hold their attention for as long as it takes me to unlock that adorable little Yoda lookalike though, well, I’m just gonna have to fly solo as Mando does.  This is the way.

You can download it here and if don’t want to fly solo, definitely be sure to check out The Dad Gaming and The Dad Gaming – Fortnite on Facebook to join up with others!

Just a heads up, if you buy stuff using the provided links, The Dad may collect a small commission.

2020 is the gift that keeps on giving… and taking away.

We had murder hornets until we didn’t (seriously, when was the last time someone mentioned them?). We had a parallel universe until we didn’t. We even had a mysterious monolith, until we didn’t.

Today we bring you news of a disappearing monolith of another kind, and hopefully, this one won’t be coming (back) anytime soon.

Fresh on the heels of the silver monolith showing up in Utah, then vanishing, only for a similar one to appear in Romania, and then California, a different erection has made the news. This one was in Germany.

Four years ago, someone inexplicably planted a 6-foot wooden penis on Grünten Mountain in Bavaria, Germany. It became a landmark for tourists and hikers and perverts (probably?); it even appeared on Google Maps! At least it did, until earlier this week when it vanished.

According to the German paper, Allgäuer Zeitung police are attempting to locate the lost erection.

This isn’t the first time there have been shenanigans with the shaft; apparently, it was knocked over back in November, but maybe it had just gotten old and tired.

Many think the enormous wang was placed there as a prank by college students, but what was once a funny joke has now become an actual beloved photo opportunity, and everyone wants it back.

May I suggest sprinkling some Viagra on the ground?

It’s baaa-aaack!

For the past week or so, many of us have been captivated by the saga of the silver monolith. It first appeared in Utah, this strange silver structure that was just sticking out of the ground. People hardly had a chance to compare it to the black monolith in Kubrick’s sci-fi classic 2001 before it suddenly disappeared. (The New York Times learned that some guys just took it down, though it seems like they were not involved in erecting it.)

Then, it suddenly reappeared. At least, a monolith just like it did, emerging on a hillside in Romania.

Speculation was rampant. Was it an art installation? An alien message? A prank like the giant woody in Germany? No one came forward to admit it was a Banksy-style guerilla art project, and no UFOs descended to claim ownership of this strange piece of metal.

And now there’s a third monolith. This time, in California!

NEW: Mysterious monolith appears in Atascadero, California pic.twitter.com/aPJxe0U13X

— Norbert Elekes (@NorbertElekes) December 3, 2020

A hiker on Pine Mountain in Atascadero, California stumbled upon it on Wednesday morning. It’s ten-feet tall and looks just like the other two: stainless steel, about 10 feet tall. Also, like the other two, there are no clues as to who or what put it there.

🚨 🚨 BREAKING NEWS 🚨 🚨

There is currently a monolith at the top of Pine Mountain in Atascadero!!

(Photos by @Atownreporter) pic.twitter.com/0vPhEWYkeY

— Connor Allen (@ConnorCAllen) December 2, 2020

Unlike the other two, this one is merely standing on the ground, as opposed to being dug into it, according to Atascadero News perhaps the aliens were interrupted before they could finish installing it.

A mysterious monolith has appeared in California after others were seen in Utah and Romania pic.twitter.com/zNGR7Jb2nv

— Reuters (@Reuters) December 3, 2020

The world will be watching to see if – and when? – this one disappears, and we’ll all be waiting to see if we get an explanation for these bizarre monoliths that are sprouting up across the globe.

One cynical tweeter already has a guess:

can we just cut to the end of this marketing campaign already https://t.co/QjHl2lcxpc

— Nathan Bernhardt (@jonbernhardt) November 30, 2020

I’m not sure if I’d be annoyed or relieved to learn this is all promotion for 2001 Part 3: The Monolith’s Revenge!

We are honored to announce The Dad of the Month for November 2020: John Kay. Since becoming a dad, John has exhibited a tangible excitement for fatherhood and a willingness to go above and beyond, even during a worldwide pandemic. His wife, Heather, couldn’t help gushing about him in her nomination:

“A good dad is hard to come by – John is the glue that holds it all together. He’s a one-of-a-kind dad. He was born for this. He embodies what every young boy needs in a father.

“We have a 2.5-year-old son named Hudson, who, thanks to his Dada, knows how to use mustard as a binder for meats when they BBQ on the Traeger. Hudson loves to read along to the book ‘Your Baby’s First Word Will Be Dada’ by Jimmy Fallon thanks to John’s wonderful impressions of animals! (Hudson’s dad also does a very good impression of Grover from Sesame Street.)

“John has worked throughout the pandemic. He manages transportation services and has been essential on the front lines, ensuring the public gets the goods they need. He comes home every day to help around the house, help with dinner, or pick up anything that’s needed. He volunteers to bathe our son every night and read him goodnight stories.

“He’s also a wrestling coach for a local high school and has taught our young son how to wrestle – he’s very good at it! The day we brought Hudson home from the hospital, John put pool noodles around every single hard surface in our home to make sure our new baby was totally safe! Looking back, it’s funny because now they wrestle and play WWE all the time!

“John has taken Hudson to every sporting event (pre-covid) and has also waited in lines for VIP meet and greets so that our son can meet famous hockey and baseball players! He’s is a wonderful dad and does it all with a smile on his face. He’s an excellent role model for our son and I am forever grateful that Hudson gets to have such an awesome father like John!”

To honor John and exuberance for fatherhood despite an incredibly difficult year, we’re giving him $500 and some special edition dad gear. John’s unfailing optimism, creativity, and excitement for life are exceptional attributes that we should all strive for. Cheers!

Click here to read more or nominate a special dad in your life.