It’s official – A Wisconsin city has made it illegal to throw snowballs.

Or at least that’s what was widely reported in the media due to Wausau’s municipal code:

No person shall throw or shoot any object, arrow, stone, snowball or other missile or projectile, by hand or by any other means, at any other person.

Wisconsin town has outlawed throwing snowballs https://t.co/toCv5c9xVJ pic.twitter.com/B91Ut5Z2VL

— New York Post (@nypost) December 4, 2019

Snowballs are officially on par with stones, arrows, and missiles when it comes to lethality, folks. To really make sure there are no grey areas, the ordinance goes on to specify that snowballs cannot be thrown “at, in or into any building, street, sidewalk, alley, highway, park, playground or other public places within the city.”

I guess that means this classic scene from the Christmas classic, Elf (2003), should come with a trigger warning now:

“It’s really in the interest of public safety,” Wausau Mayor Robert B. Mielke told WCCO in regards to the ruling, which he actually introduced years ago. “A lot of it is just consideration and common sense. You don’t throw stuff at people, period.”

Look, tossing snowballs in the wintertime is about as wholesome as it gets. Hell, I’d put my money on it being displayed in a Norman Rockwell painting somewhere. I’m all about keeping people safe, but this is, coincidentally, not cool at all.

The good news is that thanks to a video just released by Wausau Police Department, it looks like it was all one big misunderstanding!

Deputy Chief Matt Barnes is joined by Mayor Mielke to clear up some misconceptions about this story which seems to have snowballed out of control:

“This is my fiance josh holding our second daughter, Sophia.

He’s an exceptionally wonderful person, and an incredible father.

Aside from being an incredible dad, he also helps with my father who suffered a traumatic brain injury, making him suffer pretty severe paranoid delusions. He loves my dad with his whole heart, no matter how difficult he may be to love. He helps me cope with all of the responsibilities that come with having a family member with severe mental health issues.

He has taken on far more than I could have ever asked for, or expected, without complaints. Even dealing with all of this, and working a 9-to-5 job, he still makes time for his babies. He’s always making them laugh and smile and taking care of stuff most dads would deem mom work.

He’s truly amazing and I’m so lucky to call him mine.”

– Katie Ann Sennett

Want to share a story about fatherhood? Email [email protected]

Check out the previous editions of Father Figures here.

Imagine you’ve spent the last two months in space. You made history by being the first astronaut to travel to the International Space Station in a commercially-built spacecraft, and you’re finally back on Earth counting down the seconds until you can see your family. You’re bobbing up and down in the Gulf of Mexico after a successful splashdown, and the only thing left for you to do is kill time while the crew inspects your capsule. What do you do with that time? This was a question astronauts Robert L. Behnken and Douglas G. Hurley faced on Sunday as they became the first astronauts to travel to the International Space Station and back on SpaceX’s Crew Dragon Capsule. The choice was pretty easy for these dads – may as well make some prank calls.

During a Houston welcome-home ceremony, Hurley recalled, “Five hours ago, we were in a spaceship, bobbing around, making prank satellite phone calls to whoever we could get ahold of. Which was kind of fun, by the way,”

“Five hours ago we were bobbing around in a spacecraft making prank satellite phone calls to whoever we could get ahold of,” Doug Hurley said, in one of the best post-landing quotes ever. pic.twitter.com/MhlEW26O1g

— Christian Davenport (@wapodavenport) August 2, 2020

You don’t have to take Hurley’s word for it. Several people who were on the receiving end of the pair’s prank calls stepped forward to back his story. One of those people was Anthony Vareha, NASA’s 91st flight director. He stated on Twitter, “I received one of these calls at the flight director console. It started with an opening line like ‘Hi it’s Doug and Bob and we’re in the ocean.’ I think my response was ‘Yeah, I can see that.’”

I recieved one of these calls at the flight director console. It started with an opening line like “Hi it’s Doug and Bob and we’re in the ocean.” I think my response was “Yeah, I can see that.” https://t.co/Posn3RdQM9

— Anthony Vareha (@Enterprise_Flt) August 3, 2020

Megan McArthur, a NASA astronaut, and Behnken’s wife was another recipient of the unexpected phone call. She stated, “On my phone it said ‘Spam Risk’. Glad I answered anyway!” which is pretty unfair, considering how many times I’ve answered a “spam risk” call and never once has it been from an astronaut.

Exactly! On my phone it said “Spam Risk”. Glad I answered anyway! https://t.co/1WmMpQAL3P

— Megan McArthur (@Astro_Megan) August 3, 2020

After nine weeks in space, these NASA dads fully deserved to blow off some steam. Apparently, prank calls truly are the universal time-wasters. Next time you’re about to send a “spam risk” call to voicemail, maybe do a quick check to see what the people at NASA are up to that day.

There is something so pure about watching kids discover things for the first time. Whether it’s a type of food, an activity, or a song, seeing a kid learn something new and wonderful about the world is unparalleled. Without the reserved and often jaded filter that comes with adulthood, we’re left with the wide-eyed innocence of a child experiencing pure, uninhibited joy. Twins Tim and Fred Williams from Gary, Indiana recently filmed a video that gave us a much-needed dose of that pure, wide-eyed excitement.

The teens post YouTube videos where they react to songs as they hear them for the first time. Want to feel old? Head on over to their channel and watch them discover songs you’ve heard no fewer than 1,000 times. We (mostly) forgive them for making us feel like ancient beings because their videos are just so dang wholesome.

Last week, the twins filmed their reactions as they listened to Phil Collins’ “In the Air Tonight” for the very first time, and let me tell you, they were into it. The second Collins started to sing, Tim threw his hand over his heart so quickly it seemed involuntary. The video continues as the twins bop their heads to the beat, and we all waited breathlessly for the iconic drum fill. The boys’ reactions did not disappoint – Tim gasps, both teens’ mouths drop and their eyes go wide as they soak it all in. After taking a few seconds to collect himself, Fred says, “I’ve never seen nobody drop the beat three minutes in the song!”

It’s easy to see why the internet has fallen so hard for this video. With over two million views in just a week, watching the teens listen to songs we love for the first time feels almost like we’re discovering them all over again. It’s reassuring that a generation who laughs at special effects in movies that were cutting-edge when we first saw them can still appreciate non-new (I’m not saying old. It’s not old. We’re not old) music that totally slaps.

Every month we pan for comedy gold in the comments section of our Facebook posts. If your comment cracks us up (or warms our hearts) we’ll showcase it here!

Here’s last month’s roundup of the 10 Best Comments:

1. Trippin’

2. Lying Gosling

3. Game Hair

4. Lettuce Laugh

5. Sneeze Power

6. Watts Up

7. Turn it Down

8. Guilt Trippin’

9. Mac Daddy

10. Twisted

Check out the previous edition of the best comments of the month here.

Let’s take a guess at what’s happening in your life right now. Did you get suckered into joining your company’s softball team? Or maybe you inadvertently signed up to coach your kid’s little league? Either way, in the era of dad, you’re suddenly remembering you’re not 20 years old anymore.

So, you’re asking yourself (read: The internet) how to throw a baseball harder. You know, as you did in the good ol’ days…whilst not immediately landing yourself on the injured reserve list. First, we’d like to leave you with one seriously important note: Accuracy is far more important than speed. Think of all the famous first pitches you’ve seen over the years. The ones that stick out the most are the ones that were lobbed twelve feet to the right of the pitcher. Not the ones that simply fell short.

However, if strength and speed are what you’re looking for, there are some simple steps you can take to make sure you ace your triumphant return to throwing a baseball.

Always Warm-Up

Starting your pre-game with a laid back, steadily increasing game of catch is the key here. You need to warm up your arm before you go balls to the wall during the game.

We get it. The last thing you want to do when you hit the gym is to spend 15 minutes doing a brisk walk on the treadmill. In that same light, the last thing you want to be seen doing is lackadaisical tossing around the ball pre-game. But, my dude, you’re going to have to do it. You’ve seen plenty of shots of million-dollar pitchers warming up in the bullpen.

Work On Your Form

Wanna end up in the hospital with a strained or torn rotator cuff? Nope. Just like when you’re playing golf with the boys, tossing a baseball is all about form, too. From where you place your feet to how you hold your shoulders, everything matters. Having the best posture and form will make a ton of difference in what kind of velocity you put into that pitch.

Pay Attention To The Release

There’s a ton of things to think about as you rock back and then push forward with your pitch. Once you perfect your posture, though, think about how you’re standing and when you’re releasing the ball. As the coach mentioned above, you pitch with your whole body and not just your arm. Moving your body behind the ball will give it more push forward. Furthermore, noting where you’re letting go of the ball is also important. If you release the ball too far back, you’re not giving the full push behind it and if you release it too late, you’re pushing the ball downward.

Run Some Drills

You’re already telling your kids how important it is to practice, practice, practice, right? Same goes for you, Pops. Drills are the absolute best way to perfect your form, keep your muscles warm, loose and, of course, increase the strength and speed of your pitch.

You Go Pro Baseball has ten easy, popular pitching drills to try. Our suggestion: Do several sets of 2 to 3 of these each night of the week. It shouldn’t take more than 5 to 10 minutes but over time will greatly improve your pitch and reduce your chance of having do visit Dr. James Andrews.

While some kids spend their days training to be Twitch streamers or hope to be record-breaking YouTubers, 8-year-old Greyson Winfield is working on a very different kind of dream. Instead of spending his days playing video games and watching TV like many kids his age, this young hero has a far more productive hobby. Greyson dreams of one day being a Navy SEAL, and to prepare, he spends his days making the world a better place. Greyson feeds the hungry in his spare time and mows the lawns of single moms and first responders so they have one less thing to take care of during their already packed days.

Greyson told CNN that aside from his dream of becoming a Navy SEAL, there are several other motivating forces in his life. Both of his parents are former firefighters, so Greyson grew up knowing the importance of helping others in his community. A slightly more unexpected role model for someone his age is none other than former president John F. Kennedy. Greyson explained, “helping others is the right thing to do. Also, JFK was in the Navy before becoming president and I want to follow his lead.”

Helping those in need is so important to Greyson that with his parents’ support and assistance, he started his own charity called Helping Footprint. The website explains, “Helping Footprint consists of two brothers on a mission to help the community. Founder, Greyson Winfield leads the way, with collecting gift cards to help those in need of food. He also saw the need to ensure seniors, differently-abled persons, single moms, veterans, and our busy first responders have their lawns cut for free.”

Though Greyson’s effort to help others is undoubtedly impressive, perhaps more incredible is his mindset. Greyson states, “I want to help people. There are other people who have nobody to help them and it’s the right thing to do.” Logically, we all know that helping people is the right thing to do, but the sad reality is that many of us don’t act on it as much as we should. Fortunately, the next generation seems to be in good hands with Greyson’s Helpful Footprint leading the way.

Like many kids who grew up in the 80s, I loved G.I. Joe.

I loved watching the cartoon and playing with the figures, most of whom were at my best friend’s house next door because his parents bought him every single toy in the world. I remember seething with jealousy when he got the massive G.I. Joe aircraft carrier for one of his birthdays.

Eventually, I grew up and forgot about all of this angst over Eric Pepe’s luck, and my parents’ refusal to go broke buying me action figures, but recently it all came rushing back when I heard the news: Hasbro was bringing their classic GI Joe figures back.

The news actually broke in June, when the toy company announced their G.I. Joe: Classified Series as part of their relaunch of the iconic GI Joe brand.

Their awesome new website has all the details, including the 50-year history of G.I. Joe and a list of all the characters that have been reimagined for this relaunch of 6-inch figures. The first six to be released are Duke, Scarlett, Snake Eyes, Roadblock, Destro, and Cobra Commander.

On top of the website and these new versions is Hasbro’s launch of G.I. Joe’s Retro Collection, which means I can go snatch up all action figures my next-door neighbor had in his playroom, complete with old school packaging. (Hasbro did the same thing with their Star Wars vintage line.) The first three being released are Snake Eyes, Storm Shadow, and Baroness.

You’ll be able to snatch them up at Walmart in October, provided Eric Pepe doesn’t get their first!

It’s impossible to imagine celebrating life’s most exciting milestones without those you love the most, but it’s something many of us have to face. Bindi Irwin, daughter of the world’s favorite Crocodile Hunter, has had to face this difficult reality time and time again after losing her dad at just 8 years old. Though Steve’s absence is undoubtedly felt by his family on a daily basis, they have done an amazing job over the years making sure to honor and commemorate him at every turn. Bindi was extremely close to her dad and has posted touching tributes to him on occasions like Father’s Day, her birthday, and even her engagement.

In the 14 years since Steve Irwin’s death, his memory hasn’t faded. To us, he will always be the Crocodile Hunter – a man with a big personality and an even bigger heart. To Bindi and Robert, he will always be their beloved dad. During Bindi’s wedding at the Australia Zoo, Steve’s blown-up picture was displayed right next to where the couple exchanged their vows giving the appearance that he was standing right next to Bindi’s brother and mom.

 

View this post on Instagram

 

Our wedding day. ❤️ Reflecting on these beautiful moments with the love of my life.

A post shared by Bindi Irwin (@bindisueirwin) on May 19, 2020 at 2:47pm PDT

Although Bindi’s wedding was several months ago, she recently received an extremely meaningful gift which she shared on her Instagram page. Artist Debb Oliver created a piece based on a picture taken on Bindi’s wedding day – but this talented artist gave the picture an incredibly special addition. Between Bindi and her mom Terri, Oliver added a beaming Steve. His arms appear to embrace his wife and daughter, and on his face is a look of pride and joy any dad would have on their daughter’s wedding day.

In Bindi’s Instagram post, her family holds the beautiful gift, looking down fondly as if they’re reminiscing over a fond memory – it’s extremely fitting, because to the Irwin family, it’s as if Steve was right there with them celebrating Bindi’s wedding. The photo is captioned, “‘To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die.’ ― Thomas Campbell. Thank you @the_monkey_brush for creating this spectacular piece.” The quote Bindi chose is the perfect embodiment of how the entire Irwin family has lived their lives since losing Steve. Although he is no longer here physically, to the Irwin family, he will never really be gone.

 

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“To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die.” ― Thomas Campbell 💙 Thank you @the_monkey_brush for creating this spectacular piece.

A post shared by Bindi Irwin (@bindisueirwin) on Aug 6, 2020 at 4:05pm PDT

Some of the best movies of all time revolve around superheroes who put their own well-being aside to help others. They risk everything, time and time again, to make sure the world is safe for the rest of us. We find reassurance in those stories, because though they are extreme, those heroes remind us that there is so much good in the world. There are real-life dad heroes, and they deserve to be recognized as such. Last Sunday, 36-year-old Jonathan Stevens died a hero while saving the lives of his children.

In a story so heartbreaking it’s truly hard to swallow, we see a real-life example of the infinite depths of a father’s love. Jonathan Stevens was visiting Barmouth beach in Wales with his family on Sunday when he noticed three of his children struggling in the water. As any dad would do, he rushed to save them. Thinking only about the well-being of his children, Stevens worked frantically to pull them to safety and out of the grips of the riptide. Even in the direst of situations, Jonathan Stevens didn’t forget for a single second that his goal was to protect his children, to make sure they were unharmed at all costs.

Jonathan did it – he did his job as a dad, making sure no harm came to his children. In a devastating twist that nobody could have anticipated, Jonathan himself was caught in the current. He was pulled from the water by a rescue team and airlifted to a nearby hospital in serious condition. Tragically, Jonathan passed away at the hospital.

34-Year-old Laura Burford, Jonathan’s partner, was home when this unimaginable situation unfolded. A relative provided North Wales Live with the heartbroken woman’s statement. “All seven of his beautiful kids have lost their dad. He died saving his kids’ lives in the sea,” Burford said. “There are no words to describe the pain. I will always be grateful to (him) for bringing our babies back. I love him, always have, and always will.”

A friend set up a GoFundMe to help support Jonathan’s family during this incredibly difficult time. The page states, “I’m Mel, a family friend, from Telford who set up this fund page to help this poor family who sadly lost Jonathan (Joff) whilst he was saving his children in the sea at Barmouth beach. The funds raised will go towards any funeral costs, to each of his 7 children to support and to have a memory gift from their Hero Father and to Laura to help along the way with any costs that may occur.”

Jonathan Stevens’ very last act was being a dad. He protected his children at all costs, bravely and selflessly putting their safety before his own. Jonathan Stevens died a hero.