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Pictures Prove Kids Hate Santa

By Ashley Love
(Twitter/kelleew)

Christmas is just around the corner and The Man in Red is sitting on his throne in every mall across the USA. And what could be more adorable than watching your kids have a magical experience with Santa? Nothing. But what could be FUNNIER than watching your kids have a terrifying encounter with that creepy, bearded, old guy? Also, kind of nothing.

RELATED: “Is Santa Real?” A Psychologist’s Case for Telling Kids The Truth – Fatherly

I know we shouldn’t laugh when we are probably facilitating the creation of formative trauma, but honestly whom amongst us can keep a straight face at these miniature humans having such giant emotions? I mean, they’re the ones who jumped up with excitement at the mention of meeting Mr. Claus in the first place, right? They’ve seen the movies. It’s not like they were unaware that the guy resembles that unkempt drunk dude who always hangs outside of the 7-11.

Have we ever considered that ‘Saint Nick’ sounds like something you’d ironically call that one uncle who has three DUIs?

And while we’re on the topic of criminal activity, you know what else is a misdemeanor? Breaking and entering. I don’t care that he’s bringing gifts, this whole premise is creepy as heck. I would probably panic too if I was forced to mingle with old Kris Kringle.

Here are a few other kids who were (rightfully) scared out of their minds to meet this guy.

Some kids are braver than others…

(Valerie Williams)

Poor younger siblings, being dragged to face down a demon in a red suit.

(Lauren Thomas)

This baby was straight-up horrified and her big brother tried to hold it together but the “WTF” is written all over his face.

(Stephanie Low)

“MERRY” Christmas, eh?

(Joel Willis)

This next one almost looks like a half decent encounter, until you look closer at her face. Ah yes, the Santa-induced death stare.

(Ashley Boyd)

My heart is pounding with the sheer intensity of the fight or flight response triggered in this next baby.

(Amber Sims)

And then there is the classic, dramatic reach for mom. “Why have you betrayed me like this, I trusted you!”

(Danny Hansen)

The smartest little escape artists know that the best technique is making your entire body straight and rigid like a board until he starts to lose his grip and you can just slide off.

(Michelle Moser)

And finally, this little one didn’t even make it within 50 feet of Santa before collapsing face-first into a pile of fake snow to hide from the world.

(Emily Boyd)

Suffice to say, Santa should give all of us the heebie-jeebies. It makes all the sense in the world that kids freak out when forced upon the Jolly Man’s lap. But all things considered, the traumatic trip to the mall is totally worth it for the hilarity that will ensue.

If you have pictures of your own Santa Fails, send them to us! We’d love to laugh along with you.

‘Jeans Guy’ Is The Mandalorian’s New Breakout Character

By Mark Chalifoux
Jeans Guy
(Twitter/SubCity_Comics)

Baby Yoda was the breakout star of season 1 of “The Mandalorian” on Disney+. He took over pop culture, becoming a cocktail and even a cereal, in addition to being a crazily in-demand toy. And now, season 2 of “The Mandalorian” has given us another breakout star: Jeans Guy.

Who is Jeans Guy? Where did he come from? These are stories we don’t have yet, that hopefully the rest of season 2 will fill in. The mysterious new character made his debut in episode 4 of season 2 and was spotted in the background of a shot of our heroes (the titular Mandalorian and his bounty hunting pals) shooting up an old Empire base. The crew member (or mysterious new character???) was spotted in the background of a shot and is clearly something that was missed in editing.

But the internet is having fun with it, as we should. Sub-city comics already turned the character into an action figure, which would probably be the hit of the Christmas season:

It quickly had fans reminiscing about perhaps the most famous editing snafu, the Starbucks cup that made it into an episode of Game of Thrones.

If you’re not an action figure collector, perhaps the Jeans Guy Lego set is more up your alley.

Jeans Guy quickly went viral, and as season 1, The Mandalorian would be served best by embracing it. They are currently working on the production of season 3, so hopefully, they are carving out a much larger role for mysterious Jeans Guy from the weird Empire base lab.

Also, having denim as official Star Wars canon opens up a ton of costume possibilities in future seasons.

And since we can’t see the face of Jeans Guy, it’s a possibility that it’s actually a character we’ve seen before in the Star Wars Universe.

With half of season 2 still ahead, we hoped to learn much more about Jeans Guy and how he fits into the Star Wars Universe. Sadly, it was recently announced that he was edited out of the episode.

RIP Jeans Guy, yet another casualty of 2020.

Alex Trebek Recorded an Inspiring Thanksgiving Message Before His Death

By Mark Chalifoux
Trebek Thanksgiving Message
(Twitter/Jeopardy)

We lost a true gem in Alex Trebek’s passing, but the iconic Jeopardy host recorded an inspiring Thanksgiving message in one of the last episodes he recorded. Our collection of new Trebek episodes is quickly dwindling, but his witty outtakes will always be are timeless.

One of the episodes he recorded before his passing aired on Thanksgiving, and it included an uplifting message we all could hear right now (a few times).

“You know, in spite of what America and the rest of the world is experiencing right now, there are many reasons to be thankful. There are more and more people extending helpful hands to do a kindness to their neighbors, and that’s a good thing.

“Keep the faith,” Trebek concluded. “We’re going to get through all of this, and we will be a better society because of it.”

It’s impossible to watch that without the room getting a little dusty, as we savor every last special message from Trebek, with each taking on new meaning and importance after his passing.

There’s a reason Trebek was so beloved, and there’s no question we could all take his message of helping one another, being thankful, and keeping the faith to heart right now, as we endure what’s supposed to be a difficult winter before turning the corner on our global pandemic.

Sealed Copy of Super Mario Bros 3. Breaks World Record by Selling for $156,000

By Yael Meshulam
Sealed Super Mario Bros. 3 Sells for Record-Breaking Price
(Heritage Auctions)

Collectors and fans of nostalgia alike clamor for unique pieces of memorabilia and rare consoles to fill their shelves and their hearts. I mean, there’s a reason that collectibles exist – we simply cannot get enough of the things we love.

The Super Mario franchise is one of many that has not only withstood the test of time but grown exponentially throughout the years. Though the franchise is undoubtedly excellent, a big part of what makes Super Mario so great is the nostalgia that comes with it. It reminds us of simpler times, and of the games, we fell in love with as kids. The people at Nintendo know just how much nostalgia plays into the love of the game, and even re-released a celebratory Super Mario Game & Watch for the franchise’s 35th anniversary.

On November 20th, the price of nostalgia was steep – so steep, in fact, that it set a world record. A sealed copy of Super Mario Bros. 3 went up for auction and sold for a staggering $156,000. Prior to the sale of this spectacular piece of history, the record price of a video game sold at an auction was $114,000. Surprisingly, the previous record was set earlier this year. Somewhat unsurprisingly, given the popularity of the franchise, the record-setting game was yet another of the Super Mario variety.

It’s fitting, really, that the same record was broken multiple times with games from the Super Mario franchise. Over 330 million copies of Super Mario games have been sold over the years, making it one of the top three best-selling video game franchises in history. The characters are iconic, and even 35 years after the original Super Mario hit shelves, new versions are still being released.

In the sale orchestrated by Heritage Auctions, multiple records were broken. With the bidding starting at $62,500 and 20 bidders duking it out for a chance to take home the prize, not only did this pristine copy of Super Mario Bros. 3 sell for a record-breaking price, but the bidding war led to the first-ever million-dollar video game auction.

“While the condition of the game is remarkable, what makes this copy even more singular is the layout of the packaging itself: Exceedingly rare are sealed copies with the word ‘Bros.’ formatted to the left, covering one of Mario’s signature white gloves,” A press release from Heritage Auctions stated. “Collectors have spent years looking for such a version — the earliest in the Super Mario Bros. 3 production history – and usually come up empty-handed.”

12 Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week 11/27/20

By Yael Meshulam
Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week 11/27/20
(Getty/Cavan Images Twitter/dadmann_walking)

According to my records, we are quickly approaching The Season To Be Jolly. No matter what holiday you’re celebrating in the coming month (though we’re all united in the celebration of a Happy Honda Days), the lead-up is full of anticipation. This year, as we’ve grown tired of saying, things will look a bit different. As always though, we can count on our kids to remind us what’s really important – making the best of every moment, because they really do grow up too fast. Here are 12 of the funniest parenting tweets this week, from Twitter parents who certainly know how to make the best of things.

The Thanksgiving dinner our ancestors intended

I see no problem with this

Ho Ho Ho

Thoughts and prayers

Heartbreaking

It’s almost impressive

A true inspiration

Sounds unhealthy

Might as well buy stock in Duracell

You know they’re kept in my room

There goes the rest of your day

Sometimes the best thing to say is nothing

Did you miss last week’s funniest parenting tweets?

Deployed Dad Stays In Touch With Kids Through Ring Doorbell

By Yael Meshulam
Kids Use Doorbell for Deployed Dad
(YouTube/Ring)

Though there are certainly drawbacks to living in a world run by technology, advancements in technology provide incredible solutions to many of life’s problems. Especially during the era of COVID, technology has allowed us to stay connected when other modes of communication are no longer an option. Even before the pandemic, communication was a challenge for many – particularly members of the Armed Forces deployed overseas. Being deployed means leaving everyone and everything behind in order to bravely defend your country, and sadly, it often means missing out on some of your kids’ milestones and celebrations.

While stationed in the Middle East with Minnesota National Guard’s 34th Infantry Division, Peter DeCrans bought his family a Ring doorbell, assuming it would help him keep his family safe while he was away. For those who don’t know, a Ring doorbell is equipped with a camera that connects to the homeowner’s devices. If someone presses the button on your Ring doorbell while you’re away from home, you can see the camera’s video feed from wherever you are.

This feature brings peace of mind when you’re away from home, knowing that you’re able to keep a virtual eye on your house from anywhere in the world. But for Peter DeCrans, this feature gave him an incredible gift – one that no doorbell in history has been able to provide (a very odd sentence, yes, but they’re just going to keep getting weirder as technology evolves).

Every morning before school, DeCran’s 7-year-old son Zerick and 5-year-old daughter Petroula recorded a video using their Ring doorbell. And throughout his 10-month deployment, Peter DeCrans was able to receive them – over 100 videos of his adorable kids to keep his spirits up and remind him why he’s doing what he’s doing.

The videos became a highly-anticipated part of DeCrans’s days, something he eagerly looked forward to and cherished enormously during his time away from home.

DeCrans told the Twin Cities Pioneer Press, “It was one of the best things ever, a little slice of home. When you’re gone that long, you miss your kids, and you want to see them. It’s a way to feel connected to what’s going on.”

From thousands of miles away, DeCrans got the latest news from his kids. He heard about their days, new dances they learned, skills they proudly mastered – DeCrans was kept up-to-date on it all.

“It was just part of the routine,” he explained. “They’d get dressed for school, and then they’d swing outside and leave a quick message telling me about their day. … One day Zerick had really long hair, and the next day he had a buzz cut because he had a wood tick in his hair, and he didn’t want long hair anymore.”

In return, DeCrans recorded his own videos. Using a Kindle app he read stories to his kids, continuing a beloved activity the family did together while he was home. DeCrans was able to remain a big part of his kids’ lives from thousands of miles away, and it was all thanks to a doorbell.

This Is the Ultimate DC Extended Universe Chronological Timeline

By The Dad
dc movies in order
(Warner Bros.)

For decades, DC made money off all forms of Superman and Batman. Each superhero had his own television show(s) and a slew of movies. While the ultra-good Superman didn’t make much of an appearance in the early aughts (other than on Smallville), the brooding Batman reigned supreme. No matter the legendary actor who portrayed him, Batman was a blockbuster. With the likes of Penguin and Riddler, he’s had some seriously memorable villains. And let’s not forget the Dark Knight films that offered a particularly dark but enchanting look at Bruce Wayne’s most notorious enemy, The Joker.

Then came the MCU (Marvel Cinematic Universe). With the rise of Ironman and the rest of the Avengers, Batman suddenly didn’t have the same draw. After all, who can compete with Thor? Even Superman isn’t worthy. DC needed to find a way to compete with the MCU and with the end of Marvel’s “Phase 1” in sight, DC jumped at the chance. Enter the DC Extended Universe (DCEU). Playing off MCU’s lead, it was supposed to be a series of DC Character-led films all connected, full of callbacks and easter eggs. Sadly, it quickly jumped the tracks. (Or the shark, depending on how strongly you feel about the DCEU.)

There is an order to the DCEU films, though, and following it can make them more enjoyable. If you want to watch them in chronological order, so the flashbacks and callbacks make the most sense, here’s how…

DC Movies In Chronological Order

Wonder Woman

First, there’s the Wonder Woman flashback to Zeus’ creation of the Amazon women and their homeland, Themyscira. After all, Diana Prince (Gal Gadot) is Amazonian. The rest of the movie’s plot line takes place around World War I, when Captain Steve Trevor accidentally finds his way to Themyscira and is thus followed back to London by Diana/Wonder Woman, where she takes an active role in fighting alongside Allied Forces.

Man of Steel

Man of Steel was technically the first to be released within the timeline, even though the events within the movie all happen after Wonder Woman. Most of the film takes place in present-day (-ish), around 2013 with Superman (Henry Cavill) in his mid-to-late twenties. There are several “flashbacks,” however. The film shows the destruction on Krypton, Kal-El’s home planet, as well as his life as a child growing up in Kansas, as Clark Kent.

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice

The vast majority of Batman v. Superman takes place about a year and a half after the events of Man of Steel. The film largely centers on Batman/Bruce Wayne’s (Ben Affleck) grudge against Superman because of the events of Man of Steel, so you’ll see flashbacks of that destruction, as well as looks at Bruce’s childhood in the ‘80s. So, still clearly after Wonder Woman.

Suicide Squad

Nearly all of the film’s events take place about 12 months after the events in Batman v Superman. How do we know? The biggest factor is that the death of Superman is brought up in the film. We also witness Bruce/Batman taking a step back and handing over the Justice League reins to Amanda Waller (Viola Davis). All clearly signs that time has passed.

Justice League

Justice League pushes the story further into the present, starting about a year after everything that goes down in Suicide Squad. That said, there’s a pretty cool flashback to the fight against Steppenwolf (the supervillain, not the band) that took place in the days of Atlantis and Olympus, thousands of years prior.

Aquaman

Technically, you don’t need to have seen any of the other DC movies in order to watch Aquaman, enjoy Jason Mamoa’s acting and still get the gist of the film. It does, however, take place some time after Justice League. (It also includes gloriously ‘80s flashbacks for a look at Aquaman’s origins.)

Shazam!

Did anyone even watch Shazam!? We won’t judge you if you skipped this one. For the record, though, almost all of the movie takes place over 2018’s holiday season.

Birds of Prey

As previously mentioned, this is where the DC franchise has started to unravel. Birds of Prey. This was the standalone, entirely following Harley Quinn, that fans wanted most. It happens several years after the events of everything in Justice League but pays very little mind to anything Harley did with the Suicide Squad. Hopefully, subsequent movies pull things back together.

DC Movies By Release Date

Man of Steel
June, 2013
Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice
March, 2016
Suicide Squad
August, 2016
Wonder Woman
June, 2017
Justice League
November, 2017
Aquaman
December, 2018
Shazam!
April, 2019
Birds of Prey
February, 2020

Michael Jordan Donates $2 Million To Food Banks in Chicago and Carolina

By Mark Chalifoux
Jordan Donation
(Twitter/FeedingAmerica)

It’s the season of giving, and Michael Jordan once again proved why he’s a GOAT by making a huge donation to Feeding America to help the nearly 80 million food-insecure Americans during the holidays. During Thanksgiving week, Jordan donated $2 million to the organization supporting food banks around the country.

Jordan has proven his charitable side during the pandemic, as he helped fund two health care centers for uninsured people in his current hometown in North Carolina. It’s a huge gift from the sports legend that made a tremendous impact on those at-risk communities. And now, Jordan is helping feed the hungry in Chicago and North Carolina by gifting the proceeds of the recent “Last Dance” documentary on his final season.

Feeding America announced the gift and described it as ‘an incredible gift to be thankful for’ and said it would help feed their neighbors. Jordan, for his part, released a statement acknowledging the donation.

“In these challenging times and in a year of unimaginable difficulty due to COVID-19, it’s more important than ever to pause and give thanks,” he said. “I am proud to be donating additional proceeds from The Last Dance to Feeding America and its member food banks in the Carolinas and Chicago to help feed America’s hungry.”

The NBA Hall of Famer is certainly trying to rewrite his next chapter, as he’s been on a major philanthropic phase in the last year, with this gift, opening two health care centers for the uninsured, and with a $100 million gift over 10 years to fight racial inequality.

Jordan continues to cement his legacy as the GOAT.

Dad Keeps Thanksgiving Tradition Alive By Taking Post-Dinner Nap Over Zoom

By Ben Kleinman
Dad Takes Nap on Zoom
(Getty/Dylan Ellis)

CHULA VISTA, CA – While the Christiansen family was unable to gather in person this year for Thanksgiving due to the pandemic, 41-year-old Jason Christiansen, a father of two, wasn’t about to let that stand in the way of tradition, as he set up a Zoom call so that the entire family could watch him take a post-dinner nap.

“It just wouldn’t be Thanksgiving without Uncle Jason passing out on the couch,” said Jason’s niece Debbie, who along with the rest of the family played some virtual boardgames over Zoom while the audio from Jason’s snores intermittently cut in and out of the call.

While there was a brief moment where the entire Zoom call paused to see if Jason was waking up, it proved that he was just switching positions from one where the laptop camera showed an unflattering angle of his double chin to an even less flattering angle revealing his belly peeking out from beneath his shirt.

“It’s been a strange year, but it felt refreshingly normal to watch my brother fall asleep after consuming his weight in mashed potatoes,” said Jason’s brother Henry, who was grateful that Jason had upgraded to a premium Zoom account so that the family didn’t miss a single second of him napping.

As the entire family said their goodbyes and signed off the Zoom call around 10pm, it wasn’t until 3am that Jason finally woke up from his lengthy Turkey-induced nap and finally shut his laptop screen before immediately going to bed so he could sleep off the rest of the meal.

Despite being completely plausible to parents, THIS JUST IN is satire and intended for entertainment purposes only. For more stories like this one click here.

Tyler Perry Feeds 5,000 Families at Drive-Thru Thanksgiving Food Giveaway

By Mark Chalifoux
Tyler Perry Thanksgiving Giveaway
(Getty/Albert L. Ortega Twitter/emilieIkedaFOX5)

When it comes to famous people, 2020 has shown us who the true GOATS are, the ones who help people in their greatest hour of need and go above and beyond in delivering that help. And it’s also shown us the ones who are astonishingly silent during this time or paying only lip-service when it comes to making a difference. You probably don’t need a reminder, but Tyler Perry is indisputably in that first group. That’s why he was recently crowned the people’s champ.

Perry has always had a philanthropic heart, giving to the people and charities that make a difference. But he’s kicked it up a gear during COVID times. He bought groceries for thousands of seniors during the height of pandemic paranoia, he went above and beyond to get his studio open safely so he could get people back to work, worked with local law enforcement to get gift cards to families in need, gave away $20,000+ in tips at his favorite restaurant, and is just an all-around good guy. Now, he’s helping feed people on Thanksgiving.

His studio announced the news of a giveaway of non-perishable food items and gift cards to the first 5,000 families who came by. The poster for the Thanksgiving giveaway said they wished they ‘could feed everyone’, but wanted to do what they could during a time when so many are food-insecure.

In a sign of how much it’s needed, cars started lining up THE DAY BEFORE the giveaway, like they were selling Playstation 5s. The long line even caused traffic problems.

Perry has given back during the holidays before, most notably a couple years back when he paid off $500,000 of layaway balances at Walmart for families. And this Thanksgiving give-away is another that will not soon be forgotten.

This should be the new barometer for charity work. If you’re causing traffic, it tells you what you’re doing is substantial, and it also tells you there are a lot of people in need, and hopefully his generosity inspires others to give back however they can during the holiday season.