Christmas is just around the corner and The Man in Red is sitting on his throne in every mall across the USA. And what could be more adorable than watching your kids have a magical experience with Santa? Nothing. But what could be FUNNIER than watching your kids have a terrifying encounter with that creepy, bearded, old guy? Also, kind of nothing.
We taught our baby sign language. This is the sign for "help." You're welcome. pic.twitter.com/i6NkxBf4KP
— 🌈Dr. Frizzle (@Swilua) December 5, 2017
I know we shouldn’t laugh when we are probably facilitating the creation of formative trauma, but honestly whom amongst us can keep a straight face at these miniature humans having such giant emotions? I mean, they’re the ones who jumped up with excitement at the mention of meeting Mr. Claus in the first place, right? They’ve seen the movies. It’s not like they were unaware that the guy resembles that unkempt drunk dude who always hangs outside of the 7-11.
— Kellee (@kelleew) December 20, 2015
Have we ever considered that ‘Saint Nick’ sounds like something you’d ironically call that one uncle who has three DUIs?
And while we’re on the topic of criminal activity, you know what else is a misdemeanor? Breaking and entering. I don’t care that he’s bringing gifts, this whole premise is creepy as heck. I would probably panic too if I was forced to mingle with old Kris Kringle.
Here are a few other kids who were (rightfully) scared out of their minds to meet this guy.
Some kids are braver than others…
Poor younger siblings, being dragged to face down a demon in a red suit.
This baby was straight-up horrified and her big brother tried to hold it together but the “WTF” is written all over his face.
“MERRY” Christmas, eh?
This next one almost looks like a half decent encounter, until you look closer at her face. Ah yes, the Santa-induced death stare.
My heart is pounding with the sheer intensity of the fight or flight response triggered in this next baby.
And then there is the classic, dramatic reach for mom. “Why have you betrayed me like this, I trusted you!”
The smartest little escape artists know that the best technique is making your entire body straight and rigid like a board until he starts to lose his grip and you can just slide off.
And finally, this little one didn’t even make it within 50 feet of Santa before collapsing face-first into a pile of fake snow to hide from the world.
Suffice to say, Santa should give all of us the heebie-jeebies. It makes all the sense in the world that kids freak out when forced upon the Jolly Man’s lap. But all things considered, the traumatic trip to the mall is totally worth it for the hilarity that will ensue.
If you have pictures of your own Santa Fails, send them to us! We’d love to laugh along with you.