KENOSHA, WI – Disappointed that her hard work and entrepreneurial spirit may not have produced the results she had hoped, 7-year-old Ellen Coleman sat patiently waiting at her lemonade stand for the next customer to show, unaware of reports that she would raise more money if her lemonade stand sold beer instead.

“The only reason 95% of adults drink lemonade is out of charity for the kid, whereas if Ellen were selling beer, she would have a line down the block,” said Ellen’s dad Blake, who cited the town’s self-described “archaic” alcohol laws that prevented 7-year-olds from selling alcohol.

While Ellen hoped her lemonade stand would help raise enough money to purchase a new bike, that appears far from likely considering how most people are unwilling to spend $1 on a drink that doesn’t taste all that great, and would rather save their money to drink beer with their pals – a fact that Ellen completely overlooked while she stocked up on lemons instead of kegs.

“We applied for an alcohol permit but definitely won’t have it until next summer at the earliest,” continued Blake, who chalked this up to a learning experience for his daughter to show her that she would get nowhere in the beverage business unless she could compete with Anheuser-Busch at their own game.

After waiting for hours, Ellen was delighted to finally see a customer approach her lemonade stand. However, that customer walked away without making a purchase after ordering a vodka lemonade and being told that the lemonade was the whole drink, not a mixer.

This Just In…is The Dad Faking News. Despite being completely plausible to parents, it’s satire and intended for entertainment purposes only. For more stories like this one click here.

“I was a teenage single mom. My son’s father walked away shortly after he was born.

I met my husband when my son was three years old. He stepped up and became that man my son loved to look up to. They’re best friends and have an amazing bond.

In 2017, my husband adopted him. We gave my son the option to keep his last name or to have my husband’s. He’s very proud to be a Gleason.

We now have another son as well and I caught my oldest telling his baby brother when he was born ‘our dad is pretty cool, you’ll like him.’

To all the dads that stepped up when another walked away, we truly appreciate and love you.”

– Megan Gleason

It was a seemingly ordinary day for Massachusetts dad and electrician John Kinney when he received a call from a woman named Gloria Scott. Scott, a 72-year-old woman living alone in her home contacted Kinney because one of her light fixtures was popping and sparking. Upon arriving at the elderly woman’s house, Kinney realized that the sparking light was just one of a laundry list of issues inside of Scott’s deteriorating house. Kinney fixed the light and left, but the kindhearted electrician couldn’t stop thinking about Scott’s living conditions. It wasn’t long before Kinney made his decision – he was going to help make this 72-year-old’s house livable.

“I knew she needed help and I knew she wasn’t going to ask for it,” Kinney told CNN.

The problems lurking within the home of this elderly woman were not only unpleasant, they were downright dangerous. There were holes in her ceiling where wild animals were living, Scott left her water turned off for days at a time because her kitchen sink would spray boiling-hot water – the only shelter the 72-year-old had was unsafe.

Kinney returned to Scott’s house the following week and got to work, without asking for anything in return. In fact, some of Kinney’s friends stepped up as well to help their elderly neighbor with her yard work. Though Kinney was willing to work for free, the materials needed for the repairs were expensive. Instead of asking Scott to cover the costs, Kinney turned to his community.

He started a fundraising page, asking for support to help his struggling neighbor who was quietly living in unsafe conditions.

Kinney explained on the fundraiser’s Facebook page, “Last week, I met a nice old woman that lives all alone in Woburn. She has no internet or cell phone. When sparks started shooting out of her light fixture, she went to a neighbor, and they gave her my number. When I arrived at her house I discovered that the electrical was in very bad shape. Half her lights were out, she had no stove, and her refrigerator was plugged into an extension cord. I fixed her immediate electrical hazards and got her lights and air conditioning on.”

The post continued, “When all the lights came on, I saw that her ceilings were falling apart, her kitchen sink was broken, and that the place was filthy. She told me that critters often got in the house. The outside was no better. Gutters were falling down and it was surrounded by a jungle. She has no family, and money is tight. I got some volunteers together and we went in there and did a ton of yard work and cleanup. Everyone did an amazing job, and this nice old woman was very grateful. It’s simply just not enough though.”

Kinney stated that he was looking only for enough funds to cover the cost of materials, as he had a network of professionals willing to help with the labor for free. It wasn’t long before the community stepped up, bigger and louder than Kinney ever anticipated. In just over a month, the fundraiser collected over $100,000.

Outside of the financial support, volunteers showed up to help. Restaurants donated meals. Complete strangers contributed materials for the multitude of projects that needed to be done within Scott’s home. An entire community banded together to help a complete stranger, generously giving both time and money to make sure Gloria Scott had a safe place to live.

From the beautiful outpouring of support, Gloria’s Gladiators was born. Kinney created the group to fight for community members who are unable to fight for themselves, and in the short duration of the group’s existence, it’s accumulated over 6,000 members.

“We are a group of professional tradesmen and volunteers that can be called upon to help out any elderly person in need,” the group’s Facebook Page states.

Gloria Scott was one of many elderly individuals living in less-than-ideal conditions, and like many, she had nobody to turn to when she needed help. Kinney hopes that Gloria’s Gladiators will amp up support for people just like her around the country, ensuring that none of our elderly neighbors will be forced to endure dangerous living conditions.

“She reminds me of my grandmother,” Kinney told CNN. “My daughter has bonded with her, my wife has bonded with her. It doesn’t stop here. Gloria is a part of my life.”

One light fixture sparked an entire movement, and the energy and behind Gloria’s Gladiators is so powerful, so tangible – it’s almost electric.

It’s no secret we’re fans of the greatest movie (and Christmas movie) ever made, aka Die Hard. Heck, we’re even willing to keep an open mind about the forthcoming Disney Die Hard reboot.

Given Die Hard 2 just turned 30 years old on July 4th, we thought it’d be nice to look back at the franchise that birthed a whole new sub-genre of action flicks. There’s a reason you’ll hear a movie like Air Force One described as “Die Hard on a plane.”

So to commemorate the 30th anniversary of Die Hard 2, here is our ranking of all five movies in the series.

5. A Good Day To Die Hard

This one’s a no-brainer. Save for a handful of decent action sequences (this car chase has its moments!), the fifth and final Die Hard installment is a massive misfire. The story is uninspired, the exposition is tedious, and the John McClain character we know and love is nowhere to be found. He’s just sort of… Bruce Willis. Easily the worst entry in the franchise. Skip it.

4. Die Hard 2

Remember how Air Force One was basically Die Hard on a plane. Well, technically Die Hard 2 is Die Hard on a plane. Kinda similar to the original, but still a really solid action flick, with no shortage of big fiery explosions and McClain’s brutal one-liners. Plus you get to see him in a cardigan this time! A great movie that doesn’t deserve to be touching #5 on this list.

3. Live Free Or Die Hard

Many fans wrote off the fourth Die Hard as being too over-the-top and outlandish, but that is precisely what makes it so damn entertaining. Launching cars at helicopters midair, dodging missile fire from fighter jets while commandeering semi trucks under crumbling freeway infrastructure… this is why we have movies, gang. Likable supporting characters and a never-ending supply ludicrous stunts make Live Free is a really fun and slept-on entry in the franchise.

2. Die Hard With A Vengeance

We’re pretty sure the third Die Hard is so phenomenal in part because it’s the one time we get to see our hero in his natural element. Despite being an NYPD detective, this is the only movie where we get to see John McClain in New York City. He uses this familiarity to his advantage, and it’s nothing short of breathtaking watching him and Zeus (Samuel L. Jackson) race across Manhattan to intercept explosives planted on a Brooklyn-bound subway. Every bit as fun as the first one. Which brings us to…

1. Die Hard

The first one. The movie that inspired a whole flavor of movie. Speed, White House Down, The Rock—hell, even Paul Blart: Mall Cop—all owe a debt of gratitude to what’s widely regarded as the single greatest action movie ever made. The script is ingenious. Every seemingly innocuous thing from the first act, from the plane passenger who suggests he not hesitate to get barefoot at the hotel, to Holly’s maiden name, to the fact that it’s Christmas and on Christmas there is an abundance of tape…

No action is wasted, no dialogue is unnecessary. Everything you see matters. Flawless cast, jaw-dropping practical stunts, endlessly quotable. It’s a truly perfect movie, and for that reason it’s forever cemented its rank as #1.

Do you disagree with our ranking? Drop your top 5 in the comments!

This has been a big year for both Disney+ and Keanu Reeves. Disney+ hit the ground running during their first eligible year at the Emmys, taking home an amazing seven Emmy wins for The Mandalorian alone. Keanu Reeves, meanwhile, has had a busy year of being an all-around excellent dude. Oh yeah, and he starred in the brilliant third installment of Bill & Ted, all while having several other movies in the works. Now, Marvel is working on a Disney+ adaptation of Moon Knight – and supposedly, they’ve got Keanu Reeves in mind to play the series’s protagonist.

Moon Knight, AKA Mark Spector, first appeared in a 1975 Werewolf By Night comic. Former CIA agent Mark Spector gained his superpowers after his double-crossing employer left him for dead at an archeological dig. Khonshu, the Egyptian Moon God, made him a deal – a second chance at life, in exchange for being his incarnation on Earth. Spector was alive, but now held the responsibility of becoming Moon Knight. He created multiple identities to distance himself from his questionable past and invested his money in crime-fighting gear.

Moon Knight has never appeared in films, but Disney+ is finally giving this superhero the recognition he deserves with his own series. Rumors have begun circulating that Marvel hopes to have Keanu Reeves play the heroic but slightly mysterious millionaire, which makes sense – I mean, he does sort of play one in real life.

Marvel pursued Reeves for the 2019 Captain Marvel movie as well, but filming conflicted with John Wick 3. Keanu Reeves has already dipped his toe in the world of Superheroes, starring in DC’s Constantine in 2005. In real life, Reeves is kind-hearted and generous, always humble even with his immense success. On screen, Keanu Reeves kicks a lot of ass and breathes new life into every role he plays – it’s no wonder Marvel wants in on it.

No word on whether there have been actual discussions between Reeves and the people behind Disney+’s adaptation of the comic, but production is supposedly starting before the end of the year – in all likelihood, we’ll have our answer sooner rather than later.

Hopefully, that answer is “YES- Keanu Reeves is finally joining the MCU.” It’s about dang time.

Super Mario is having one heck of a 35th-anniversary celebration, and since Nintendo says the celebration will continue until March of 2021, things are just heating up. So far, brands like Hasbro and Puma have joined the party, bringing us Mario-themed board games and some bright as heck Super Mario sneakers. Finally, Nintendo has stepped up with an anniversary offering of their own – they’ve decided to release an updated (but still completely retro-looking) version of the OG, the Game & Watch handheld.

The Game & Watch series was a line of handheld devices sold by Nintendo from 1980-1991, aptly named for the device’s two functions – playing games and telling time. Each device featured a single game and a small digital clock display in the corner of the screen. During a Nintendo Direct Showcase, Nintendo announced that the Game & Watch was making a comeback in honor of Super Mario’s 35th.

Unlike the original, the upgraded Game & Watch has a color display, and more than 12 pixels. For the ultimate hit of nostalgia, Super Mario Bros will come pre-loaded on the handheld system, along with Super Mario Bros: The Lost Levels, and the classic Game & Watch Ball (though this version will feature Mario instead of the handheld system’s mascot, Mr. Game & Watch).

In the 40 years since the gaming system was originally released, Nintendo also made some improvements on the “watch” portion of the Game & Watch by adding a Mario-themed clock and a fully-functional alarm (which, to be fair, was present in some of the handheld device’s later versions). The 2020 Game & Watch has the same classic look and gameplay as the original – ah, the simplicity of the “+” control pad.

In another fun Mario-themed twist, the handheld also has a screensaver with a variety of animations – 35 of them, to be exact, one for each year we have known and loved the Super Mario Bros franchise.

Keep your eyes open and your Google alerts refreshed, the Super Mario Bros. 35th Anniversary Game & Watch goes on sale on November 13th for $49.99.

Everyone has a story about a lucky trinket. Maybe it was a penny you found that had your birth year on it (oh neat), maybe it’s a watch you inherited from your dad that wear as a reminder of him (sweet). Maybe it’s something inexpensive that was there when something lucky actually did happen (cool), and maybe it’s something that brought you millions of dollars (wait wtf?!).

That was the case for Mark Clark, a Michigan man who won $4 million in the lottery in 2017. He took the lump sum payment of 2.5 million, retired early, and spent his newfound freedom going fishing with his dad and with his son. That time with his dad proved to be extra special, as he passed away a year ago.

Clark continued to still play the lottery on occasion and used a lucky coin his dad had given him a decade ago to scratch off his most recent ticket. And believe it or not, his dad’s lucky coin paid out in a big way, as Clark won another $4 million prize.

Meet Mark Clark! Winner of TWO $4 million Lottery prizes and the luckiest man in Monroe County! 💰💰 ➡️ https://t.co/lkddneYV81 pic.twitter.com/DQCRhp6ahz

— Michigan Lottery (@MILottery) June 22, 2020

At this point, having won the freaking lottery twice, Clark’s next money move should be selling that lucky coin. Sure, plenty of people carry some overvalued talisman, but very, very few of them have a proven track record like Clark’s. He should be shopping that coin to the highest bidder, much like a horse trainer sending his Derby-winning horse to stud.

Or, you never know, maybe Clark’s lucky coin will bring him a third winning lottery ticket someday.

As little kids, many of us had dreams about what we wanted to be when we grew up. Often it involved being a policeman or a fireman, many kids wished to grow up to be a superhero or a secret agent, and, for some us, our dreams involved becoming the biggest bad-ass of all: a ninja.

Not many of us achieved that dream (please let me know if you have), but one man found a way to do just that, and he may have just pioneered a path for our kids.

Genichi Mitsuhashi is a 45-year-old Japanese man and the world’s only degree-certified ninja. According to CNN, Mitsuhashi “spent two years studying the history, traditions and fighting techniques of ninjas” at Japan’s Mie University. The course included basic martial arts and, somehow, lessons on how to stealthily climb mountains!

He started the program in 2018 after Mie University established the International Ninja Research Center in Iga, “is where Ninja used to live. The climate of this area created the very nature of ninja,” Mitsuhashi said.

Ninjas are not just skilled and stealthy fighters, Mitsuhashi said, they were also independent farmers. So he moved to the mountainous province of Iga to practice that skill as well.

“Living independently for your own survival and prosperity is important for modern Japan,” he told CNN. “The world for each of us is not global, but local. The era for globalism is over.”

His ninja studies professor, Yuji Yamada, is clearly proud of his “dedicated student,” saying, “He literally (devotes) his life to ninja.”

Far from wishing to become a ninja as a childhood lark, Mitsuhashi clearly took his studies seriously and now has a Master’s degree in Ninja Studies, officially credentialing his knowledge of history, tradition, and ninja fighting techniques.

Something tells me he won’t be the last person to capture that degree. Hopefully, it comes with nunchucks and throwing stars!

You have to be an incredibly lucky fan to even attend an NFL game these days, but one young Colts fan got even more than he bargained for. As Colts linebacker Darius Leonard was running off the field, he took off his game-worn gloves and tossed them to the fan. The only problem, the fan later discovered Leonard’s wedding ring was in the gloves too.

The return of the NFL has been a resounding success so far, although many of the games have been played to empty stadiums and the only fans have been virtual. A handful of stadiums, though, have had a small number of fans (typically a couple thousand). And as Leonard was running back to the locker room, he realized he may have given the fan more than he wanted to.

Fortunately, the kid had no interest in keeping the ring. After a post on social media went viral, Leonard responded with some laugh emojis and said “I need that.”

Colts LB Darius Leonard threw this fan his gloves on Sunday, but his wedding ring was in them 😅

They got in touch over Twitter and the ring is heading back to Leonard

(via B/R’s @TylerDBrooke) pic.twitter.com/pJ6maJjHyL

— B/R Gridiron (@brgridiron) September 21, 2020

I need that 😂😂😂😂

— Darius Leonard (@dsleon45) September 21, 2020

“Once I put my gloves on, my ring is on,” Leonard said on SportsCenter. “Once I knew I took the gloves off and that’s the only thing that could have possibly happened, that’s when in my mind when I threw my glove, the ring went with it. Thought I might not see that ring again.”

The fan reached out to Leonard’s wife on social media to get the process started of returning the ring. Leonard was incredibly thankful to get it back, as any married guy knows the river of crap he’d face if he lost his wedding ring and couldn’t come up with it.

Leonard told ESPN it shows the kid was raised well.

“I always say that it’s a showcase of his parents. The honesty of saying they found it. Some people wouldn’t have said anything. They would have said it’s a souvenir. I thank them for blessing me to give my ring back, thanking them for being honest. It couldn’t have happened to a better family.”

The Colts linebacker said he’d be sending a jersey or another souvenir to the kid as a way of saying thanks for helping his ring get back to his hand. He also said he’ll continue to wear it when he plays, although I’m sure he’ll check twice the next time he tries to give away his gloves.

Transitioning from in-person learning to virtual learning is no easy feat. Aside from the distractions and the disappointment of not seeing their friends every day, many kids are left without the setup they need to learn from home successfully. Mitch Couch, a father of four, saw firsthand just how much of a struggle it was to find his kids a designated space to learn from home. Being the handy dad he is, Couch decided to build his kids their very own desks to use as their own mini work stations. It wasn’t long before Couch realized other parents were likely having the same issue, so he set out to help.

He explained on Instagram, “I know many of our little ones are still home doing distant learning. Our two kids were taking up space at the kitchen table making it a hassle when it came time for meals. So I made them their own little desks. The cool thing is they can store their items in it after they are done and it can be folded away later to take up less space.”

 

View this post on Instagram

 

Good morning family and friends. I know many of our little ones are still home doing distant learning. Our two kids were taking up space at the kitchen table making it a hassle when it came time for meals. So I made them their own little desks. The cool thing is they can store their items in it after they are done and it can be folded away later to take up less space. If you want to try your hand at making your own, check out my etsy page, they are immediate downloads for 99 cents: https://www.etsy.com/listing/849973882/diy-folding-desk-printable-pdf-plans I made this one for around $35. Have a great day. #school #distantlearning #desk #diy #woodworking

A post shared by Mitch Couch (@goodlyearth) on Sep 3, 2020 at 8:29am PDT

Couch made his fairly simple design available on his Etsy page for just $0.99, hoping that it would allow other parents to create a learning area for their own kids. After hearing about this crafty dad’s creations, a store in the area approached Couch with a request.

“A local grocery store, Grocery Outlet, reached out to me to see if I could build a few for kids in need,” Couch told The Dad. “They were so kind to buy all of the materials and I built them. It started at 25 desks but we ended up doing 35 because the need was so great.”

You read that right – immediately after learning that local kids were struggling with finding the space to work productively at home, Couch got to work, cranking out 35 desks in under a month. Couch spent 12 years as a house contractor and began woodworking three years ago. Though he is highly skilled with tools and the building process, this was a huge undertaking. He didn’t do it alone though, Project Desk turned into a family affair.

“My family was soooo helpful” Couch explained. “They actually came out and helped me build. They did most of the sanding and helping me load and unload the desks.”

His wife even surprised him with four desks she built while he was at work! Now that’s love. The project helped teach his kids the importance of giving back to their community, and the response this big-hearted family received for their efforts was nothing short of extraordinary.

 

View this post on Instagram

 

I have to tell you about some amazing people in our community. The owners of the local Grocery Outlet saw my diy desk video and asked me if i could make some desks for them. They wanted to donate them to the local schools for the kids who are in need because of distant learning. I didn’t hesitate to help them out. They asked for 25 desks to start but the need was great so we upped it to 35!!! My wonderful wife helped me through the whole thing and even surprised me with four desks she made while I was at work. The owners wanted to keep it low key but I just have to let others know how much local business means to a community like ours. Thank you Karin and David for being wonderful people. #supportsmallbusiness #groceryoutlet

A post shared by Mitch Couch (@goodlyearth) on Sep 17, 2020 at 7:41am PDT

“After I posted the desks online I woke up the next morning with hundreds of messages from people all over the world,” Couch recalled.

The desks were distributed through the people at Grocery Outlet who took the time to contact schools, finding kids who needed them. Even the anonymity of the donation didn’t stop grateful recipients from expressing their appreciation.

“Today I got a message from someone who got a few of the desks after they recognized them from online,” Couch said. “They were so grateful.”

While dealing with the struggles of helping his own kids adjust to virtual learning, Couch took the time to open his heart and his toolbox to help others who were struggling as well. He set out to make a difference, and man – he absolutely nailed it.