Satire

Stud Finder’s Dead Batteries Foil Dad’s Best and Only Joke

By     Jul 6, 2019

Dead Batteries in Stud Finder
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Credit: Getty/Tetra Images

FRESNO, CA – Excited to bust out some comedic material that he had used a million times before, father of three Edward Gardner was left heartbroken upon discovering that the batteries in his stud finger were dead, thus ruining his only joke.

“Found one!” exclaimed an overjoyed Edward as he slid the device over his chest, only to realize that he forgot to replace the batteries, completely derailing his attempt at humor.

As Edward repeatedly tried waving the stud finder over his body to no avail, he dejectedly walked out of the room and began a desperate hunt for batteries, only to realize that the TV remote was dead as well and that there were no AAs to be found.

“Guess I’m not as handsome as I used to be,” joked Edward, hoping to play off his embarrassing gaffe with some self-deprecating humor. Though that joke also failed to land, as rather than laughing his wife bluntly replied, “Guess not.”

Determined to make one last effort even though the time to tell a joke has long passed, Edward is currently up in his daughter’s room removing the batteries from her talking stuffed bear, though he promises to put them back.

This Just In…is The Dad Faking News. Despite being completely plausible to parents, it’s satire and intended for entertainment purposes only. For more stories like this one click here.

Education, In Memoriam, Movies and TV, News

Netflix Creates Chadwick Boseman Memorial Scholarship at Howard University

By     Oct 19, 2021

Chadwick Boseman Memorial Scholarship Netflix
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Credit: DFree/Shutterstock

Before Chadwick Boseman was T’Challa, before he earned the professional success that most actors only dream of, Boseman was a student at Howard University. Boseman initially planned on pursuing directing, but his program required students to take acting classes as well. Under the guidance of Cosby Show star Phylicia Rashad, Boseman thrived.

The talented student soon set his sights on acting, and in a quiet act of generosity, Denzel Washington paid for Boseman’s acting course at Oxford – a program he otherwise wouldn’t have been able to afford. In memory of the late actor, Netflix is establishing a $5.4 million scholarship to allow other students a similar opportunity.

The Chadwick A. Boseman Memorial Scholarship will fund four years of tuition at Howard University for recipients. This year, four students (one in each class year) will receive the memorial scholarship. Starting next year and continuing annually, one incoming freshman will be awarded the life-changing scholarship.

“It is with immense pleasure and deep gratitude that we announce the creation of an endowed scholarship in honor of alumnus Chadwick Boseman, whose life and contributions to the arts continue to inspire,” Dr. Wayne A. I. Frederick, president of Howard University said in a statement shared by CNN.

“This scholarship embodies Chadwick’s love for Howard, his passion for storytelling, and his willingness to support future generations of Howard students,” Dr. Frederick continues. “I am thankful for the continuous support and partnership of Chadwick’s wife, Mrs. Simone Ledward-Boseman, and to Netflix for this important gift.”

Students who receive The Chadwick A. Boseman Memorial Scholarship will display qualities that are important both inside and outside of the classroom. The school explains that while leadership and passion are important, so are things like respect and empathy. Boseman, filled with passion and drive, had his trajectory shaped by the generosity of a stranger. Now, even posthumously, he’s doing the same for others.

Animals, Cats, Dogs, Good News, News, Pets

Teen Helps Pets Regain Mobility by Building Wheelchairs for Animals in Need

By     Oct 18, 2021

Teen builds wheelchairs for animals in need
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Credit: YouTube/ FOX 9 Minneapolis-St. Paul

Wheelchairs can mean the difference between life and death for animals with mobility issues. Dogs and cats unable to use their back legs are forced to drag them, causing injuries and infections that could quickly turn deadly. But for animals (and humans, for that matter), wheelchairs are costly. The drastic size difference from one dog to another means that mobility devices must be custom-made – the process is complicated and expensive, but an animal-loving teen from Minnesota is working to change that.

When a high school student named Shaine Kilyun realized how life-changing wheelchairs are to animals who need them, she learned to build them herself. Animal wheelchairs can cost well over $1,000, and as pets grow and require different levels of support, they may need multiple over time. The cost is prohibitive, and some pet owners are unable to give their four-legged friends the support they need.

Shaine watched YouTube videos, practiced the building process, and eventually mastered the art of animal wheelchairs. Last year, she changed the life of a blind 7-month-old Great Dane named Cypress. Cypress’s legs curved and varied in length, so she struggled to walk. After Cypress’s owner connected with Shaine, the teen built a wheelchair that changed the pup’s life. Cypress can now run and play like any other pup, and her human-only paid for the cost of the materials.

“So many dogs get put down because people just don’t think they have a life because they’re disabled,” Shaine told Fox News.

A year after learning the unique skill, the ambitious teen completed 10 custom wheelchairs. Some for dogs, some for cats, one for a hedgehog, and even one for a duck. Shaine plans to continue creating wheelchairs for shelter animals in particular – due to the high cost of wheelchairs, some dogs struggling with mobility are sadly euthanized. With Shaine’s help, several animals have gotten a second chance at life.

To find out more, check out Shaine’s Instagram page. To make a donation, you can do so through Zelle (​​[email protected]).

Movies and TV, News, Parenting, Ryan Reynolds

Ryan Reynolds Announces a ‘Sabbatical’ to Focus On His Role as a Dad

By     Oct 18, 2021

Ryan Reynolds Sabbatical
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Credit: Shutterstock/Kathy Hutchins

Ryan Reynolds is taking a break from acting. The Deadpool and Free Guy star announced it on Instagram this weekend as he wrapped filming on his new movie with Will Ferrell. He’s taking a break from being a movie star to focus on another role he loves: dad.

He announced his sabbatical with a series of snaps from the filming of his new movie, saying “Not sure I’d have been ready to say yes to a film this challenging even three years ago.”

“Singing, dancing and playing in the sandbox with Will Ferrell made a whole lotta dreams come true.”

Reynolds followed it up by saying “perfect time for a little sabbatical from movie making. I’m gonna miss every second working with this obscenely gifted group of creators and artists.

“These days, kindness matters as much as talent,” he finished. “I’ve been lucky to work with folks who are flush with both.”

He later clarified that his sabbatical wasn’t going to last too long, as he does have a Free Guy sequel to film eventually and a Deadpool movie in the MCU supposedly. He also clarified that he’d be spending the sabbatical working as a parent, not learning a new language or traveling the globe.

And his wife was the first to troll him in the replies to his post, as Blake Lively wrote “Michael Caine did it first,” referencing the recent rumors of the elderly actor’s retirement last week. The pitch-perfect comment received 15,000 likes.

Of course, just because the girl-dad is stepping away from movies does not mean he is going to stop trolling his Hollywood frienemy, Hugh Jackman, either.

@vancityreynoldsSocks to be Hugh.♬ A Million Dreams – Ziv Zaifman & Hugh Jackman & Michelle Williams

News, Nostalgia, Technology

Nokia Re-Releasing Classic “Brick” Phone For 20th Anniversary

By     Oct 18, 2021

Nokia Brick Phone Re-release
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Credit: Peter Gudella/Shutterstock

I was one of the last of my friends to get a cellphone. I don’t remember exactly when it was, but it was the early aughts and while everyone I knew had one, I didn’t feel the need. And then my car broke down on the Mass Pike and I had to flag down a flatbed tow-truck – somehow one was going by – to get home. I got a cellphone after that. A Nokia.

Then, on Marathon Monday, I spiked it into the pavement on Boylston Street when I realized it somehow hadn’t saved the number of the girl I’d spent the afternoon with at the Copley Square Pizzeria Uno. I’m not bitter.

It was a memorable day. Today, we celebrate the 20th anniversary. Not of that day (although we probably should), but of the UK release of the Nokia phone I smashed, which is lovingly referred to as the “brick” phone.

The brick phone, otherwise known as the Nokia 6310, was released in 2001. Key features included a battery that would last weeks, a durable frame (couldn’t withstand a sidewalk spike, tho), and that old Snake game that I actually played quite a bit. It was nothing like today’s smartphones. It had barebones internet access, texting was a huge pain, and the photo quality was a joke. It was basically just a phone, but we LOVED it! To celebrate the anniversary, Nokia is re-releasing a new version in the UK that is built just as durably, with that legendary long battery (which probably lasted because no one was using it to scroll Instagram and Twitter all day long), along with a few updates.

‘That yearning for nostalgia makes the new Nokia 6310 the perfect tonic,’ a Nokia spokesperson said, explaining that the phone has been ‘refreshed and reinvented,’ for 2021, with that larger screen and bigger buttons. ‘With the Nokia 6310, it is all fun and games…you can listen to your favourite news channels, sports games, or music stations on the go with reliable connectivity or play an intense game of Snake!’

‘They don’t make them like they used to is a phrase we’ve disowned,’ said Adam Ferguson, Head of Product Marketing at HMD Global. ‘We recently launched the new Nokia XR20, a life-proof smartphone that in my eyes, is a modern day Nokia 3310 in a smartphone. And now the Nokia 6310 is back and better than ever.’

Okay, but can they bring back that girl’s number? I gotta see if she’s still single.

Gaming, News

Animal Crossing New Horizons Is Getting a Ton of New Content This November

By     Oct 18, 2021

Animal Crossing New Horizons DLC
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Credit: Youtube/Nintendo

During today’s special Animal Crossing New Horizons Nintendo Direct, a wealth of new features were revealed for the ridiculously popular game and will be introduced on November 5th, 2021.  Honestly, it’s way more content than I thought was going to be showcased, with lots of quality of life improvements too.

First up, a free update dubbed “Ver. 2.0” will be available to everyone.  The coveted Brewster will be making his return, serving up all sorts of beverages at the museum.  Harv’s Island is getting an upgrade too, which allows you to open up his island and set up shops for different vendors, and they will sell you the items there instead of having to wait for them to show up on your island on certain days.  Along with loads of new characters, you’ll now have enough storage space for up to 5,000 different items and be able to craft ladders to leave around your island so you don’t have to keep pulling yours out to use.  Check it all out for yourself in the video below.

If that wasn’t enough, immediately announced afterward was a paid DLC called “Happy Home Paradise”.  It will release the exact same day as the update and will cost $24.99 separately or comes packed in with the Nintendo Switch Online + Expansion Pack subscription.

This new DLC is massive, to say the least, with you taking it upon yourself to build dream vacation homes for villagers around the world.  There will be characters on the island that will have various requests.  Once you accept a request, you will be able to pick an island that suits their style and can pick the weather, time of day, and season to also help fit the mood.  You’ll then have to create a vacation home that they love, and you’ll get paid a special currency to spend on new and unique items, only available in the DLC.

Along with all of this, there will be new Amiibo character cards released to purchase as well.  These will include the coveted business cat Raymond.  If I’m able to get a hand on any of these, it looks like I’ll finally be able to add the damn adorable cat guy to my island after a never-ending search.

I thought I was done with Animal Crossing New Horizons, but now it looks like I’m definitely jumping back in this November.

Movies and TV, Nature, Parenting, Steve Irwin

Bindi Irwin Celebrates 6-Month-Old Grace Warrior With Adorable Dad-Daughter Pic

By     Oct 18, 2021

Bindi Irwin celebrates 6-month-old daughter Grace
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Credit: Instagram/bindisueirwin

The newest member of the Irwin family recently turned six months old, and her overjoyed parents couldn’t wait to share the important milestone with the world. Bindi Irwin, daughter of the legendary Crocodile hunter, gave birth to Grace Warrior Irwin on March 25. Throughout her pregnancy, Bindi happily shared updates on social media. She invited her followers along to share in her joy and excitement, and the 23-year-old continues to do the same even after Grace’s birth.

The Irwin family eagerly awaited the arrival of Grace Warrior, who would have been Steve Irwin’s first grandchild. Bindi lost her dad at just 8 years old, and throughout her life, she’s worked to keep his memory alive. Grace’s middle name, Warrior, is even an homage to her late grandfather.

“My dad was the first person to create the term ‘Wildlife Warrior,’” Irwin explained in an interview with The Bump. “Being a ‘Wildlife Warrior’ means to stand up and speak for those who cannot speak for themselves.”

To celebrate 6-month-old Grace, Bindi shared an adorable father-daughter photo on Instagram. Her husband, Chandler Powell, grins widely as he holds little Grace – even at 6 months old, she seems to know exactly how dang cute she is. With their faces pressed against each other, both Chandler and Grace look as if there’s no place they’d rather be.

 

View this post on Instagram

 

A post shared by Bindi Irwin (@bindisueirwin)

“Favourite photo,” Bindi captioned the celebratory pic. “We love you so much,” Chandler responded in the photo’s comment section.

Bindi was over the moon after Grace Warrior’s birth, sharing photos of her happy little family in some of her favorite places. Grace is a regular at the Australia Zoo, the Irwin family’s second home. It’s safe to say that both Bindi and Chandler thoroughly love parenting, and 6-month-old Grace is soaking up both the love and the adventurous ways of her doting parents.

 

View this post on Instagram

 

A post shared by Bindi Irwin (@bindisueirwin)

“Grace Warrior, we love you beyond description,” Bindi captioned another series of photos celebrating her 6-month old.

Father Figures

Paul: This Man

By     Oct 17, 2021

Paul: This Man
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“This is my stepfather Paul.

This man has been mine and my little sisters stepfather since I was three years old; my biological father died when I was one-and-a-half years old and my mom was pregnant with my little sister.

This man has been such a father to me, it feels odd even calling him a stepfather. I know it couldn’t have been easy to step in as a father to two kids who just lost their father, but Paul rocked it.

This man worked a lot of hours as a machinist with over an hour commute everyday to make sure we had everything we needed.

I credit this man for making me the man I am today. I have been married for 9 years with two amazing sons and I’m even a machinist myself and absolutely love it.

I owe this man so much and can’t tell him enough how much I appreciate him and love him.”

– Jake Robinson

Want to share a story about fatherhood? Email [email protected]

Gaming, News, Trailers

Rocksteady’s ‘Suicide Squad: Kill the Justice League’ Gets a New Story Trailer

By     Oct 17, 2021

Suicide Squad Kill the Justice League Story Trailer
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Credit: Youtube/Warner Bros. Games

The DC FanDome event was in full force this weekend with all sorts of major announcements.  On the video game front, we got another look at the upcoming Suicide Squad: Kill the Justice League coming from renowned Batman Arkham Trilogy developer Rocksteady.  It looks like it’s going to be a riot.

Amanda Waller has put together ‘Task Force X’, a team of misfits that consists of Deadshot, Captain Boomerang, Harley Quinn, and King Shark.  Their mission?  To literally kill the Justice League.  That’s a tall order considering some of DC’s strongest heroes including Superman, The Flash, and Green Lantern are on a rampage through Metropolis.  Wonder Woman seems to be against the corrupted heroes, so the team has an edge there.  No word on if Batman is going to make an appearance, but Penguin does, and I kinda feel sorry for the poor guy in this trailer.

Suicide Squad: Kill the Justice League was announced at last year’s DC FanDome with a short trailer and no gameplay.  That’s still the case with this trailer, but it’s still said to be on track for a 2022 release on PS5, Xbox Series S/X, and PC.  Rocksteady has confirmed that Kill the Justice League will be a first-person experience with the option to play solo or with up to 4-player’s cooperatively.  Each of the four playable characters will have their own special abilities along with customizable weapons to mix and match.

Despite the fact that’s it’s coming from Rocksteady, their next DC Comics game seems to ditch the doom and gloom of the Arkham games in favor of a dark comedy akin to the recent Suicide Squad film.  It’s also taking place on a much more apocalyptic scale compared to those other games as well.  Hopefully, we’ll get to see some actual gameplay soon.

Along with this announcement, be sure to check out our other DC FanDome coverage including the first look at Dwayne Johnson as Black Adam and another intense trailer for The Batman featuring Robert Pattinson.

Entertainment, Movies and TV, News, Trailers

DC FanDome Delivers First Flash Footage, Looks at Aquaman, Shazam 2

By     Oct 17, 2021

The Flash teaser
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Credit: YouTube/IGN

The DC FanDome churned out a lot of hype on Saturday.

It kicked off with The Rock giving us our first look at Black Adam, kept rolling with some behind the scenes footage of the Aquaman sequel, featuring Jason Momoa’s stealth outfit and Black Mantis:

We also got a behind the scenes look at Shazam 2: Fury of the Gods, which features Helen Mirren and Lucy Liu as angry goddesses, as well other mythological creatures wreaking havoc:

Then we finally got a teaser trailer for the long-awaited Flash movie, featuring Ezra Miller jumping across dimensions and encountering multiple Batmans. The footage at FanDome was heavy on Michael Keaton’s version of the caped crusader, with Bruce asking The Flash why, with his newfound ability to go to any universe at any time, he chose to save one.

At one point, The Flash is flanked by what looks like another universe’s speedster (also played by Ezra Miller, and Supergirl (Sasha Calle), as he asks Batman if he’s in on whatever plan they’ve got rolling. Then he finds the Batmobile.

It looks fun, and while there’s no Batfleck just yet, Keaton is always welcome.