The Worst 202 Dad Jokes That Will Make Your Kids Cringe

There are so many unique perks to being a dad, but there’s one unlike any other: Bad jokes magically become good! At least in our own minds. But if it’s a delusion, it’s a delusion no one can take from us. Here’s a list of the 101 Corniest Dad Jokes out there. Share them with your kids! Whether it’s raucous laughter from your toddler or a pained eye roll from your teenager, it’s missions accomplished for us!

1. When does a joke turn into a dad joke?
When it becomes apparent.

2. What’s ET short for?
Because he’s only got tiny legs.

RELATED: The Best Yo Mama Jokes Are Also the Kindest Yo Mama Jokes – Fatherly

3. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A Carrot

4. I was wondering why this frisbee kept looking bigger and bigger.
Then it hit me.

5. What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An investigator.

6. What’s brown and sticky?
A stick.

7. What’s black and white and goes around and around?
A penguin in a revolving door.

8. I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey.
Then I turned myself around.

9. Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?
Of course. Houses can’t jump.

10. Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field.

11. Why did the pirate walk the plank?
His dog was back on land.

12. I thought about going on an all-almond diet.
But that’s just nuts.

13. Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating?
Because they have no body to go with.

14. What did the grape do when he got stepped on?
He let out a little wine.

15. I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.
It was sole destroying.

16. Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer?
He couldn’t see himself doing it.

17. What happens when a frog’s car dies?
He needs a jump.
If that doesn’t work he has to get it toad.

18. My wife told me to stop acting like a flamingo.
So I had to put my foot down.

19. What’s the best time to go to the dentist?
Tooth hurt-y!

20. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself?
It was two tired.

21. How did Darth Vader know what Luke got him for Christmas?
He felt his presents.

22. Why did the coffee file a police report?
It got mugged.

RELATED: 100+ Dad Jokes That MOMS Think Are Funny – Scary Mommy

23. How do you make a Kleenex dance?
Put some boogie in it!

24. What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta.

25. I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.
I’m just doing it for kicks.

26. What sound does a witches car make?
Broom Broom.

27. Can one bird make a pun?
No, but toucan.

28. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
Nacho Cheese.

29. When is a door not a door?
When it’s ajar.

30. I try to avoid eating anchovies.
It’s a little fishy.

31. Why can’t you can’t trust atoms?
They make up everything.

32. What musical instrument is found in the bathroom?
A tuba toothpaste.

33. Most people are shocked when they find out how bad an electrician I am.

34. Why did the picture go to jail?
Because it was framed.

35. Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?
She ran away from the ball.

36. What do sea monsters eat for lunch?
Fish and ships.

37. Why was the horse so happy?
Because he lived in a stable environment.

38. A termite walks into a bar and says, “Where is the bar tender?”

39. Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay they’d be bagels.

40. What was Forrest Gump’s email password?
“1forrest1”

41. How do trees access the internet?
They log in.

42. What did one eye say to the other eye?
Between you and me, something smells.

43. 3 men are stranded in a boat with 4 cigarettes and no way to light them. So they toss the 4th cigarette overboard, which makes the whole boat a cigarette lighter.

44. Why do melons have weddings?
Because they cantaloupe.

45. What do you call a cow with a twitch?
Beef Jerky.

46. What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.

47. What do you call a cow during an earthquake?
A milkshake.

48. Why do the French never order 2 eggs?
Because one egg is an oeuf.

49. What is the best Christmas present ever?
A broken drum – you can’t beat it!

50. What did one ocean say to the other ocean?
Nothing, they just waved.

51. Why couldn’t the mail person delivery any envelopes?
They were stationary.

52. What do ghosts serve for dessert?
I Scream.

53. I was going to share a vegetable joke, but it’s corny.

54. What do you get when you cross a snoman and a vampire?
Frost bite.

55. How well did I hang up that picture?
I nailed it.

56. Why should you wear 2 pants when you golf?
In case you get a hole-in-one.

57. I tried to catch some fog.
But I mist.

58. Where does the Easter Bunny go to eat pancakes?
To IHOP.

59. I can cut down a tree only using my vision.
I saw it with my own eyes.

60. Which day do chickens hate the most?
Friday.

61. What did the drummer name his twin daughters?
Anna 1, Anna 2!

62. The rotation of earth really makes my day.

63. What do sprinters eat before a race?
Nothing, they fast.

64. Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?
Great food, no atmosphere.

65. What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle?
Attire.

66. The recipe said, “Set the oven to 180 degrees.”
But now I can’t open it because the door faces the wall.

67. What’s the king of all school supplies?
The ruler.

68. Why don’t oysters share their pearls?
Because they’re shellfish.

69. Where do frogs deposit their money?
In a river bank.

70. Why can’t you trust anything balloons say?
They’re full of hot air.

71. What did the paper say to the pencil?
You’ve got a good point!

72. What do you call the boss at Old McDonald’s Farm?
The CIEIO.

73. Why do skunks celebrate Valentine’s Day?
They’re very scent-imental.

74. Why does the clock break when it gets hungry?
It goes back four seconds.

75. Why are pigs so bad at sports?
They’re always hogging the ball.

76. Why is a doctor always calm?
Because they have a lot of patients.

77. How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
Ten tickles.

78. What award did the inventor of knock knock jokes get?
The No-bell prize.

79. What’s the difference between a guitar and a fish?
You can’t tuna fish.

80. Why can’t the bank keep a secret?
It has too many tellers.

81. Why are ghosts such bad liars?
You can see right through them.

82. How do astronomers organize a party?
They planet.

83. What is the best way to communicate with a fish?
Drop it a line.

84. Why is a baseball game a good place to go on a hot day?
Because there are lots of fans.

85. Where does the king keep his armies?
In his sleevies.

86. How much does a pirate pay for corn?
A buccaneer.

87. Where do sharks go on vacation?
Finland.

88. Why shouldn’t you tell an egg a joke?
Because it might crack up.

89. Why is Peter Pan always flying?
He neverlands.

90. How did the police finally stop the paint thief?
They caught him red handed.

91. Why are cats bad storytellers?
Because they only have one tale.

92. What does a nosey pepper do?
Gets jalapeno business.

93. What gets wetter the more it dries?
A towel.

94. What state do crayons go to on vacation?
Color-ado.

95. Why did the belt get arrested?
He held up a pair of pants.

96. What do you call a baby monkey?
A chimp off the old block.

97. What do you get when you cross fish and an elephant?
Swimming trunks.

98. Why are frogs so happy?
They eat whatever bugs them.

99. Why do geologists hate their jobs?
They get taken for granite.

100. What did the shoe say to the confused hat?
You go on ahead.

101. Why is it hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs?
They always take things literally.

102. I love telling Dad jokes.
Sometimes he even laughs.

103. What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back?
A stick.

104. Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?
Because they’re so good at it.

105. What does a zombie vegetarian eat?
“GRRRAAAIINS!”

106. What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common?
Their middle name.

107. A cop just knocked on my door and told me that my dogs were chasing people on bikes.
I told him my dogs don’t even own bikes.

108. What’s the resemblance between a red apple and a green apple?
They’re both red. Except for the green one.

109. How do you deal with a fear of speed bumps?
You slowly get over it.

110. Why did the traffic light turn red?
You would too if you had to change in the middle of the street.

111. My dad died when we couldn’t remember his blood type.
He kept insisting we “be positive,” but it’s hard without him.

112. How many apples grow on a tree?
All of them.

113. How did ancient Grecians get memorialized?
They had to urn it.

114. Have you heard about the new corduroy pillowcases?
They’re making headlines.

115. Did you know the first French fries weren’t actually cooked in France?
They were cooked in Greece.

116. What do you call bears with no ears?
B

117. Does anyone need an ark?
I Noah guy.

118. 5/4 of people admit that they’re bad with fractions.

119. When does a tailor need to go on vacation?
When they seem stressed.

120. What is heavy forward but not backward?
A ton.

121. Why can’t you tell dad jokes until you have kids?
It’s a faux pas.

122. I’m very pleased with my new fridge magnet.
So far I’ve got twelve fridges.

123. To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you.
You have my Word.

124. I’m reading a book about anti-gravity.
It’s impossible to put down.

125. Two goldfish are in a tank.
One says to the other, “Do you know how to drive this thing?”

126. Two soldiers are in a tank.
One says to the other, “Blubblublubblubblub.”

127. Why was the burglar so sensitive?
He takes things personally.

128. I wouldn’t buy anything with velcro.
It’s a total rip-off.

129. I invented a new word today:
Plagiarism.

130. After dinner, my wife asked if I could clear the table.
I needed a running start, but I made it.

131. Why don’t cannibals eat clowns?
They taste funny.

132. Why is Orion’s belt the worst constellation?
It’s a waist of space.

133. This morning, Siri said, “Don’t call me Shirley.”
I accidentally left my phone in
Airplane! mode.

134. Why is it so hard to tell a joke about retired people?
None of them work.

135. I bought some shoes from a drug dealer.
I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day.

136. My son put his shoes on the wrong feet.
I don’t even know where he got someone else’s feet.

137. The cashier asked if I wanted my milk put in a bag.
I told him to just leave it in the carton.

138. What was the most ground-breaking invention?
A shovel.

139. I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory.
All I did was take a day off.

140. Why does putting a car in reverse make you nostalgic?
It takes you back.

141. I just found out I’m colorblind.
The diagnosis came completely out of the purple.

142. What do you call a fish with no eye?
Fsh.

143. A salesman tried to sell me a burial plot.
But that’s the last thing I need.

144. To get over claustrophobia, you really need to think outside the box.

145. Why aren’t koalas actual bears?
They don’t meet the koalafications.

146. Why do flamingoes life one leg up?
If they lifted both they’d fall.

147. What do you call a three-footed aardvark?
A yardvark.

148. I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang.
Eventually, it came back to me.

149. Why do graveyards have gates?
Because people are dying to get in.

150. Today my son asked me for a book Mark.
Can’t believe he’s 11 and still doesn’t know I’m named Dave.

151. Why did the man decide to sell his vacuum?
It was just collecting dust.

152. My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction.
So I packed up my stuff and right.

153. What concert costs just 45 cents?
50 Cent featuring Nickelback.

154. Three conspiracy theorists walk into a bar.
That can’t just be a coincidence.

155. If you ever want to talk about why our air conditioning bill is so high, my door is always open.

156. What if there were no hypothetical questions?

157. Why do Swedish warships have barcodes on them?
So when they dock they can Scandinavian.

158. What has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck.

159. I tried watching The Neverending Story.
Couldn’t finish it.

160. What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

161. What did the man say to the wall?
One more crack like that and I’ll plaster you.

162. Don’t worry if your parachute won’t open.
You’ll have the rest of your life to fix it.

163. What has one horn and gives milk?
A milk truck.

164. Why shouldn’t you try writing with a broken pencil?
It’s pointless.

165. Why should you buy socks with holes in them?
It’s the only way to get your feet in.

166. What’s a foot long and slippery?
A slipper.

167. Why do scuba divers fall backwards into the water?
If they fell forward they’d still be in the boat.

168. What’s the difference in how you cure bird flu and swine flu?
If you have bird flu you need tweetment, if you have swine flu you just need oink-ment.

169. Did you hear the joke about the roof?
Never mind, it’s over your head.

170. What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?
A thesaurus.

171. This morning my alarm went off early.
I thought its sell-by date was tomorrow.

172. Why should you stay away from trees?
They can be a little shady.

173. Why is “R” only a pirate’s second favorite letter?
Because their first love is the C.

174. Why do fish live in salt water?
Because pepper makes them sneeze.

175. How do you remember which direction the sun rises in?
Eventually, it’ll dawn on you.

176. Why are mountains so good at telling jokes?
Because they’re hill areas.

177. What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear.

178. What’s red and smells like blue paint?
Red paint.

179. Why did the cowboy get a wiener dog?
He wanted to get a long little doggie.

180. What did the buffalo say when his kid left for college?
Bison.

181. When does a dad joke cost $1000?
When it’s a granddad joke.

182. Why can’t you trust stairs?
They’re always up to something.

183. What did the dumbwaiter say to the elevator?
I think I’m coming down with something.

184. What do you call a fly without wings?
A walk.

185. What’s the tallest building in the world?
The library, it has the most stories.

186. What’s the best time of day?
6:30, hands down.

187. How are a hippo and Zippo similar?
One is very heavy, the other’s only a little lighter.

188. What’s the 25th letter of the alphabet?
I don’t know, y?

189. What’s Harry Potter’s favorite way to get down a hill?
Walking. JK, Rolling.

190. How do you handle a fear of elevators?
You take steps to avoid them.

191. How can you tell the difference between an alligator and a crocodile?
By whether you see it later or in awhile.

192. When geese fly in V-formation, why is one side longer?
There are more geese on that side.

193. I have an EpiPen. My friend gave it to me when he was dying, it seemed very important to him that I have it.

194. How did the hipster burn his mouth?
He ate the pizza before it was cool.

195. How can you tell by someone’s home if they’re a highway robber?
All the signs will be there.

196. Can you drop an egg on a concrete floor without cracking it?
Yes, concrete floors are very hard to break.

197. How do you lift an elephant with one hand?
You can’t, elephant only have feet.

198. What looks like half an apple?
The other half.

199. How do you make an egg roll?
Just give it a little push.

200. How can you make money while freshening your breath?
Investmints.

201. What is the best thing about living in Switzerland?
Well, the flag is a big plus.

202. Want to hear a joke about construction?
I’m still working on it.

Ryan Reynolds and Rob McElhenney’s Soccer Club Will be in “FIFA 22”

It’s been a great year for Wrexham AFC. The Welsh football club (or “soccer team” depending on which side of the world you live) got two high-profile owners in Ryan Reynolds and Rob McElhenney and now the team is being added to EA Sports “FIFA 22”.

Having celebrities as owners is ALREADY paying off in a big way for the team, as most smaller clubs don’t get the visibility of being a playable team in one of the most popular sports video game franchises. Wrexham will be playable in FIFA’s Kick-off mode, listed in the “Rest of World” category because no other National League teams were even included.

This sets up a perfect and hilarious promo video from Wrexham’s famous owners, as they attempt to teach the rest of us about the “Rest of World” and the geography involved. Learning is always more fun when your teachers are two of the funniest people working in show business.

“Rest of World is an important geographic area known for its random assortment of cultures, climates, and football clubs,” Reynolds said. “If you’re planning on visiting Rest of World, please consider visiting Wrexham. It’s a proud team honored to be in FIFA 22.”

The team and its fans are PSYCHED. A publicist for the club (as if its owners aren’t enough to get the word out) said “everyone is truly excited about Wrexham joining FIFA 22. The co-chairmen talked about making Wrexham a global force when they became its custodians and are now able, with our fans, to take on the Rest of the World, as part of that journey.”

So when you can pretend you’re Reynolds and help conquer the “Rest of World?” October 1st is when the game hits all platforms.

Heroic Teen Saves Sisters From House Fire, Then Is Rescued by His Dog

A teenage boy is being hailed as a hero after he helped save his four sisters from a devastating fire that destroyed their family home. Not long after his parents left to pick up dinner for the family, Briar Omar smelled smoke in the home. One of his sisters said it was really smoky upstairs, and when he saw fire, he sprang into action.

“My sisters: That’s the first thing I thought of,” he told a local TV station. “I knew I had to get them out of the house.” Briar is the family’s oldest child and his youngest sister is only six months old.

The boy successfully located all his sisters and got them out of the house. Then, he decided to go back into the burning house and put out the fire with the fire extinguisher. It was far too late for that, though, and the flames quickly escalated. Briar couldn’t see or breathe. And that’s when the hero was rescued by another hero, as the family dog came to guide the boy out of the home now engulfed in flames.

“I almost collapsed, and then that’s when I felt my dog rub against me,” he said. “I grabbed her, and she led me out the door.”

A family friend started a GoFundMe campaign to help the family get back on its feet after losing everything in the fire. The goal is to raise 20,000 to replace clothes and other necessities. They’re still short of their goal, you can help by donating here. The friend has asked that if people are unable to donate they keep this poor family in their hearts.

While the material loss is devastating, thankfully everything that was taken CAN be replaced. A heroic boy and his faithful dog made sure of that by getting his sisters to safety.

Powerlifting Champ Calls Thor’s Dad Bod in God of War “Peak Male Performance”

Since the first character art for God of War: Ragnarok was released, the character Thor (who will be played by Sons of Anarchy’s Ryan Hurst) has been under scrutiny.  After years of watching Chris Hemsworth play the MCU version of the God of Thunder, I guess everyone was expecting some chiseled dude to show up to fight Kratos in the anticipated sequel.  But British powerlifting champion Darren McCormac has shared his insights on Thor’s appearance in Ragnarok, saying Thor’s bulk is indicative of just how strong he is.

“Like it or not, God of War‘s Thor is the peak of male performance,” McCormac told The Sixth Axis. ” As a strength athlete, there is a correlation between bulk and strength.  In powerlifting, the most competitive classes are the under 100kg and under 110kg–guys who are lifting multiple times their own bodyweight. They won’t be tall, they’ll be bulky.” In terms of Norse mythology, this depiction of Thor in God of War: Ragnarok is considered accurate.  Sure, Hemsworth is going to look great in Thor: Love and Thunder, but give me back the Thor from Avengers: Endgame.

Finally, McCormac goes on to say, “Not all these guys will have abs, far from it.  They’ll have a layer of lard over it, a power belly.  Any old fool can get abs–yes I am looking at you, Mr. Hemsworth–but a power belly and big traps (the muscles either side of your neck) are the sign of a bloody strong man.”

You hear that? Any old fool can get abs!  I’m going to start referring to my belly as a “power belly”.  As long as the heaviest thing I’m lifting are the groceries, none shall question my epic strength.

Proud Mom Shares Moving Letter From Son’s Teacher on Reddit, Quickly Goes Viral

Adult or child, it’s easy to write someone off for behavior you don’t quite understand. In every social situation, there are unspoken expectations that make or break the way the world sees us. While understanding social norms comes naturally to many, for people with autism, socializing can feel like playing Minesweeper blindfolded. When Loan, mom of 8-year-old Carter shared a note from his teacher on Reddit, it reminded us all that a little patience and understanding can go a long way.

From a young age, Carter’s parents realized he was developmentally different from his older sister. He had speech delays, and once he started preschool, his hyperactivity became evident. Rather than sitting with his class, he would run from the classroom at any opportunity. He struggled to sit still, and an evaluation revealed he had ADHD. With a 504 supporting his needs in kindergarten, Carter’s parents breathed a sigh of relief. In first grade, however, Carter’s struggles became impossible to ignore.

“I received calls almost everyday from his teacher or principal,” Loan told The Dad. “His impulsivity was getting worse. ​​He would take papers in class and tear them up. He would flip the chairs and throw pencils around the room. He could not calm down at all.”

Teachers were unable to help Carter regulate his behavior, and as a result, he was suspended.

“I can’t even imagine how painful it was for him,” Loan recalled. “He had a million emotions going through his head and he wasn’t able to control them. Kids saw this and just thought he was a bad kid and that something was wrong with him.”

Carter struggled, but his family knew his intention was not to hurt others. After further evaluations, Carter was diagnosed with ASD, or Autism Spectrum Disorder. Unwilling to let the world paint him in an unfair light, Carter’s parents hired an advocate. They had an IEP (Individualized Education Program) put in place, and transferred Carter to a school that could meet his needs. Before long, Carter began to thrive.

Carter's family
(Credit: Courtesy of Carter's Mom, Loan)

The now second grader’s frustration was met with understanding, his outbursts met with patience. Without constant fear that emotions outside of his control would lead to punishment, Carter’s kindness and empathy were free to shine through. Teachers at his new school shared countless stories of Carter’s generosity, but one letter in particular stood out.

In the now viral note Loan shared on Reddit, Carter’s teacher wrote about an incident where another student was upset. Carter learned that his classmate lost her retainer, and she was inconsolable at the thought of getting in trouble. Carter offered to help look, and asked to see a picture to help him find it.

He asked his teacher how much retainers cost, and then responded, “oh man, if I hadn’t spent my money I would have enough to buy her one so her parents are not mad.”

Letter from Carter's teacher
(Credit: Courtesy of Carter's Mom, Loan)

Carter’s teacher went on to say that the 8-year-old cared deeply for his classmates, regularly displaying acts of kindness. The same second grader who was suspended for his behavior is now “a pleasure to have” in class, thanks to compassion and support from his teachers and family.

“When kids with ASD/ADHD act out, it’s not out of malice. It’s that their brains are not wired the same as other people,” Loan explains, a reminder that we can all stand to have a little more compassion. “They want to focus and not be impulsive, but they can’t sometimes. They are misjudged because they don’t act like everyone else.”

Rolling Stone Updates Top 500 Songs, Everyone Predictably Not Happy

Who doesn’t love a good list? Before social media, they, were one of the best ways to start an argument. Now they are a great way to encourage conversation, which is technically exactly what Rolling Stone got when they released their newly updated Top 500 Songs list.

They do this from time to time, and let’s be honest: it’s mostly to generate clicks. A few years ago they created an uproar when Marvin Gaye’s “What’s Going On” took over the top spot on their Top Albums list. Lots of people went to the Rolling Stone website that day, and so it was a big success.  They basically admit this tactic in the introductory paragraph:

“In 2004, Rolling Stone published its list of the 500 Greatest Songs of All Time. It’s one of the most widely read stories in our history, viewed hundreds of millions of times on this site. But a lot has changed since 2004; back then the iPod was relatively new, and Billie Eilish was three years old. So we’ve decided to give the list a total reboot.”

The new list definitely has some changes, such as the additions of Kanye, Lady Gaga, and Lizzo. The aforementioned Eilish shows up with “Bad Guy” coming in at #178! Rolling Stone explains: “More than half the songs here — 254 in all — weren’t present on the old list, including a third of the Top 100.”

Not to give away the milk for free, but for the sake of talking about their choices, the Top Ten is as follows:

10. Outkast’s “Hey Ya!”
9. Fleetwood Mac’s “Dreams”
8. Missy Elliot’s “Get Ur Freak On”
7. The Beatles’ “Strawberry Fields Forever”
6. Marvin Gaye’s “What’s Going On”
5. Nirvana’s “Smells Like Teen Spirit”
4. Bob Dylan’s “Like A Rolling Stone”
3. Sam Cooke’s “A Change Is Gonna Come”
2. Public Enemy’s “Fight The Power”
1. Aretha Franklin’s “Respect.”

I’m sure you have an opinion on this list because just about everyone does. Especially on Twitter.

Lorde over MJ?

Somebody loves classic rock:

Somebody hates modern music:

All eyez off him:

Seems reasonable:

Never change the internet. Or Rolling Stone Top 500 Songs List. People don’t like it when you do!

LeVar Burton Is No Longer Interested In Hosting Jeopardy

Who knew that a simple game show could cause so much drama?

The saga of “Who Will Host Jeopardy?” has been keeping the internet riveted ever since beloved longtime host Alex Trebek lost his battle with cancer late last year. The show has been auditioning countless guest hosts, including former champions, current NFL players, TV stars, even its own executive producer. All this in the face of much of the public’s, Ryan Reynolds, and Dick Van Dyke’s, desire to see former Star Trek and Reading Rainbow star LeVar Burton get the gig.

Well, LeVar no longer wants it.

Burton finally got a chance to host the show in July, just before the drama with Mike Richards – the aforementioned executive producer of the show who seemingly installed himself and then had to step down after questions of the process, and problems with past behavior and comments he’d made on his podcast – exploded. But now, despite his initial desire to give the people what they want, Burton is out.

He appeared on The Daily Show this week and explained to Trevor Noah how the fan support emboldened him. “You know, we did a kickstarter several years ago. I discovered then that the generation of adults now, who grew up on Reading Rainbow, they were down with whatever it is I wanted to do, and the same was true with this Jeopardy! thing.

“I made it public that I wanted it for myself, that it made sense to me, and they were all about it. It made as much sense to them as it did to me. And, so, they wanted it for me as much as I wanted it.”

And then he explained that losing out on the gig was the best thing that could have happened.

“The crazy thing is that when you set your sights on something, you know, they say be careful of what you wish for, because what I found out is that it wasn’t the thing that I wanted after all. What I wanted was to compete. I mean, I wanted the job, right, but then, when I didn’t get it, it was, like, well, OK, what’s next? And, so, the opportunities that have come my way as a result of not getting that gig, I couldn’t have dreamt it up.”

So we may not be seeing Burton behind the Jeopardy podium anytime soon – the show just announced that Mayim Bialik and former champ Ken Jennings will be sharing hosting duties for a while, while the search for a permanent host continues – it sounds like we’ll be seeing him plenty of other places.

Hopefully, places that are a lot more drama-free than Jeopardy.

11 Most Powerful DC Characters (You Know, In Addition To Superman)

Superheroes have taken over nearly every form of media. They’re showing up on the small screen on networks, cable television, and subscription services. On the big screen, there’s such a giant collection of comic heroes and villains that it often seems easier to name someone who hasn’t been in a DC or Marvel movie than someone who has. The classic Batman vs. Superman fight is no more, either — now that the greater public knows more than just those two powerhouse superheroes, the conversation has gotten deeper, richer, and more convoluted. And, among DC fans, part of that conversation includes a robust debate centered on the most powerful DC characters.

It’s a loaded question that leaves us with a ton of follow-up questions. Hero or villain? Male or female? Super nerds might even ask you which timeline, but we’re not going to confuse the laypeople by getting into the various comic timelines. We will, however, address the rest. And maybe, just maybe, we can figure out who the most powerful DC character really is.

Most Powerful DC Villains — Female

Rampage

When scientist Dr. Kitty Faulkner was exposed to the powers of the Bio-Energy Actualizer, it had gruesome effects. It turned her from a nerdy hero trying to save the planet to a hulked-up, angry she-beast intent on succumbing to her most basic instincts and destroying Metropolis. This girl had Superman powers and “Hulk-Smash” rage.

Maxima

Maxima is, in essence, a gorgeous, powerful, and angry alien. Her brute strength comes from her psionic powers. She came to Earth because she believed Superman was the only entity in all the universe worthy of giving her a child. He was, unsurprisingly, uninterested, which only made her more volatile. The two superpowers go head-to-head on numerous occasions.

Cheetah

On the surface, Cheetah seems like a pretty tame (pun intended) villain. Oh, so you can run fast and have sharp teeth and claws? Cool, cool, cool. But, like, she can run really fast. She’s managed to catch The Flash before. And those teeth? They’re sharp enough to pierce even Superman’s skin and do some damage. Cheetah’s biggest foe was Wonder Woman — and even she stumbled a few times in their go-arounds.

Most Powerful DC Villains — Male

The Decreator

The Decreator is a bit of an unreasonable and volatile anti-god or a shadow god. He’s believed to have been created at the same time God created the universe. While God “creates,” The Decreator destroys or dismantles (or, you know, decreates). Upon his discovery, the only thing anyone could do was slow him down in his quest to destroy the world, but they couldn’t entirely stop him.

Krona

Krona is utterly evil and badass. When it comes to “power,” it’s hard to top psychic abilities like telekinesis and telepathy. I mean, how do you defeat someone who always knows your next move? Krona, though, goes even further: He’s also nearly immortal. Remember the old phrase, “What doesn’t kill me makes me strong?” Yeah, that’s Krona in a nutshell.

Mxyzptlk

As far as we can tell, you won’t find Mr. Mxyzptlk in any movies — at least not yet. He’s an old-school villain. He’s almost magical in his abilities because nothing needs to make sense or be even somewhat logical. If he can imagine it, he can make it happen. Fighting the guy in the middle of a desert island on a sunny day? He can crush you with a piano falling from the sky (except he probably won’t). Mr. Mxyzptlk is extremely powerful and a bit of a scamp, so he’s for sure a villain. But he’s not exactly evil.

Most Powerful DC Heroes — Female

Wonder Woman, Obviously

Even without her lasso, Wonder Woman is basically unstoppable. She can fly and move at warp speed. She’s also exceedingly strong and has unbelievable stamina. You can try to go 10 rounds with Wonder Woman — but only one of you will make it through the first two without losing your breath.

Supergirl

Supergirl is in every way, shape, and form the same as Superman, except she’s, ya know, a girl. As long as the sun is burning, Supergirl is flush with unfathomable power that starts with ultra-heightened senses and ends with, well, they don’t really ever end.

Power Girl

Just like Supergirl and Superman, Power Girl hails from Krypton and brings with her all the same incredible strengths as her cousins.

Most Powerful DC Heroes — Male

Manhattan

Dr. Manhattan was once just a regular dude, but he became something altogether different once exposed to nuclear energy. Like those Fukushima daisies, he was a bit of a freak but still as super as they came. Here’s a shortlist of just some of Dr. Manhattan’s superpowers: replication, resurrection, space travel, and time travel.

Superman

There. Are you happy? We included Supes. Superman is as equally powerful as Superman fans are annoying. Anything you can do, Supes can do better — and with a sickening earnestness that sometimes makes us want to unleash our tiny (useless) fists of fury on him.

The Spectre

Spectre has literally defeated the Anti-Monitor, which, in our opinion, makes him much more powerful than even Superman. His power is so overwhelming that it’s passed from human to human, just in an attempt to rein him in and keep him under control. And, yeah, he’s a good-ish guy.

A final note for the Batman fans who are mad we left off their favorite sulking “superhero”: We’d like to remind you of something very simple. Batman isn’t powerful. He’s rich. Don’t @ us.

Article Claims ”Grown Men Shouldn’t Waste Their Lives Playing Video Games”

Hoo boy.

It has been a while since I’ve read a “video games are the devil” article, but here we are.  I mean, we’ve come a long way since the days when playing video games was the “nerd” thing to do.  Video games have become a billion-dollar industry, and everyone from Brendan Fraser to Patrick Mahomes to your grandpa plays them.  It’s a shame that a recent article published in The Telegraph ignores the positives of adults who play games and shines a negative light on the whole thing.

The article, which was written by Camilla Tominey, is titled “Grown men shouldn’t waste their lives playing video games”.  Tominey talks about Nintendo advertisements “infantilising their customers”.  The ads feature grown men and women playing Nintendo Switch, which is something “her eight-year-old daughter enjoys playing”.  She also refers to us adults who play games as “overgrown school children”:

“Hashtagged #SetPlaytimeFree, it appears to make the false assumption that most commuters like to while away their spare hours playing Mario Kart, Minecraft and Pokemon. Doesn’t Nintendo realise that the only adults who still use the word “playtime” post puberty aren’t the types to be found on the tube? They are the overgrown school children riding around outside on e-scooters.”

It’s baffling to me that “grown men” are the target demographic for Tominey’s article.  Women play video games too.  It’s also a major understatement to only mention Minecraft, Pokemon, and Mario Kart when talking about video games.  I mean, those games are awesome, and there’s a rush of adrenaline one gets from knocking their kid out with a blue shell and taking first place, but it’s a statement that only scratches the surface of gaming.  What about games like The Last of Us and God of War?  They’re not exactly kid-friendly experiences.  These are fantastic and mature games with engrossing stories that have captured the hearts of millions of fans.  The gaming industry isn’t just for kids anymore.

The article brings up the whole idea of gaming as an adult and considers it a waste of time.  Video games unfortunately are always looked at as a waste of time, but compared to what?  Sure, you could watch your favorite sports team kick a ball around, binge watch eight hours of your favorite TV show, or read a book over the course of a week and end up hating it.  I just don’t understand how any of that could be considered a better use of your time.  I feel that as long as you love something and are passionate about it (and it isn’t causing harm to anyone else), it shouldn’t be considered a waste of time.  Do what makes you happy.

Video games have evolved over the years into more than just something you would “play with your friends in your mom’s basement”.  There have been friendships made through online gaming that are truly wholesome, and video games have become a source of joy for those with children with disabilities.  My wife and I love to play games like Final Fantasy XIV together.  My kids and I love to sit down and play games together.  There’s lots of bonding time, and it can be a positive experience, no matter your age.  Video games, just like anything else, are a form of entertainment that can be great for kids and adults to relax and blow off steam with.  Personally, I’ve been playing games since I could hold a NES controller, and I’ll continue to play them for years to come.  Video games especially helped me out when I was going through my fight with testicular cancer.  Being able to spend a few hours in a fantasy world helped take my mind off things and acted as a form of escapism during tough times.

If you’re one of those grown-ups (like myself) that loves to play video games, The Dad has a Facebook group called The Dad Gaming Community.  There are over 36,000 members in this group, and it’s not just all dads.  Everyone is welcome, and it’s one of the most positive communities I’ve ever been a part of (and I’m not just saying that because I write for The Dad).  If you love video games and want to talk with other like-minded individuals, this is the happening place to be.  We also have Facebook groups for individual games and even a tabletop gaming group, so seriously, no matter your preference, there’s something for everyone.

I feel like life’s too short to be upset about something that millions of people (yes, even grown men) get enjoyment from.  If you’re reading this Camilla, maybe sit down with your daughter and play some Minecraft or Super Mario 3D World: Bowser’s Fury on Switch.  You can’t go wrong with any of these co-op experiences, and who knows, you might actually have some fun too.

Ken Jennings Takes Over for Mike Richards as New Jeopardy Co-Host (For Now)

Ken Jennings is the new host of “Jeopardy.” And much like all Jeopardy hosts these days, it’s not permanent. The show announced Thursday that Jennings would be stepping into the now-vacant second host slot after Mike Richards was bounced from the show. So now the game’s GOAT player will have yet another run behind the host podium as he shepherds the show through the end of the year. What happens after that is anyone’s guess.

Actress Mayim Bialik (who was very good on her guest-hosting run) had previously been announced as the host for special primetime specials and tournaments. She’s been filling in for the production of new daily episodes as well, after the show was left without a host when Richards was fired. Bialik also stars on a sitcom on FOX, so she can’t do the gig full-time. And that’s where Jennings comes in. The two will split hosting duties through the rest of 2021.

Richards stepped down from his hosting job after a shady search for Alex Trebek’s successor, combined with a bunch of comments he made on a podcast that were problematic enough for Sony to cut ties. He stayed on as an executive producer and then was fired from that too.

Jennings is a fan favorite and even joined the “Jeopardy” team as a consulting producer. He was close with Trebek and was widely seen as the successor to the TV legend. He was the first guest host but never seemed to pick up much traction as the full-time host. Much of that hype went to LeVar Burton. In the end, it was Richards, the man leading the search, who decided he was the best for the job.

So now Sony executives have bought themselves some breathing room. At first, they announced they would go back to the guest host format while a new permanent host was found. This way, the show gets *some* level of stability and continuity as the two hosts tag team their way through the rest of the year as their respective schedules allow. And who knows, maybe the best decision Sony can make is no decision, and let the future of the show be split between the two permanently.