The Worst 202 Dad Jokes That Will Make Your Kids Cringe

101 Worst Dad Jokes to Make Your Kids Cringe
(Getty/Radius Images)

There are so many unique perks to being a dad, but there’s one unlike any other: Bad jokes magically become good! At least in our own minds. But if it’s a delusion, it’s a delusion no one can take from us. Here’s a list of the 101 Corniest Dad Jokes out there. Share them with your kids! Whether it’s raucous laughter from your toddler or a pained eye roll from your teenager, it’s missions accomplished for us!

1. When does a joke turn into a dad joke?
When it becomes apparent.

2. What’s ET short for?
Because he’s only got tiny legs.

RELATED: The Best Yo Mama Jokes Are Also the Kindest Yo Mama Jokes – Fatherly

3. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A Carrot

4. I was wondering why this frisbee kept looking bigger and bigger.
Then it hit me.

5. What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An investigator.

6. What’s brown and sticky?
A stick.

7. What’s black and white and goes around and around?
A penguin in a revolving door.

8. I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey.
Then I turned myself around.

9. Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?
Of course. Houses can’t jump.

10. Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field.

11. Why did the pirate walk the plank?
His dog was back on land.

12. I thought about going on an all-almond diet.
But that’s just nuts.

13. Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating?
Because they have no body to go with.

14. What did the grape do when he got stepped on?
He let out a little wine.

15. I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.
It was sole destroying.

16. Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer?
He couldn’t see himself doing it.

17. What happens when a frog’s car dies?
He needs a jump.
If that doesn’t work he has to get it toad.

18. My wife told me to stop acting like a flamingo.
So I had to put my foot down.

19. What’s the best time to go to the dentist?
Tooth hurt-y!

20. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself?
It was two tired.

21. How did Darth Vader know what Luke got him for Christmas?
He felt his presents.

22. Why did the coffee file a police report?
It got mugged.

RELATED: 100+ Dad Jokes That MOMS Think Are Funny – Scary Mommy

23. How do you make a Kleenex dance?
Put some boogie in it!

24. What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta.

25. I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.
I’m just doing it for kicks.

26. What sound does a witches car make?
Broom Broom.

27. Can one bird make a pun?
No, but toucan.

28. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
Nacho Cheese.

29. When is a door not a door?
When it’s ajar.

30. I try to avoid eating anchovies.
It’s a little fishy.

31. Why can’t you can’t trust atoms?
They make up everything.

32. What musical instrument is found in the bathroom?
A tuba toothpaste.

33. Most people are shocked when they find out how bad an electrician I am.

34. Why did the picture go to jail?
Because it was framed.

35. Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?
She ran away from the ball.

36. What do sea monsters eat for lunch?
Fish and ships.

37. Why was the horse so happy?
Because he lived in a stable environment.

38. A termite walks into a bar and says, “Where is the bar tender?”

39. Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay they’d be bagels.

40. What was Forrest Gump’s email password?
“1forrest1”

41. How do trees access the internet?
They log in.

42. What did one eye say to the other eye?
Between you and me, something smells.

43. 3 men are stranded in a boat with 4 cigarettes and no way to light them. So they toss the 4th cigarette overboard, which makes the whole boat a cigarette lighter.

44. Why do melons have weddings?
Because they cantaloupe.

45. What do you call a cow with a twitch?
Beef Jerky.

46. What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.

47. What do you call a cow during an earthquake?
A milkshake.

48. Why do the French never order 2 eggs?
Because one egg is an oeuf.

49. What is the best Christmas present ever?
A broken drum – you can’t beat it!

50. What did one ocean say to the other ocean?
Nothing, they just waved.

51. Why couldn’t the mail person delivery any envelopes?
They were stationary.

52. What do ghosts serve for dessert?
I Scream.

53. I was going to share a vegetable joke, but it’s corny.

54. What do you get when you cross a snoman and a vampire?
Frost bite.

55. How well did I hang up that picture?
I nailed it.

56. Why should you wear 2 pants when you golf?
In case you get a hole-in-one.

57. I tried to catch some fog.
But I mist.

58. Where does the Easter Bunny go to eat pancakes?
To IHOP.

59. I can cut down a tree only using my vision.
I saw it with my own eyes.

60. Which day do chickens hate the most?
Friday.

61. What did the drummer name his twin daughters?
Anna 1, Anna 2!

62. The rotation of earth really makes my day.

63. What do sprinters eat before a race?
Nothing, they fast.

64. Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?
Great food, no atmosphere.

65. What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle?
Attire.

66. The recipe said, “Set the oven to 180 degrees.”
But now I can’t open it because the door faces the wall.

67. What’s the king of all school supplies?
The ruler.

68. Why don’t oysters share their pearls?
Because they’re shellfish.

69. Where do frogs deposit their money?
In a river bank.

70. Why can’t you trust anything balloons say?
They’re full of hot air.

71. What did the paper say to the pencil?
You’ve got a good point!

72. What do you call the boss at Old McDonald’s Farm?
The CIEIO.

73. Why do skunks celebrate Valentine’s Day?
They’re very scent-imental.

74. Why does the clock break when it gets hungry?
It goes back four seconds.

75. Why are pigs so bad at sports?
They’re always hogging the ball.

76. Why is a doctor always calm?
Because they have a lot of patients.

77. How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
Ten tickles.

78. What award did the inventor of knock knock jokes get?
The No-bell prize.

79. What’s the difference between a guitar and a fish?
You can’t tuna fish.

80. Why can’t the bank keep a secret?
It has too many tellers.

81. Why are ghosts such bad liars?
You can see right through them.

82. How do astronomers organize a party?
They planet.

83. What is the best way to communicate with a fish?
Drop it a line.

84. Why is a baseball game a good place to go on a hot day?
Because there are lots of fans.

85. Where does the king keep his armies?
In his sleevies.

86. How much does a pirate pay for corn?
A buccaneer.

87. Where do sharks go on vacation?
Finland.

88. Why shouldn’t you tell an egg a joke?
Because it might crack up.

89. Why is Peter Pan always flying?
He neverlands.

90. How did the police finally stop the paint thief?
They caught him red handed.

91. Why are cats bad storytellers?
Because they only have one tale.

92. What does a nosey pepper do?
Gets jalapeno business.

93. What gets wetter the more it dries?
A towel.

94. What state do crayons go to on vacation?
Color-ado.

95. Why did the belt get arrested?
He held up a pair of pants.

96. What do you call a baby monkey?
A chimp off the old block.

97. What do you get when you cross fish and an elephant?
Swimming trunks.

98. Why are frogs so happy?
They eat whatever bugs them.

99. Why do geologists hate their jobs?
They get taken for granite.

100. What did the shoe say to the confused hat?
You go on ahead.

101. Why is it hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs?
They always take things literally.

102. I love telling Dad jokes.
Sometimes he even laughs.

103. What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back?
A stick.

104. Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?
Because they’re so good at it.

105. What does a zombie vegetarian eat?
“GRRRAAAIINS!”

106. What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common?
Their middle name.

107. A cop just knocked on my door and told me that my dogs were chasing people on bikes.
I told him my dogs don’t even own bikes.

108. What’s the resemblance between a red apple and a green apple?
They’re both red. Except for the green one.

109. How do you deal with a fear of speed bumps?
You slowly get over it.

110. Why did the traffic light turn red?
You would too if you had to change in the middle of the street.

111. My dad died when we couldn’t remember his blood type.
He kept insisting we “be positive,” but it’s hard without him.

112. How many apples grow on a tree?
All of them.

113. How did ancient Grecians get memorialized?
They had to urn it.

114. Have you heard about the new corduroy pillowcases?
They’re making headlines.

115. Did you know the first French fries weren’t actually cooked in France?
They were cooked in Greece.

116. What do you call bears with no ears?
B

117. Does anyone need an ark?
I Noah guy.

118. 5/4 of people admit that they’re bad with fractions.

119. When does a tailor need to go on vacation?
When they seem stressed.

120. What is heavy forward but not backward?
A ton.

121. Why can’t you tell dad jokes until you have kids?
It’s a faux pas.

122. I’m very pleased with my new fridge magnet.
So far I’ve got twelve fridges.

123. To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you.
You have my Word.

124. I’m reading a book about anti-gravity.
It’s impossible to put down.

125. Two goldfish are in a tank.
One says to the other, “Do you know how to drive this thing?”

126. Two soldiers are in a tank.
One says to the other, “Blubblublubblubblub.”

127. Why was the burglar so sensitive?
He takes things personally.

128. I wouldn’t buy anything with velcro.
It’s a total rip-off.

129. I invented a new word today:
Plagiarism.

130. After dinner, my wife asked if I could clear the table.
I needed a running start, but I made it.

131. Why don’t cannibals eat clowns?
They taste funny.

132. Why is Orion’s belt the worst constellation?
It’s a waist of space.

133. This morning, Siri said, “Don’t call me Shirley.”
I accidentally left my phone in
Airplane! mode.

134. Why is it so hard to tell a joke about retired people?
None of them work.

135. I bought some shoes from a drug dealer.
I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day.

136. My son put his shoes on the wrong feet.
I don’t even know where he got someone else’s feet.

137. The cashier asked if I wanted my milk put in a bag.
I told him to just leave it in the carton.

138. What was the most ground-breaking invention?
A shovel.

139. I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory.
All I did was take a day off.

140. Why does putting a car in reverse make you nostalgic?
It takes you back.

141. I just found out I’m colorblind.
The diagnosis came completely out of the purple.

142. What do you call a fish with no eye?
Fsh.

143. A salesman tried to sell me a burial plot.
But that’s the last thing I need.

144. To get over claustrophobia, you really need to think outside the box.

145. Why aren’t koalas actual bears?
They don’t meet the koalafications.

146. Why do flamingoes life one leg up?
If they lifted both they’d fall.

147. What do you call a three-footed aardvark?
A yardvark.

148. I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang.
Eventually, it came back to me.

149. Why do graveyards have gates?
Because people are dying to get in.

150. Today my son asked me for a book Mark.
Can’t believe he’s 11 and still doesn’t know I’m named Dave.

151. Why did the man decide to sell his vacuum?
It was just collecting dust.

152. My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction.
So I packed up my stuff and right.

153. What concert costs just 45 cents?
50 Cent featuring Nickelback.

154. Three conspiracy theorists walk into a bar.
That can’t just be a coincidence.

155. If you ever want to talk about why our air conditioning bill is so high, my door is always open.

156. What if there were no hypothetical questions?

157. Why do Swedish warships have barcodes on them?
So when they dock they can Scandinavian.

158. What has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck.

159. I tried watching The Neverending Story.
Couldn’t finish it.

160. What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

161. What did the man say to the wall?
One more crack like that and I’ll plaster you.

162. Don’t worry if your parachute won’t open.
You’ll have the rest of your life to fix it.

163. What has one horn and gives milk?
A milk truck.

164. Why shouldn’t you try writing with a broken pencil?
It’s pointless.

165. Why should you buy socks with holes in them?
It’s the only way to get your feet in.

166. What’s a foot long and slippery?
A slipper.

167. Why do scuba divers fall backwards into the water?
If they fell forward they’d still be in the boat.

168. What’s the difference in how you cure bird flu and swine flu?
If you have bird flu you need tweetment, if you have swine flu you just need oink-ment.

169. Did you hear the joke about the roof?
Never mind, it’s over your head.

170. What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?
A thesaurus.

171. This morning my alarm went off early.
I thought its sell-by date was tomorrow.

172. Why should you stay away from trees?
They can be a little shady.

173. Why is “R” only a pirate’s second favorite letter?
Because their first love is the C.

174. Why do fish live in salt water?
Because pepper makes them sneeze.

175. How do you remember which direction the sun rises in?
Eventually, it’ll dawn on you.

176. Why are mountains so good at telling jokes?
Because they’re hill areas.

177. What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear.

178. What’s red and smells like blue paint?
Red paint.

179. Why did the cowboy get a wiener dog?
He wanted to get a long little doggie.

180. What did the buffalo say when his kid left for college?
Bison.

181. When does a dad joke cost $1000?
When it’s a granddad joke.

182. Why can’t you trust stairs?
They’re always up to something.

183. What did the dumbwaiter say to the elevator?
I think I’m coming down with something.

184. What do you call a fly without wings?
A walk.

185. What’s the tallest building in the world?
The library, it has the most stories.

186. What’s the best time of day?
6:30, hands down.

187. How are a hippo and Zippo similar?
One is very heavy, the other’s only a little lighter.

188. What’s the 25th letter of the alphabet?
I don’t know, y?

189. What’s Harry Potter’s favorite way to get down a hill?
Walking. JK, Rolling.

190. How do you handle a fear of elevators?
You take steps to avoid them.

191. How can you tell the difference between an alligator and a crocodile?
By whether you see it later or in awhile.

192. When geese fly in V-formation, why is one side longer?
There are more geese on that side.

193. I have an EpiPen. My friend gave it to me when he was dying, it seemed very important to him that I have it.

194. How did the hipster burn his mouth?
He ate the pizza before it was cool.

195. How can you tell by someone’s home if they’re a highway robber?
All the signs will be there.

196. Can you drop an egg on a concrete floor without cracking it?
Yes, concrete floors are very hard to break.

197. How do you lift an elephant with one hand?
You can’t, elephant only have feet.

198. What looks like half an apple?
The other half.

199. How do you make an egg roll?
Just give it a little push.

200. How can you make money while freshening your breath?
Investmints.

201. What is the best thing about living in Switzerland?
Well, the flag is a big plus.

202. Want to hear a joke about construction?
I’m still working on it.

The Rock on the Handshake, and the Second Chance, That Changed His Life

A scene from The Rock's new show where young Dwayne Johnson shakes his coaches hand.
(Instagram/TheRock///NBC)

“We can all look back at defining moments and people that changed the direction of our lives,” The Rock wrote on Instagram. And he’s right. For all of us, there’s a moment (or two…or three) that changed the course of our lives and who we would become. Even superstar The Rock had a moment that changed his entire life, and he shared the story on Instagram after it was featured in a recent episode of “The Young Rock.”

Dwayne Johnson was 15 years old when he moved to Bethlehem PA and attended a new high school. He was not… an ideal student, to say the least. Within a month he had been arrested as well as suspended for fighting. He also had an incident with a coach in the teachers’ lounge, which almost came to blows. That’s not exactly the profile of someone on the path to becoming a professional athlete and the biggest movie star in the world.

“I acted like a real asshole to him, so the next day I found him so I could apologize eye to eye and face to face,” The Rock wrote of the handshake that changed his life. “When he wouldn’t let my hand go, I thought he was gonna deck the shit outta me, but instead he said something to me that would change the course of life.”

In the clip, the coach explains that everyone deserves a second chance. He also takes the opportunity to talk to him about playing football. That set him on a course to collegiate football, and eventually the WWE (and beyond).

The Rock said he’s always going to be grateful to that coach, who has since passed away. “Thank you coach,” he wrote, “for seeing the potential in that punk kid. You shaking my hand and NOT letting it go, changed my life.”

“Cheers to second chances and moments that change your life,” he wrote.

 

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This is important, for multiple reasons. First, because it’s a chance to think back on our own lives, and have gratitude for the people and events that shaped us. But second: now, as we get older, we have the chance to be on the other side of that handshake.

 

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As the coaches, teachers and authority figures dealing with kids who can sometimes -in Johnson’s words- be “assholes”, we need to remember how much impact forgiveness and second chances can have on a kid. It’s a good reminder for when you see someone struggling, hold on to that handshake a few seconds longer, and let them know someone cares about them.

Young Fan at First MLB Game Snags Foul Ball Away From Pro and Earns His Respect

Boy Snags Calhoun's Fly Ball
(Twitter/BallySportsSO)

Catching a foul ball is the pinnacle sports fan moment. Grabbing a puck at a hockey game is up there, but the foul ball catch is a quintessential fan highlight. Sometimes, they can be dramatic, like the fan who sacrificed his beer to protect his female companion. And sometimes, they can be straight cool, like the young fan attending his first-ever baseball game recently who managed to compete with an MLBer for a foul ball…and won.

Arizona Diamondbacks outfielder Kole Calhoun was tracking a foul ball to the stands, where he was poised to bring it in for an out. Instead, a young fan was there instead, making an incredible catch. Once Calhoun realized what happened, and that he wouldn’t get the out, he couldn’t even be mad because the catch was that incredible. Instead, he smiled and fist-bumped the fan.

Calhoun still remembers when he caught a foul ball as a kid and said it was cool that the fan made such a great grab and that he’ll remember it forever.

“That’s why we play the game,” he said. “That kid is never going to forget that. What a moment for him.”

Calhoun said it was a heck of a play for the kid to make. He even went back to the kid later in the game to tell him he was probably going to be on the Sportscenter Top 10 for his catch.

“He looked at me right in the face and said “I’m already blowing up on Tik Tok.’”

The kid, Cord McLerran, was attending his first game ever with his mom. He was blown away by the attention he got for the grab. Even the Braves were appreciative since he saved them from a clear out. The team offered him and his mom free tickets to an upcoming game.

As awesome as the catch was, Calhoun’s response really is what it’s all about. It would be easy for a professional baseball player to get mad at something like that since it interfered with his play. But he remembered, rightly, that sports are supposed to be fun, and are supposed to be for kids. He gets it, and not only did McLerran get an incredible baseball memory, but Calhoun also got a new fan.

When Life Gives You Lemons, You Pull Off The Lemon Battery Experiment

lemon battery experiment
(Getty/oxyzay)

Looking for a completely useless but weird and fun experiment to do with your little rascals? You should try the lemon battery! The concept is simple: You cram some nails and pennies into opposite ends of a lemon, use copper wire to connect each end to a tiny LED light, and, with enough nails and pennies, you’ll be able to power the light. Ka-blam! You made a lemon battery! You’ve probably seen this experiment done with potatoes. That totally works, too. But, let’s face it: Lemons are colorful and, therefore, more fun.

The lemon battery experiment is based on one done 200 years ago by famed Italian physicist and chemist (and a “pioneer of electricity”), Alessandro Volta. When he created the first electrical battery, he used a very similar method. The difference? He used brine (or saltwater) instead of lemons. But, the science is basically the same in both instances, the acid or brine is what is needed for the “electrolyte.” Also, does Volta’s last name sound familiar? You probably already guessed it, the electric potential volt is named after him.

Here’s how to get started and what you’ll need.

lemon battery experimentt
Giphy

How does the lemon battery experiment work?

If you’re going to do this experiment, you need to understand the actual science behind it, right? The “battery” works because of an electrochemical reaction. When you use galvanized nails, they serve as an electron-producing negative electrode. On the opposite side of things, the copper pennies (and copper wire) serve as the positive electrode. Think of it just like the opposite ends of any battery. If you put the nails and pennies so they touched, they’d cancel each other out and nothing would happen. But, when stuck in a lemon, the meat and juice of the fruit act as a conduit or conductive solution. The lemon enables you to connect the positive and negative ends to the light’s small wires and channel those electrodes into it… thus powering the light.

What You Need

  • Copper wire
  • Galvanized nails
  • Pennies
  • Lemon(s)
  • LED bulb

How to Make the Lemon Battery

  • Push your nails into one end of a lemon. The nails should touch each other.
  • Create a small incision on the other end of the lemon and insert your pennies
  • Cut two lengths of copper wire.
  • Wrap one piece of wire around a nailhead. Take the other, coil the end of it and wedge it between your stack of pennies in the lemon.
  • Connect the ends of your two copper wires to the ends of the wires on your LED light.

This Video Explains it Best

Lemon Battery Tips for Success

  • Roll your lemon on the table, under your palm for a few seconds, first. This helps loosen up the juices.
  • Make sure your pennies and nails are on opposite ends of the lemon and definitely not touching.
  • Not getting enough power? While some versions of this experiment call for more lemons, you really just need more pennies and nails. Of course, if you start to run out of the surface area on your fruit, a second and third lemon connected in a chain can also solve your problem.

The Lemon Battery on Steroids

We know you and your kids love those crazy influencer experiment videos. We do, too! Of all the lemon battery videos out there, this one is actually the coolest thing ever. Be warned, though: Your kids are also going to end up asking if they can bounce a bunch of lemons on their trampoline. And, honestly, why not?

Other Fruits Battery Experiments

“Okay, but my wife is more of a tequila girl. We only have limes and you couldn’t pay me to go to the grocery store.”

The acid is what is needed here, not specifically the lemon. Any citrus fruit will work. Do you have limes? Use limes. Sitting under a tree of Indian River Ruby Red Grapefruits? Wear a helmet, bro. And use some grapefruits. Which is best? It’s safe to say that lemons are probably the best: That’s why it’s called the lemon battery experiment instead of the key lime battery experiment. However, it doesn’t seem as if there are any real, solid tests to see which of the citrus fruits work best. Maybe that’s an experiment for another day?

The 10 Best BBQ Subscription Boxes That Send Me Stuff Every Month? Shut Up And Take My Money!

bbq subscription box
(Grill Masters Club)

Ahhh, barbecue. The very word starts the mouth-watering. If you know a big BBQ fan, one of the best gifts you can give them is a BBQ subscription box — whether it’s for Father’s Day, the holidays, a birthday, or…just because. When you’re using your own blends of spices, sauces, and salts to create your own masterpiece on the grill or in a smoker, the fantastic taste of BBQ meats is tough to beat. The only downside to creating your own BBQ? The time it takes. Sure, this leaves more time for bad barbecue dad jokes, but, over the long barbecuing sessions, the family’s eye rolls and groans aren’t as enjoyable after the 45th dad grilling pun as they were after the 33rd pun.

We have a solution. Subscribe to one of the best BBQ subscription boxes to have the sauces, rubs, and seasonings sent to you, delivering impressive flavor with far less prep time on your part. Some of these boxes even send you BBQ meals each month. #Heaven

Here are the best of the best when it comes to barbecue subscription boxes (we judged based on quality, taste, and reviews.)

Best Barbecue Subscription Boxes

Best BBQ Subscription Box; Grill Masters Club

Grill Masters Club Subscription Box

The Grill Master Club box includes four or five products related to barbecuing that arrive every month, including rubs, sauces, and marinades. You’ll even receive some recipes for creating mouth-watering barbecue. Additionally, you’ll gain access to the Grill Masters Club community of grillers, allowing you to share favorite sauces and rubs, while also discussing BBQ-ing techniques.

Now, we wouldn’t expect the community members to share all of their tips and techniques. Barbecue aficionados tend to guard their secrets. But they’ll probably share just enough to help. Maybe you’ll even be able to use their tips and the sauces in this box to develop some secrets of your own.

Buy for $30 on Grill Masters Club

Best BBQ Subscription Boxes; Boost Your BBQ

Boost Your BBQ Subscription Box

With the Boost Your BBQ monthly box, you’ll receive competition-level rubs and sauces that will give your barbecue results an impressive flavor that’s sure to impress.

Yeah, we know. Your barbecue doesn’t need any help. You’re already a grill-master. But think of these sauces and rubs like a changeup. Sure, you might have a great fastball with your current barbecue techniques. But no one advances to the big leagues without tossing in a changeup occasionally.

Buy for $33 on Amazon

Best BBQ Subscription Boxes; BBQ Box

BBQ Box Subscription Box

When it comes to the best barbecue, having the best sauces and rubs to pair with the best meats provides the highest level of success. With the BBQ Box, you’ll receive one type of dry rub and one sauce, along with a recipe card, so you can make the most of the products.

With some kits, you’ll receive a sample of wood chips, so you can try a different style of wood-fired grilling and smoky flavoring. The box will open up some new avenues for your grilling options. If you’re like most of us dads, and you’ve settled into a BBQ grilling routine, your family may wonder what has gotten into you with these new flavors. Just remember: It’s always good to keep them guessing.

Buy for $24 on Amazon

Best BBQ Subscription Boxes; Wing Sauce box

June Moon Spice Seasoning Subscription Box

If your barbecuing prowess tends more toward grilling chicken than beef and pork, this subscription box will give you great sauces and seasonings that are perfect for chicken, including wings on the grill, giving your BBQ some fun new flavors.

You’ll receive three different flavors each month, meaning your barbecue results will never be the same from one session to the next. You know that “Greatest Grilling Dad” coffee mug the kids gave you last Father’s Day? You’ll be earning it with these awesome new flavors.

Buy for $18 on Amazon

Armadillo Pepper BBQ Sauce and Dry Rub of the Month Club

We all have that neighbor who wants to try to one-up us at every turn. When we buy a new car, you can bet the neighbor will have a slightly newer car a few months later. When we tell a story about how we saw the mayor at the grocery store, buying embarrassing products that are better purchased using the anonymity of the Internet, he’ll surely have seen the governor at the gas station buying something even worse.

So let’s see that guy outdo us with specialty BBQ sauces and dry rubs. With the flavors that we receive in this Armadillo Pepper subscription box, he’ll have no chance.

This box only contains small-batch, boutique items each month, so the neighbor will be out of luck trying to find something locally to one-up you this time. (And if you use the word “boutique” to describe your new barbecue flavors, you can bet that his pea brain will need to Google that word on his iPhone … that’s one model newer than yours, of course.)

Buy for $29 on Armadillo Pepper

Best BBQ Subscription Boxes; Gourmet Food Clubs box

Gourmet Food Clubs Rub of the Month Club

Some people like the messiness of eating barbecue, which makes grilling with sauces their preferred method of grilling. For a bit less mess, though, a barbecue rub provides a burst of flavor with dry spices, seasonings, and salts. With this box, each month you’ll receive a new bottle of rub to give your grilling the perfect flavor. Rubs work on almost any kind of meat, including chicken, pork, and beef.

Don’t worry. Even with how great these rubs taste, you’ll still be able to take all of the credit for the excellent barbecue.

Buy for $40 on Gourmet Food Clubs

Best BBQ Subscription Box; Sauce Boss box

Condiment King by Sauce Boss Subscription Box

When it comes to barbecuing for kids, if you try to use any kind of sauce other than ketchup (yes, kids consider ketchup a sauce), you’re likely to receive quite a bit of pushback.

Hopefully, this Condiment King by Sauce Boss subscription box can fix that problem. It includes gourmet condiment sauces, including BBQ sauces, hot sauces, and aioli. If those sauces are too bold for the children, it will include some kid-friendly sauces too, such as gourmet ketchups. (Yes, there is such a thing.)

You can choose to have certain types of sauces included, so you always have the right mix. There’s even a specialty ranch sauce available. (It’s true. We never joke about ranch sauce.)

Buy for $32 on Crate Joy

Best BBQ Subscription Boxes; Gold Belly box

Gold Belly Monthly BBQ Subscription Box

As a grilling dad, we all know the satisfaction and importance of creating our own grilling recipes. There simply are times when we need to stand in front of the grill, have a cold one, and create a tasty barbecue meal.

Other times, though, it’s okay if someone else makes the great BBQ meal for us. (Trust us: The beer tastes just as good when someone else has done the barbecuing for you.) With this subscription, you’ll receive different barbecued meals from all over the country, including ribs, tips, and pulled pork. (The food is packaged safely, but you will need to track its shipping route and store it properly soon after its arrival.)

We understand that you’re a great BBQ-er, but having great-tasting BBQ sent to you from coast to coast each month is tough to beat. (If you want to try to take credit, you can toss the ribs on your own grill for a quick heat-up and pretend you made them yourself. Maybe your family will even humor you for a change and buy your story.)

Buy for $90 on Gold Belly

Best BBQ Subscription Boxes; Southside Market box

Southside Market Sausage of the Month Club

If your favorite type of barbecue tilts more toward smoked sausages, the Southside Market has you covered. With this subscription, you’ll receive a collection of sausages each month that deliver impressive flavor. Each monthly subscription arrives with a recipe card too, so you can create meals with these sausages.

This is authentic Texas BBQ that you’ll love to try each month. And if the kids take one look at the sausages, say yuck, and demand hot dogs, all the better. More for you.

Buy for $50 on Southside Market

Best BBQ Subscription Boxes; Pig of the Month Club

Pig of the Month BBQ Subscription Box

For those dads who love the sides that go with a great barbecue dinner almost as much as the BBQ meats, this subscription box gives you the best of both. You’ll receive a new collection of food each month, including the possibility of ribs, pulled pork, pulled chicken, sausage, baked beans, and desserts.

There’s even a couple of months where a Bloody Mary mix is part of the box. (Yeah. That seals it for us too. We’re ordering it right now as we type this.)

Buy for $71 on Crate Joy

Although we only recommend picks we really love, we may earn a commission on purchases made through links from our site.

10 Best Grill Lights: Give Your Superstar Grilling the Spotlight It Deserves

grilling lights
(Getty Images)

Before you ask, yes you need grill lights. When you have the urge to grill, as a serious dad/grill-master, you know that it doesn’t really matter what time of the day or season of the year it is. Grilling time waits for no man. As long as the sun is visible, you’ll have plenty of light for a successful grilling session. But sometimes, the sun refuses to operate on your grilling schedule. #Rude

And you can’t always count on a bright moon giving you the light you need for grilling after dark. It’s quite the conundrum for those of us who are willing to fire up the grill 24/7. Whether you’re Jones-ing for a burger and some delicious sides at 11 p.m. or you want to grill a breakfast steak at 5 a.m., you don’t need the sun, the moon, or your car’s headlights when you have one of the best grill lights on hand.

LED grill lights provide just the right amount of light, so you can keep up your perfect grilling record, even after sundown or before sunrise. The saying on your dad grilling apron promises top-notch grilling results after all, and you don’t want to make it a liar.

We’re sure that the best grill lights on our list will let you grill at any time you want. Whether you want to follow grilling tradition and crack open a beer for your pre-dawn breakfast steak-grilling session is up to you. No judgment here. (If it’s a weekday, though, we guarantee that your boss will judge. Fair warning.)

Best BBQ Grill Lights

Best Grill Lights - Weber handle light

Weber Grill ‘N Go Handle LED Grill Light

For a hands-free light that you can mount to the grill, this Weber clip-on light is a great choice.

It connects to the handle of the grill, so when you lift the lid, it will point down onto the grill grates, adding the light where it’s required while leaving your hands free to move the food. It uses an LED light that runs from batteries. It’s motion-sensitive, which conserves battery power.

If you want to hold onto it to provide precise light in any particular location, this LED grill light will pop loose from the grill quickly. Best of all, it has a teeny-tiny grill printed on the top side of the light. If that doesn’t guarantee a BBQ grill light that you can trust, we’re not sure what would.

Buy for $30 on Amazon

Best Grill Lights - Zeust grill light

Zeust Sirius 2.0 BBQ Grill Light

The Zeust Sirius 2.0 grill light is the perfect option for those who are serious (see what we did there? — Dad joke!) about grilling.

It has a high-quality light, made from materials that Zeust guarantees will be melt-proof. (You might not think being melt-proof is all that important until you buy a sh*tty BBQ grill light that melts all over your burgers.) #Level10Disaster

This model has an IP55 weatherproof rating, so you can leave it attached to the grill all year round. This is version 2.0 of the Zeust light, which we can only assume means it’s twice as good as version 1.0. (Sure, you could wait for version 3.0, but you shouldn’t be greedy. Version 2.0 will do the trick for most people.)

Buy for $30 on Amazon

Best Grill Lights; Char-Broil Grill Handle Light

Char-Broil Handle LED Grill Light

Grilling in the dark has its advantages. The kids will be in bed — hopefully — and won’t be demanding to help, which primarily involves bugging the crap out of you. The neighbor won’t be sneaking over, acting as if he hasn’t eaten in a week, trying to guilt you into giving him a burger without just coming out and asking for one.

You can just enjoy your grilling time. This Char-Broil light clamps onto the handle of the grill for convenience. The LED bulbs are bright and will last a long time, which is important, because after you’ve experienced the peace and serenity of grilling at night once, you may wonder why you’ve ever grilled in the daylight.

Buy for $19 on Amazon

Best Grill Lights - Broil King grill light

Broil King Handle-Mount LED Grill Light

If you want a quick-mount/quick-unmount BBQ grill light — leaving more time for grilling — the Broil King grill light has an adjustable strap that has enough flex to it to simplify the mounting process.

The Broil King light has a rectangular shape, which spreads the light across a large section of the grilling surface. You’ll be able to see the grilled meat and the vegetables at the same time. (Whether that’s an advantage is up to you.)

Buy for $17 on Amazon

Best Grill Lights - Big Green Egg Night Light

StarBright Grill Light for Big Green Egg Grill

The Big Green Egg grill is a popular choice for those who like to grill at a precise temperature in a unique grill design.

The egg shape of this ceramic grill requires a special type of LED grill light to fit the unit properly. This model clips onto the grill’s handle, using its round shape to aim the light downward. It has a power button on the front for convenience. It’s rechargeable through a USB cable, which is a significant advantage over the long run versus throw-away alkaline batteries.

The round grill and round light match up so well that it makes it look like you know what you’re doing. For most of us dads, this is a significant cause for celebration.

Buy for $25 on Amazon

Best Grill Lights - Weyape Grill Light

Weyape Grill Light for BBQ

For those with huge grills, finding enough light to illuminate the entire grate area can be a challenge. This Weyape light can rotate up and down 180 degrees and left or right 90 degrees after mounting to the handle, so you can see whichever part of the grilling surface needs your attention.

This is a tough LED grill light, made to resist heat and weather. In fact, Weyape says this light is the perfect choice for grilling in the rain at night. (We’re not sure why we haven’t tried this yet, but it’s now on our bucket list.)

Buy for $21 on Amazon

Best Grill Lights - LED Concepts Grill Light

LED Concepts Gooseneck BBQ Grill Light

As you can see, a popular design among the best grill lights involves clamping a light to the handle of the grill, almost like a porch light for the grill, hovering over the cooking surface. However, when you have a grill with a lid that doesn’t accommodate this type of light, you’ll need a different type of design.

This gooseneck grill light can clamp to a few different sections on the main part of most grills, and you then can use the adjustable gooseneck to aim the light properly. The base of the light has magnetic properties, which help to hold it in place securely.

With a 22-inch neck on the light, it’s easy to adjust the lighting’s direction to wherever you need it. This is an insanely important feature. For example, if you aim the light through the window just right and use the on/off switch, you may be able to use Morse code to signal to your wife inside the house that you need another beer. (We’re guessing she’ll ignore you, but being an optimist is what makes the world go around, so give it a shot anyway.)

Buy for $19 on Amazon

Best Grill Lights - Cuisinart Grill Light

Cuisinart Grilluminate Torch Light

Sometimes, you simply need the maximum light for grilling. Simple, small lights just won’t do the trick. When you need precise grilling results, such as perfectly hitting medium-rare in a ribeye, a tiny, weak light isn’t going to cut it. m Instead, a BBQ grill light that calls itself the “Grilluminate” is the answer.

This Cuisinart light has two separate LED light bars, each of which is ready for individual positioning adjustment. Each bar has a high and low setting as well, so you can turn up the light whenever needed.

Each light bar requires three AAA batteries, so the operational costs for this light can add up pretty quickly if you use it a lot. But when it comes to shining the most light on your night grilling process, this double-barreled LED grill light is up to the task.

Buy for $20 on Amazon

Best Grill Lights - Kosin grill light

Kosin Barbecue Grill Lights With Magnetic Base

If your grill simply cannot accommodate a clamp-on LED grill light, this set of two magnetic base lights will attach anywhere on the grill you need light. The adjustable 4.5-inch neck on the light gives you the ability to aim the light as desired too.

Although these lights have water and weather resistance, you don’t have to leave them attached to the grill all of the time, as they pop loose quickly, thanks to the magnetic design. They’ll work for a reading light, for camping, or for bringing extra light to detailed tasks anywhere in the home.

They work so easily and efficiently that you may have to hide them from the rest of the family, or when it’s time to do your night grilling, they will probably have conveniently disappeared into your child’s bedroom, where electronics go into the Twilight Zone, never to be seen again.

Buy for $14 on Amazon

Best Grill Lights; Energizer head lamp

Energizer Rechargeable LED Headlamp

If you’re trying to grill over a large area, having an LED grill light that mounts to the grill may not work very well. Instead, you may need the light to follow you as you walk from the prep area to the grill to the keg to the grill over and over (with maybe an extra stop or two at the keg).

This headlamp might not be your first choice as a BBQ grill light, but it’ll do the job nicely. It also works for those who hike, jog, or camp, giving it plenty of versatility.

It has a rechargeable battery, powered through an included USB cable, which makes it convenient to use without the expense of throw-away batteries. If you’re worried about looking silly while wearing a headlamp, you shouldn’t. What could be more “dad” than wearing a headlamp while grilling at night?

Buy for $25 on Amazon

Although we only recommend picks we really love, we may earn a commission on purchases made through links from our site.

Paws Whatever You’re Doing, The Golden Retriever Experience Is Open Fur Business

Soak up some puppy love at the Golden Retriever Experience
(Instagram/thegoldenretrieverexperience)

Adopting a dog is an enormous responsibility, one that unfortunately isn’t feasible for everyone. During the beginning of quarantine, people flocked to adopt animals before realizing their pre-COVID lifestyle wasn’t necessarily compatible with pets. As a result, shelters were flooded with animals once people returned to work – a sad situation to be sure, and one that the Golden Retriever Experience (GRE) is trying to mitigate.

Located in the English West Somerset district lies every dog lover’s dream – a haven filled with a pack of trained golden retrievers who eagerly await their many visitors. Nicolas Grant-St James and his daughter Lauren would do anything for their dogs, but after realizing not everyone had the opportunity to own dogs themselves, they set out on a journey to fill that void.

Nicolas is known as the UK’s dog whisperer, and his passion for understanding and training dogs was fundamental to the GRE’s early days. Initially, the duo formed a training program to help others understand dog psychology as well as train their canine companions. Their own pack of Golden Retrievers helped clients work through the training process, and understandably, the pups quickly stole the show.

With encouragement from friends and clients alike, the father-daughter duo opened their very own “Disneyland for Dogs” in 2017, a place where everyone is welcome to soak up all the puppy love they could possibly want.

“The GRE has been built on the life-long love and dedication we’ve felt, and continue to feel, for the countless Golden Retrievers that have graced our lives,” the GRE’s website explains. “It is this love that we want to share with the world, especially those who aren’t fortunate enough to own a dog themselves, by inviting people to join our incredible pack of goldies for some much-needed doggy cuddles.”

The fluffy getaway even welcomes dog-friendly pups to visit with their owners, making the whole experience a family affair. Accommodations for guests with disabilities are also available, ensuring the park is open to any and all dog lovers. If you find yourself desperately missing some canine companionship, there may be no better place than this slobbery safe haven.

Father Figures: Just Us Guys

“Ever since I can remember, my dad has always given me everything I’ve ever wanted.

That may sound like I’m gloating but I’m really not. I think it shows the never ending love he has for his son.

My mother passed when I was 9 years old, after that it was just him and I for a while. Just us guys.

I’ll never forget eating Papa John’s pizza every Monday night watching WWE RAW. I am still a big fan to this day and he is a big reason for that.

I love you, Dad.”

– Chase Brooks

Want to share a story about fatherhood? Email [email protected]

Columbia Pictures’s Aquaverse in Thailand Will Feature Movie-Themed Rides and Attractions

Columbia Pictures Aquaverse opening in 2021
(Facebook/Columbia Pictures Aquaverse)

Few things feel better than fully immersing yourself in your favorite movies, escaping the real world for a while and embracing another reality entirely. While escapism through movies, TV shows, video games, and books is something we’ve relied upon heavily over the years, some of our favorite franchises are inviting us to take things a step further. Last year we learned about Super Nintendo World, a theme park with a Disney World feel but filled with all things Nintendo. Now, Columbia Pictures is following suit with a water park based around some of our very favorite movies.

The newly-announced Aquaverse water park is coming to Thailand thanks to Sony Pictures Entertainment and Amazon Falls. Rather than building the entire thing from the ground up, an existing Bangsaray water park is being given a real-life movie makeover.

Though other parks such as Universal Studios in Orlando have attractions based on movies from Sony-owned Columbia Pictures, Aquaverse will be the first to draw all of its inspiration from the production company’s films.

“We are creating opportunities for all audiences around the world to immerse themselves deeper into our stories through water parks, touring exhibitions, and theme park attractions,” Jeffrey Godsick, Sony Pictures Entertainment’s executive VP of global partnerships and brand management and head of location-based entertainment told Variety.

The park is set to open this coming October and will include both land and water attractions for the ultimate wave of family fun. Here’s just a preview of what you can expect from the one and only Aquaverse, courtesy of Variety:

A Men in Black water coaster includes a 12-meter free-fall, a fully-enclosed Ghostbusters-themed water dome where you can dodge ghost traps via raft, an outdoor neon Bad Boys-inspired go-kart track, and even a Jumanji jungle adventure.

You’ll also encounter rides and attractions inspired by classics like Surf’s Up and Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs to round out your movie-magic adventure. With nearly six months to go before the park opens, you have time to watch them all again before diving in IRL.

Disney’s Immersive Star Wars Resort Features Real Lightsaber

Rey holding a new Disney lightsaber
(Slashfilm)

Before the pandemic hit, Disney’s Star Wars themed park, Galaxy’s Edge had just opened, and promised to give visitors a one-of-a-kind experience. It’s so much like being in a Star Wars movie, one dad and his kid even filmed their own in between rides. But, then the park closed along with the rest of the world, and we’ve had to wait a whole year to spend way too much money pretending to be a Jedi Knight.

But not anymore! For May (the) 4th (be with you), the unofficial “Star Wars Day” Disney didn’t miss the opportunity to hype their newest draw to Galaxy’s Edge, Their Galactic Starcruiser… hotel? Ride? LARPing Convention?  It seems like it’s all that wrapped into one, and next summer, promises an even more immersive experience, complete with this:

Reportedly that’s not a camera trick. That’s a new kind of lightsaber -an apparently real one, created by Walt Disney Imagineering Research and Development for the Starcruiser experience. No word on if it can cut and cauterize wounds. But otherwise, during a stay on the Starcruiser, passengers will board a pod and “travel” to the Halcyon, the Galactic Starcruiser that will be their home/hotel for the 2-night adventure.

The Disney blog describes the whole experience, which sounds like living in a Star Wars movie, complete with familiar characters,  lightsaber training, secret missions and some terrible musical numbers courtesy of George Lucas’s refusal to stop messing with success.

According to the Disney blog, “This isn’t storytelling – it’s storyliving, where you’ll see, feel and live Star Wars in a whole new way.” It’s also story-goingbroke, as I’m sure you’d have to rob Jabba the Hutt to afford it.