9 Retro Bootleg Toys We Wish We Played With as Kids

(comicsalliance/lolshelf/bootlegactionfigures)

You have to admire the creators of crazy bootleg toys. Sure, they could make near-perfect replicas of popular toys to sell on the streets and in discount stores, but instead, they make bold, bizarre choices that are left completely unexplained.

For instance, making Thomas the Tank Engine a different color might have been good enough, but no… he’s also a giant Transformer with cannons for arms now because of course he is.

Yes, we could have given you a fun list of all the nostalgic retro toys you know and love, but why would we do that when we could show you the…

1. NEW STYLE NINJA TORTOISE

(lolshelf.com)


Stop playing with those old-fashioned Ninja Turtles and grab yourself the NINJA TORTOISE.

Sure, a tortoise is a land-dwelling creature and will probably be completely useless in the New York sewer system, but these guys have a rad ‘S’ on their belts, which obviously stands for “Style” (which is “new,” if you missed that up top).

Collect all four:

  • Blue mask – “Leonar-nope”
  • Purple mask – “Don’t-atello”
  • Red mask – “Rafa-hell-no”
  • Orange mask – “Maya Angelou”

2. “MR. T” MIGHTY CAR

(worthpoint)

I love it when a plan comes together to create a Frankenstein-like vehicular monstrosity featuring Mr. T.

Yes, you’ll need 3 “C” batteries to get this alternate universe A-Team star up and running, but be careful. He’s armed to the actual human teeth with both a submachine gun and a battle ax so you’re a target at any distance.

“I pity the fool who made me,” he says, most likely referring to Sid from Toy Story.

3. TITANIC-BOT

(YouTube/articulosdecoleccion)

You ever wonder what would have happened if the infamous ocean liner Titanic hadn’t sunk?

Would we even know about it today? What would all of those people done with the rest of their lives? And, most importantly, how would the Autobots utilize the ship in their fight against the Decepticons?

Wonder no longer, friends.

This bad boy actually floats in its boat form and, in its robot form, wields two pickaxes roughly the size of a city block—perfect for getting sweet, sweet revenge on a certain iceberg in the North Atlantic.

4. SPADER-MAN

(comicsalliance)

With all the different Spider-Man reboots over the years, a big change was expected sooner or later. This, however, was something we did not anticipate.

Spader-Man—presumably played by the illustrious James Spader—was a bold move by Marvel’s development team. It’s hard to know how exactly they plan on roping the casting change into the ongoing story; not to mention how the hell 58-year-old James Spader is going to fit in a red and blue spandex suit made for a high school student.

Not for us to know, I suppose…

5. BATBOT CHANGER

(YouTube/Phelan Porteous)

It’s ridiculous how much money Bruce Wayne wasted on boring projects when he could have been turning the Batmobile into a freaking Transformer.

He could be speeding down the highway and, at the press of a button, WHAM. He’s suddenly ready to fight Voltron or Godzilla or the Power Rangers’ Megazord.

(YouTube/Phelan Porteous)

Yes, we know none of those characters have ever attacked Gotham to begin with, but look at his knees! He has MISSILES on his KNEES, people. Who wouldn’t want that?!

6. ADVENTURE MAN

(Freakin' Awesome Network)

Oh no.

Look, I get that this guy is taking a page out of Rambo’s playbook with the whole “bazooka, bandana, and shirtless” vibe. But look at those eyes. He’s clearly seen some shit.

7. STAR KNIGHT

(bootlegactionfigures)

I’m all for making sure the police are adequately equipped to serve and protect their communities but I have yet to hear about a single precinct that requires a Sith Lord to fight crime.

First of all, slicing off limbs and choking people with your mind is always going to be considered police brutality. Not to mention, Darth Vader has a pretty long track record of killing his subordinates. Name one commissioner who would want to deal with that loose cannon.

Keep the “Force” out of the police force, please.

8. SPECIAL MAN

(comicsalliance)

Superman is awesome. His long list of superpowers makes him one of the most powerful heroes in comic book history and he’s the poster child for “truth, justice, and the American way.”

Special Man, however, while sharing the general look and iconic suit, is clearly a downgrade from the Man of Steel. His sad bubble cast packaging and cheaply painted ‘S’ only suggest mediocrity in all the other areas, too.

Does he have super strength? No, but he’s, like, super strong emotionally. Can he fly? Not by himself, but he’s a Delta Diamond Medallion member. Can he freeze things with his breath? No, but he made a damn good batch of popsicles yesterday.

9. NIGHTMARE FREDDY

(i-Mockery)

Compared to all of the other bootleg toys on this list, you might think ol’ Nightmare Freddy looks pretty good—solid packaging, nice artwork, relatively accurate design.

Look closer, though, and you see the cracks.

First, this Freddy must be raking in some serious cash with those clawed fingers because his leather razor glove is apparently gold now? And why is Freddy wearing a short-sleeved sweater in the artwork? I didn’t even realize that was a thing.

And to top it all off, the guy is wearing women’s loafers?!

(i-Mockery)

All in favor of rebranding this guy “Fashion-Nightmare Freddy,” say aye.

Ghostbusters 3: Bill Murray Is in and Dan Aykroyd Says It’s Scary

Ghost Busters Sequel
(Twitter/SonyPictures)

For years, there were rumors of a third Ghostbusters movie, and every time, something prevented it from happening. That something, for a long time, was Bill Murray, aka Dr. Peter Venkman, aka one of the most beloved comic actors of the past 40 years. His deal with the studio prevented them from making a new Ghostbusters without his consent.

Murray wasn’t happy with the second Ghostbusters movie, and apparently didn’t think enough of the multiple ideas floated around for a third movie to ever give his blessing and move forward. So instead of a third movie featuring the original quarter of paranormal investigators, we got 2016’s non-sequel featuring four new (female, which angered a whole bunch of toxic fanboys and misogynists) actors.

Murray had a cameo in that film, as a totally different character. And a few months ago, Jason Reitman, son of the first movie’s director, Ivan Reitman, announced his own plans for a remake/reboot/sequel/who knows.


Reitman’s version will also feature a whole new cast. But it takes place in the same universe as the original movie, and it sounds like Bill Murray might want to give it a go.

While promoting his appearance in the new Jim Jarmusch zombie movie, “The Dead Don’t Die,” Murray told IndieWire why he showed up in the all-female Ghostbusters, and let slip that he’d be willing to come back for the next one.

“I was in that movie just because they asked me, and I knew if I said no, I was saying I didn’t support that movie,” Murray explained. “I felt like, OK, I’m going to support them because I support them as people. So I did that one and I would do this next one.”

This is big news seeing as he was the monkey in the wrench of a sequel for years, but apparently, he’s come to terms with Peter Venkman.

“This franchise paid for my son’s college,” he said. “We made this thing. We are the caretakers of it. It’s a great thing and it was a really fun movie to make. It’s a real movie with some really funny stuff in it.”

They’re sure is. Here’s hoping Jason Reitman’s movie is even half as good as the 80s blockbuster. The odds definitely increase if Bill Murray is involved.

And what does OG Ghostbuster Dan Aykroyd have to say about all this? He recently told 660 News:

“Ivan Reitman’s son Jason has written a beautiful script, I can’t say too much about it but it’s going to get made and hopefully there’ll be some familiar faces. … It’s so different from even the first and second [movies]. This just takes it to a new generation and a new direction that is so warm, heartfelt and, indeed, quite scary when you confront some of the issues that are being discussed.”

He also revealed that he’s written a 1960s era prequel that he’s submitted to Jason Reitman. It follows the teenage years of parapsychologists Venkman, Spengler and Stantz.

Looks like big things are on the horizon when it comes to busting.

98-Yr-Old Mom Joins 80-Yr-Old Son at Nursing Home to Help Care for Him

98yr Old Takes Care of 80yr Son
(Twitter/AlturaLearning)

No one loves you like your mom loves you.

A mother’s love truly knows no bounds. From the day you’re born until the last day of her life, your mother’s children come first, and they will always be her babies. It’s the reason my mom still waits up for me when I visit home and go out with my wife. I’m in my forties, but I’m still her little boy.

And that’s nothing compared to one mom in Liverpool, England. Ada Keating is 98 years old, and her son is 80, and she’s still taking care of him as if he were still a baby.

Ada never married, and the pair have always lived together, until Tom moved into the Moss View Care Home in 2016, due to his need for extra care. But no extra care can match a mother’s TLC, so Ada followed him to Moss View a year later.

A former auxiliary nurse, Ada wanted to help look after her son.

“I say goodnight to Tom in his room every night and I’ll go and say good morning to him,” Ms. Keating, told the Liverpool Echo.

Mr. Keating is happy at his Moss View home and appreciates having his mother around. “They’re very good here and I’m happy to see my mum more now she lives here.”

Philip Daniels, who manages Moss View, is more than happy to accommodate the mother-son duo. “It’s very rare to see mothers and their children together in the same care home and we certainly want to make their time together as special as possible.”

As for Ada, her motivation is simple.

“When I get back he’ll come to me with his arms outstretched and give me a big hug. You never stop being a mum.”

Nintendo Fans Conflicted Over ‘Super Mario Land’ HD Remake

(Getty/GameMaster Magazine; YouTube/ShiryuGL)

With the celebration of Game Boy’s 30th anniversary this year, a lot of gamers have been reminiscing about their glory days on the delightful grey brick. Some, like ROM hacker Iván Delgado (@toruzz), even went as far as to revamp old classics—in this case, Super Mario Land.

Since Nintendo has never officially released an updated ‘DX’ version of the 1989 classic platformer, Delgado took some creative liberties and finally brought some color to the somewhat bizarre environment of Sarasaland.

He even gave the mustachioed plumber a facelift, redesigning the sprites for both Mario and Daisy to match their new vibrant surroundings.


As impressive as the changes are, fans are split regarding how it affects actual gameplay. Some love the changes while others comment that the new sprites cause problems with collision detection.

Considering this is simply a fan-made remake, everyone seems to be in agreement that Delgado has done something truly special to honor the game though, injecting a bit of life into a classic that sits proudly in our nostalgia centers.

The real question is, how does it stack up against the 2017 DX remake of Super Mario Land 2: 6 Golden Coins?

Dad’s ‘Stranger Danger’ Instinct Takes an Ironic, Hilarious Turn

Dad's Stranger Danger Mishap
(Getty/sylv1rob1 reddit/Plagmoid)

As a parent, it’s important to teach your children to be aware of their surroundings, steer clear of strangers and most importantly: if you see something, say something.

These are lessons we share with our kids in an attempt to keep them safe and to make sure that would-be creepers are brought to the attention of authorities.

However, one dad recently learned an important lesson of his own: Make sure your kids recognize you.

The father shared his story on Reddit’s “Today I Fucked Up” page.

His two boys noticed something at their school and as they’d be instructed to do, notified their dad about it.

“Over the course of the last week, my twin 7-year-old sons started telling me about a creepy man who sat in the parking lot at school and stared at them,” he wrote. “This morning, I finally took the initiative and called the school. They assured me that the situation would be handled.”

Feeling as though the school would address the leering stranger, the dad headed to work for the day.

“I’ve been doing electrical repairs on a facility near my sons’ school, and each day I park my work van in the school parking lot to eat lunch and use the WiFi. I wave to my sons as they go from one building to the building housing the cafeteria for lunch.”

Yes, you’ve probably figured out what the dad hadn’t quite pieced together yet.

TIFU by reporting a pervert to the School my sons go to. from tifu


“If you’re realizing that I’m the ‘pervert’ I reported, congratulations, you’re officially sharper than me. I didn’t realize it until 3 police cars surrounded my work van.”

Due to his hardhat, sunglasses, and unfamiliar vehicle, the boys never realized it was him.

One comment on the post speaks for most of us:


“After about a 30 minute conversation with the police and the principal, they decided I was a harmless moron and decided to let me go. I was, however, asked not to park my van there for lunch anymore.”

The post now has over 115k upvotes on reddit and the comments are all extremely commenty:




It sounds like everyone involved learned a very important lesson: reddit is still extremely entertaining.

Interlocking Pint Glasses Let You Grab the Next Round With Confidence

(Carling)

You probably don’t need an excuse to go grab a few beers, but here’s a good one.

British brewing company Carling has recently introduced a brand new pint glass designed to remedy a prevalent pub predicament.

The new glass – thinner at the bottom and with vertical grooves in the middle – will make carrying up to four pints back to your table a whole lot easier.

No one wants to make two trips or spill half the beer. These new interlocking glasses make those pitfalls a thing of the past thanks to what can only be assumed was decades of highly scientific research.

When carried together, the cups stay put thanks to the glass groves and even get an assist from the company’s embossed logo.

(Carling)

Miranda Osborne, Brand Director at Carling, said the company hopes the new glasses make trips from the bar a much more comfortable experience.

“We know our customers can feel uncomfortable leaving drinks on the bar because they can’t carry them all, so we wanted to design something that could help alleviate this problem. This is why we created our new easy carry glasses.”

Many companies have released groovy looking glasses over the years, however, Carling claims their new “easy carry” version is “the perfect glass for the perfect pint,”, a claim we plan on investigating post haste.

While you’re probably already rounding up a few buddies to go check it out, you may have to wait a while for the glass to make an appearance here in the US.

However for readers in the UK, the company has said these new glasses will be available soon at several locations including Wetherspoons, Greene Kings and Mitchells & Butlers – honestly, all of which sound made up to me but so do most things from across the pond.

Either way, chips, chips and cheerios and spot on, Carling!

Cheers!

New Cartridge-Based Handheld Is Coming to Satisfy Your Retro Game Fix

Evercade Cart Based Handheld
(Evercade)

With retro and handheld consoles really hitting their strides in the last year, it’s no surprise that other video game companies would try to get a piece of that nostalgia-filled pie, too.

That being said, there’s an upcoming handheld created by game company Evercade that’s aiming to scratch that retro itch that everyone seems to have lately.

(Evercade)

This system is going full throwback, too. Featuring a cartridge-based system and Famicom-esque design aesthetic, it looks like it was pulled directly out of the late-80s. Fortunately, the actual specs are a little more modern.

The Evercade features a 3.4-inch screen comparable to the PlayStation Portable and the ability to output to a TV via HDMI, similar to the Nintendo Switch. You’ll even have the option to change screen resolutions on the fly, switching between widescreen 16:9 format or the original 4:3.

(Evercade)

Until recently, not much was known about what kinds of titles would be playable on the system, but Evercade has since announced their first publisher to jump on board: Atari.

Their first cartridge will feature 20 classic Atari games including Centipede, Tempest, and Ninja Golf (yes, that is golf with frickin’ ninjas, y’all).

(Evercade)

There’s no solid release date for the system yet but we do know that there will be two separate bundles available: the Standard edition which comes with one cartridge for $79.99, or the Premium version with three cartridges for $99.99. It’s unlikely that the Evercade will be much of a competitor to the Nintendo Switch, but given its strong focus on retro games, there’s no reason why their fan bases can’t overlap.

You can stay up to date on future Evercade news by visiting their website here.

Parents are Making “Baby-Nups” to Divide Responsibilities

Baby Nups
(YouTube/CBS New York)

Nothing changes a relationship like the arrival of a baby. Never mind the lack of sleep, the increase in stress, the sheer amount of stuff. Caring for a newborn, a toddler, a preschooler, a teenager is hard! There’s a reason most people try to tackle it in twos.

But even couples struggle, and becoming a parent with your partner can often cause issues in your own relationship. What happens when one of you doesn’t pull your weight? Some enterprising couples are trying out a new solution to those potential problems by creating contracts via which they divide parenting duties.

According to a recent article in PARADE Magazine, they’re being called “Baby-Nups,” similar to the prenuptial agreement a couple might sign before they get married.

The article quotes Melissa Biggs, a lobbyist from Connecticut. “I remembered how exhausting and stressful it all was when we had our daughter, especially since I was breastfeeding and a lot fell on me.” So she created a chart to make sure it was a more equal division of labor.

Baby-Nups focus on expectations around disciplinary techniques, schooling, and spousal responsibilities. Sometimes they’re often just informal agreements or even simple chore charts, they are becoming increasingly popular ways for couples to make sure everything gets done. And not just by one of them.

If anyone has an opinion on this concept, it’s parents on social media, and they didn’t disappoint.

Some users thought dealing with all this stuff was just part of having kids:

Others thought the concept of adding contracts to parenthood defeated the purpose of the partnership:


Some called into question the suitability of your mate:


Brianna Manz, the NYC-based blogger behind Stroller in the City, created an organizational chore chart version of a prenup, but she admitted to CBS that it basically comes down to communication.

“I know it’s not written or even spoken about with Jason and I, it actually just works,” she said. “If parents just talk about it, it would work even better.”

What do you guys think? Would you sign a Baby-Nup?

Make a Tick Kit and Conquer Ticky Situations

Make a Tick Kit
(Getty/ SCIEPRO/SCIENCE PHOTO LIBRARY Scary Mommy/JENA WHISTON)

Pack away those sweaters and grab your cargo shorts – Warmer weather is on the way! While the change in season brings sunshine and milder temperatures, it also comes with a few caveats.

Seasonal allergies, spring cleanup and one of nature’s smallest but most dangerous species: the tick.

Ticks are most active during warmer months, however, exposure can occur year-round.

Besides being nature’s little vampire, ticks can carry many viruses, bacteria, and infections that can all be transmitted via a single bite.

Tick-borne infections are zoonotic — meaning they are passed from animals to humans. Similar to pests like mosquitos and fleas, ticks acquire diseases from rats and other small animals that they can then pass on to humans.

In addition, they carry on all of the infections inherited from their parents, meaning these tiny little SOBs could be potentially riddled with everything from Lyme disease to… well… some shit even scientists haven’t heard of before. Yikes.

So what can you do?

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has a few tips to help prevent exposure in the first place:

Know where to expect ticks.
Ticks live in grassy, brushy, or wooded areas, or even on animals. Spending time outside walking your dog, camping, gardening, or hunting could bring you in close contact with ticks. Many people get ticks in their own yard or neighborhood.

Treat clothing and gear with products containing 0.5% permethrin.
Permethrin can be used to treat boots, clothing and camping gear and remain protective through several washings. Alternatively, you can buy permethrin-treated clothing and gear.

Use Environmental Protection Agency (EPA)-registered insect repellents
EPA’s helpful search tool can help you find the product that best suits your needs.

While prevention is great, preparedness is even better.

Instead of panicking in the event you find a tick on you or your child – trying to google that tick removal video you saw on Facebook – why not make a tick kit right now?

What’s a tick kit you ask? Simple: a pair of tweezers, alcohol swabs, a few index cards to take notes, a Sharpie, and some clear tape tossed together in a Ziploc bag.

a Tick Kit
(Scary Mommy/Jena Whiston)

Sounds simple enough. You can even get fancy with these tick tweezers. Otherwise, you likely already have all these things just sitting around. But why add the frustration of looking for them in an emergency?

According to the CDC, if you find a tick attached to your skin, there’s no need to panic—the key is to remove the tick as soon as possible.

Avoid folklore remedies such as “painting” the tick with nail polish or using heat to make the tick detach from the skin. Your goal is to remove the tick as quickly as possible–not waiting for it to detach.

How to remove a tick

(cdc.gov)

  1. Use fine-tipped tweezers to grasp the tick as close to the skin’s surface as possible.
  2. Pull upward with steady, even pressure. Don’t twist or jerk the tick; this can cause the mouth-parts to break off and remain in the skin.
  3. After removing the tick, thoroughly clean the bite area and your hands with rubbing alcohol or soap and water.
  4. Never crush a tick with your fingers. You can dispose of a live tick by putting it in alcohol, placing it in a sealed bag/container, wrapping it tightly in tape, or flushing it down the toilet.

However, it’s a good idea to hold on to the dead tick with a few notes just in case you develop symptoms a few days or weeks later. This will help your physician identify the type of tick and have important information such as the date of the site and the location where it happened.

Tape the dead tick to an index card and write down as much information as possible.

Websites such as TickReport.com can even test these specimens. The tests are not intended to be a substitute for disease testing in humans, nor should the results be interpreted as providing a diagnosis. Personal information is kept in strict confidence, but the results of your tick test are made publicly available for people to see where ticks are found, when they are biting people, and what disease-causing microbes they are transmitting.

Now that you’ve removed and cataloged the little sucker, monitor the bite area closely. Symptoms are not always immediate and can present up to 30 days from the initial bite.

If you’re unable to remove the tick or you’re concerned there may be an infection, head to the nearest urgent care center or call your physician immediately.

While this all may sound like overkill, it’s better to be safe than sorry. Many of us have life insurance and health insurance. What’s wrong with a little tick insurance?

So don’t wait – make the kit. Right now!

Just a heads up, if you buy stuff using the provided links, The Dad may collect a small commission.