Being stuck at home for too long always leads to finding more things you want to fix up. With most of the country under some form of quarantine slash social distancing, people have taken to home improvement even more than usual. And that can lead to some fun discoveries, like finding caches of century-old bootlegged whiskey hidden throughout your house. OK, so that scenario is extremely unlikely, but that’s the reality for one couple that started renovating their home.

Nick Drummond and Patrick Bakker moved into an old home that neighbors said was built by a bootlegger. When they finally got to fixing the place up earlier this month, they were in for the surprise of a lifetime; they found old packages of bootlegged whiskey in secret walls and hiding places throughout the house.

Everything pairs better with booze, even, apparently, home improvements. But Bakker and Drummond got a lot more than they bargained for when they started fixing up their old house. Drummond started an Instagram account, “bootleggerbungalow”, to follow the home rehab, without expecting to find the actual proof of the home’s origins.

He told NBC he was removing trim outside when a package fell out of the wall.

 

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OUR WALLS ARE BUILT OF BOOZE! I can’t believe the rumors are true! He was actually a bootlegger! I mean I thought it was a cute story, but the builder of our house was ACTUALLY a bootlegger! #bootleggers #prohibition #historicpreservation #bootleggerbungalow #secretcompartment

A post shared by Nick Drummond (@bootleggerbungalow) on Oct 9, 2020 at 9:30am PDT

“When I saw the edge of another package it hit me, like holy crap, this is bootleg booze,” he said. “The thing is, it wasn’t just one, then it wasn’t just two, it was the entire wall.”

 

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This is too cool! It looks like these all date to the 1920s! #bootleggerbungalow #secretcompartment #hiddentreasures #historicpreservation

A post shared by Nick Drummond (@bootleggerbungalow) on Oct 9, 2020 at 9:32am PDT

They’ve found dozens of bottles of the bootleg whiskey so far, dating back to around 1923, during Prohibition in the state. The couple said they want to try at least one bottle of the whiskey and aren’t quite sure what to do with the rest of the discovery. They are contemplating leaving some of the packages there and putting in a glass panel on the floor, so you can see the hidden whiskey.

 

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The flat head screws beneath the floor are rusted in place, but we were able to get a board off that was covering the side of the joist bay, where the hatch was. More packages! #secretdoor #whatsinside #secretcompartment #historicpreservation #prohibition #renovation #bootleggerbungalow

A post shared by Nick Drummond (@bootleggerbungalow) on Oct 11, 2020 at 5:59am PDT

If you want to learn more about the house, and their quest to learn more about the history of the bootlegger who built it (and what happened to him), you can follow along @bootleggerbungalow@bootleggerbungalow.

Not many duos have the rich history of pairings that wine and cheese do. There may be splashier combos, like peanut butter and jelly, beer and pizza, but the wine and cheese have them whipped by centuries. So it’s not surprising to see a giant in the cheese game dip their toe into the grape alcohol industry. OK, maybe it is a little surprising to see Taco Bell create their own wine, but given you can get married at Taco bell, anything is possible these days.

The fast-food giant is debuting a custom wine, Jalapeno Noir, to pair with the toasted cheesy chalupa. Granted, this one may be a bit out there for some people. When it comes to food innovation, it doesn’t have quite the inevitability of Lucky Charms selling bags of their marshmallows or Cinnamon Toast Crunch selling their magic Cinnadust. But who hasn’t wanted to enjoy a Chalupa like a gentleman, with the perfectly paired wine?

The luxurious Toasted Cheesy Chalupa’s about to meet its bougie best bud. Bonjour, Jalapeño Noir. Available 09/16/2020 on https://t.co/qogDEKPnL8. #WineAndToastedCheesy pic.twitter.com/Vq5JV7MYIA

— Taco Bell Canada (@TacoBellCanada) September 14, 2020

Here’s the catch (there’s always a catch and it always comes midway through awesome news), you can only get it in Canada. It’s being sold on the Taco Bell Canada website and at some locations in Ontario. The cost for a bottle of Jalapeno Noir is $25 Canadian (about $19 in real money).

Taco Bell gave the combo the hard sell in their press release, calling the duo irresistible.

“The rich taste and crunchy texture of the beloved Toasted Cheesy Chalupa complements notes of wild strawberry, cherry and beetroot in this silky limited-editing red wine.”

While this is a fun, new idea for a brand, it’s still great to see them force as many buzz words as they can into a statement to class up the news even further. A spokesman for the brand said:

“Wine and cheese are simply meant to be together, so launching a new wine to go with the craveable, cheddary Toasted Cheesy Chalupa made perfect sense. At Taco Bell Canada, we love to raise our glass to big, bold ideas that elevate our menu items, and pairing our Toasted Cheesy Chalupa with this Jalapeño Noir is no exception.”

Here’s to big ideas indeed, and to one that many of us discovered on our own, Taco Bell pairs well with booze.

So uh, how’s virtual learning going? You know what, don’t answer that. Father of three and big-hearted goofball Ryan Reynolds feels your pain, and he’s here to help. Aside from his passions for acting and philanthropizing (just go with it), Reynolds takes his gin very seriously.

After acquiring a stake in Aviation Gin in 2018, Reynolds has become the face and the smartass behind the popular gin company. Reynolds is one of the rare celebrities who uses both his money and influence for good, and unsurprisingly, he’s doing the same with Aviation Gin. He donated 30% of his gin proceeds for over a month to bartenders suffering income loss due to COVID, and now, he’s got a little something for the parents.

Reynolds announced that Aviation Gin would be releasing a new product to give parents a little – uh – boost, while helping guide their kids through virtual learning.

“Aviation Home School edition. Official sponsor of Parent-Gin conferences,” Reynolds’s posted on Twitter, along with the special-edition gin’s commercial.

Aviation Home School edition. Official sponsor of Parent-Gin conferences. https://t.co/22d4p0Dbe6 pic.twitter.com/mClZQawMsb

— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) September 24, 2020

The commercial opens with Reynolds seated at a desk, staring at the camera with the powerful intensity of a dad who was just asked “what’s for dinner?” right after he threw a steak on the grill.

“It’s back to school time, which this year, has a whole new meaning,” Reynolds begins. “That’s why today, I’m introducing Aviation American Gin-” he says, slamming a huge freaking bottle down on his mahogany desk, “-Home School edition. It’s just like the classic delicious Aviation Gin that you love, but with more ounces.” Nearly 60 ounces, which should last, you know – a little while.

“It can help with a variety of subjects,” Reynolds continues, “Fourth-grade geography, whatever the f*** new math is. And revisiting your own long-forgotten middle school traumas.”

The commercial concludes with the hauntingly-familiar sound of a school bell, as Reynolds voices what we’re all thinking – “Middle school is the f****** worst.”

Sitting down with your kids to help them through virtual learning can leave you feeling like Billy Madison but without the cool hat. School was tough enough the first time through, but at least this time we can legally drink. Just, you know, save it for after class.

2020 has not been a normal year. Sometime around late February/early March, things got dark, and suddenly we were in the middle of a global pandemic that is still raging. Many of us were forced to quarantine inside our homes, away from our jobs and coworkers, families and friends, avoiding restaurants and movies and concerts and sporting events (that were canceled anyway). We’ve spent spring and summer in a bizarre situation that we’re yet to fully emerge from, even as the school year is beginning the start. To make matters worse, the supply of beer has already been threatened and so have the aluminum cans that beer comes in.

Needless to say, the COVID-19 outbreak and all its attendant complications have caused an inordinate amount of stress, and no one is immune to that. Which is why many of us have been drinking a bit more than normal. We’ve been drinking to lessen the stress, and we’ve been drinking to fill the time because frankly there isn’t all that much else to do. And it’s easy to crack another beer or pour another glass of wine as Netflix barrels through to the next episode. It’s understandable and even helpful in some ways.

But it can be detrimental too. And according to a new study, it’s starting to take its toll.

Back in April, the Wall Street Journal published an article about increasing drinking during the pandemic, amid a 20-year rise in Americans’ drinking. Now, a federal committee is recommending we cut back.

According to NBC News, later this year the U.S. Dietary Guidelines for Americans are being updated for the first time in five years, and they are now recommending no more than one drink a day for men. Since 1990, two drinks a day had been the suggestion, but as Americans drink more, that portion has been halved. And no, this doesn’t mean that skipping a few days means you can then add those drinks to your Friday night regimen!

“As a nation, our collective health would be better if people generally drank less,” said Dr. Timothy Naimi, an alcohol researcher at Boston University who is on the committee making these recommendations, and to whom we say “duh!” But I’m not so sure that includes our mental health, especially during a pandemic.

These are extraordinary times, and honestly, it seems like bad timing for a report suggesting we drink less. But too much of anything is a bad thing, physically and mentally, and while it may be difficult to adhere to one drink a day guidelines during these unprecedented times, we probably should be paying attention to how much we’re drinking. Because eventually these unprecedented times will end, and when they do, it won’t be the best look to leave quarantine with an enormous beer belly.

We all need something to look forward to. Especially now. Even as some states start reopening at reduced capacity, there are plenty of cities that are still on total lockdown. And let me tell you, when your city is on total lockdown and you discover that there is a Star Wars Cantina-themed bar within walking distance of your home, time starts moving very, very slowly.

 

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Have you ever danced with a droid in the pale cantina light? . . #scumandvillainycantina #scifisafehouse

A post shared by Scum & Villainy Cantina (@scumandvillainycantina) on Jun 29, 2017 at 8:12pm PDT

This LA establishment is called Scum and Villainy Cantina (of course) and it is a self-proclaimed “friendly neighborhood geek bar.” Before you start having kittens because you clicked on the website and saw a guy gesturing at you to ‘live long and prosper,’ know that this bar caters to all geeks, not just the Star Wars variety. That’s right, this is a place where Trekkies, Star Wars fans, Battlestar Galactica fans, and every fan of niche nerdom can come together and live (and drink) in harmony. Vulkans can rub shoulders with Jawas and Cylons can shoot pool with Dr. Who. You are encouraged to dress up and they even host geek-themed tournaments for a variety of properties:

 

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Which house will win our first ever Triwizard Tournament tonight? Tell us below! . Doors open at 5pm. Every participant will receive a challenger ribbon upon entry (while supplies last). ✨ First of three tasks will start at 7pm. Wearing your house colors or robes is strongly encouraged! . Houses meet your Head Girls! Gryffindor: @onlyalicat Hufflepuff: @thatjessiwills Ravenclaw: @thatprincessgirl Slytherin: @uncoolrockstar . . . #internationaldayoffriendship #scumandvillainycantina #nerdlife #hogwarts #slytherinpride #gryffindorpride #ravenclawpride #hufflepuffpride #cosplaylife #wizardingworld #triwizardtournament #geekbar

A post shared by Scum & Villainy Cantina (@scumandvillainycantina) on Jul 30, 2019 at 10:34am PDT

Some of their cocktails include The Mind Trick, Gold Bourbonkini, The Starbuck, Witness Me, Furiosa, I Aim to Misbehave, and the Dumbledore Special. Wondering what blue milk tasks like? This place has got you covered—and they’re even doing curbside pickup for those of us who can’t wait until the quarantine is over:

 

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🔸DETAILS FOR CURBSIDE COCKTAILS🔸 ⏩⏩Swipe for all the info regarding ordering your Wretched Blue Milk Snack Pack on #maythefourth! . . ⏰Monday May 4th: 2pm to 10pm See you there! #scumandvillainycantina #yourfriendlyneighborhoodgeekbar #bluemilk

A post shared by Scum & Villainy Cantina (@scumandvillainycantina) on May 2, 2020 at 9:46pm PDT

Just listen to how they describe themselves on their website:

Scum and Villainy Cantina is an intergalactic bar nestled deep within the wretched hive of Hollywood, CA. Inspired by the best drinking establishments from your favorite sci-fi and fantasy movies, Scum and Villainy is the geek bar you’ve been looking for.

Costumed bartenders join in the debate while mixing cocktails from a themed menu. Our laid-back atmosphere and strict “no bullying” mission creates a #ScifiSafeHouse not just for casual and mega-fans alike, but for anyone looking for a change of pace from the typical bar scene. Flying solo? Searching for your tribe? We definitely serve your kind here!

I will wait for you Scum and Villainy Cantina. I will wait for you as long as it takes.

Ingenuity is bred largely from necessity. Thomas Edison needed a light. The Wright Brothers were really late for something. Alexander Graham Bell feared his tone was being misinterpreted over the telegraph.

And then, other times, genius just sort of happens for no discernible reason.

“It was a nice day and I was pretty drunk and just knocked it all together.”

That’s Dave Tonks, the 53-year-old pest control technician who, with his partner Lisa, cobbled together this astounding Jack Daniels whiskey fountain. This staggering beauty is composed mostly of things they found lying around the garden, minus the liquor bottles, which Dave had been saving to repurpose as candles.

“It was my partner’s idea to make a water feature out of them,” Dave said in an interview with LAD Bible. “She did most of the design, to be fair.

Now, before you get up under there like some eager baby bird or unruly teenager sampling Slurpee flavors, it should be noted the “whiskey” here is merely really weak coffee. “I would love to try it with real JD and Coke, but it would cost a fortune,” Dave sighed.

You can watch the spirit fountain in action, in all its smoke-machiney, LED-lit goodness, right here:

As more and more places shutter their doors, some businesses are shifting production while others are shifting gears. One restaurant, the Bovine & Barley in downtown Houston, has taken to the streets in a grownup ice cream truck of sorts, delivering frozen cocktails right to their customers’ doorsteps.

The badass employees of this bar are masked up and fully equipped to assist folks from Midtown to The Heights in making the most of the gorgeous Texas springtime.

Whether you’re in the mood for a margarita, Moscow mule, daiquiri, mojito, michelada, or maybe just a good ol’ fashion pina colada, Bovine & Barley’s got the cure for what ails ya.

You can even score chips for just a buck.

Sadly, Bovine & Barley can only deliver to the good people of Houston, so it’s on us to safely circulate petitions within our respective communities that demand Frozen Cocktail Trucks become a thing of normalcy when we all get through this. Call your city councilperson.

Click here to follow Bovine & Barley on Facebook. Cheers, Houston!

Well, now there’s a UNO drinking game. You just shuddered, didn’t you? You heard “UNO drinking game” and your brain went right to the Wild Draw Four card and you shuddered. Yes. It’s as brutal as you think.

The good folks at Spriinkle Me Piink have taken the classic card game — a game rooted in alliance, betrayal, rage, and sadism — and added booze.

The rules are as follows:

DRAW TWO: Take one shot. No biggie.

DRAW FOUR: Take two shots and thank your lucky stars it wasn’t four.

REVERSE: Whoever gets reversed takes two shots. We’re not sure if “gets reversed” here means the person who didn’t get to go or the person you reverse it back to. Either way, someone’s calling you a dick.

SKIP: The person who gets skipped takes a shot.

FALSE UNO: This is when someone has one card left but forgets to say “UNO.” It’s an honest mistake and we’ve all been there. No sweat. Just be more mindful next time. Just kidding, that’s three fucking shots.

The set, currently $26.12 on the Spriinkle Me Piink Etsy store, comes with a box of UNO cards, one laminated rule card, six UNO shot glasses, and custom Drunk Uno carrying case personalized with your name.

We know some of you are thinking, wait a minute! In UNO, if Player 1 throws a Draw Four, and Player 2 throws a Draw Four on top of it, Player 3 then has to draw eight cards. Will Player 3 have to take four shots? What if Player 3 has a third Draw Four card? Does Player 4 then take six shots? I’m not taking six shots.

And to those people we say hey: those cards say wild for a reason.

Who doesn’t love a good game of Jenga? Extracting wooden blocks with the deliberation of an engineer and the hands of a surgeon, moving said blocks to the top of an increasingly rickety structure, and howling like lunatics when the tower inevitably topples over. Everyone emerges the victor, save for one loser tasked with cleaning up the mess they alone made.

It’s a sport of kings.

The only thing that could make it more fun?

Booze.

We’re all familiar with Drunk Jenga, aka Tipsy Tower, a variation that incorporates time-tested drinking game rules. Each block pulled is inscribed with a command, rule, or mini-game. Take shots, give shots, rhyming challenges, things of that nature.

Yeah yeah, we know. It’s been done.

But!

What if we told you someone has integrated Jenga with booze by literally integrating Jenga with booze? Introducing Little Tipsy Jello Shot Towers.

Built and sold by the Etsy store Stone Point Woodwork, the Little Tipsy Jello Shot Tower is exactly what it sounds like. It’s way bigger than your standard-issue Jenga stack, standing at a colossal 27 inches. This is because hidden throughout the 54 blocks are 25 holes in which you can comfortably nestle 25 Jello shots.

Literal game changer.

“Fifteen of the blocks in this tower contains single holes for Jello shots and five of the blocks contain double holes,” reads their Etsy page. “Pull the block with the shot/shots and you take them or share with a friend!”

This update of the Hasbro classic looks like a rollicking good time, and the inclusion of alcohol should pose no safety issues as long as you don’t keep adding to a really high Jenga. Speaking of which, nobody invent High Jenga.

Good news is always welcome, and never more so during tough times. A global pandemic definitely qualifies, and thankfully, despite the fear and panic and uncertainty, we’ve had no shortage of good news over these past few weeks. Movie studios are stepping up to give us new content sooner, celebrities are making questionable music videos and Twitter is mocking them, and athletes are doing their best to protect the arena employees and team staff who don’t have six and seven-figure bank accounts.

Today we get another positive bit of news from a famous actor who really seems like a fun hang and a good guy. His name is Ryan Reynolds, and when he’s not playing Deadpool and cracking jokes on Instagram or donating $1 million to food banks – he’s running a gin company that’s making a name for itself both for its product and its marketing.

Whoever is running things back there, whether it’s Reynolds or somebody else, knows how to do things. Their Peloton rebuttal was clever and subtle, and their recent Leap Day ad was hilarious. And now they’re getting their name out there in the service of a good cause: helping protect bartenders who are losing income during the Coronavirus.

“Until May 1st, for every bottle of Aviation ordered online, we’ll donate 30% of proceeds as a tip to your bartenders – who REALLY miss you btw. Visit http://AviationGin.com/delivered #TipYourBartenders #StayHomeSaveLives,” Reynolds wrote on Twitter on Tuesday.

Until May 1st, for every bottle of Aviation ordered online, we’ll donate 30% of proceeds as a tip to your bartenders – who REALLY miss you btw. Visit https://t.co/elT2zrCgE0 #TipYourBartenders #StayHomeSaveLives pic.twitter.com/77tVacDGBM

— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) March 24, 2020

Bartenders among the many service professionals who have lost income due to the shutdown, and being that those people are responsible for serving Reynold’s gin more often than not, it makes sense that his company would support them. It’s also a savvy business movie, sure to endear Aviation Gin to bartenders everywhere who benefit from the contributions the brand is making.

The Aviation Gin website also states that they’ve already kickstarted things by starting a tab and putting in $15,000 already.

“We’re available at home – where we hope you are right now – but your bartenders miss you. So we’ve started a tab by donating $15K to the United States Bartender’s Guild and will be adding an additional 30% tip for every bottle delivered through May 1st.”

Of course, Reynolds has a personal reason to help bartenders, as he shared in another tweet after news began to spread.

In fairness, I wouldn’t be the father I am today without bartenders. @AviationGin https://t.co/OzyV3PAfvF

— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) March 25, 2020

Amen to that.

Keeping your hands clean has never been a bigger national imperative than it is now. It can be even more difficult with kids, as they enjoy vigorously protesting whatever hygiene rules you throw at them. Hand sanitizer is always great in a pinch, a few squirts are an acceptable substitute. Problem is, you can’t get it anywhere.

Hand sanitizer has gone the way of toilet paper and paper towels, vanished into the wind, relegated to rumors and hushed whispers at grocery stores. It’s even become a prize at some arcades. But some distilleries have decided to fill that void with the product they know best: alcohol. Distilleries across the country have started creating their own hand sanitizer, using alcohol and a few other cheap, easy-to-access ingredients.

A distillery in Atlanta was among the first, creating and bottling their own hand sanitizer, which they gave away for free to people in the community. They made it with aloe vera gel and 95 percent ethanol.

 

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Thank you to the community for its overwhelming support! Because of the large turnout we received, we are currently out of hand sanitizer at the moment. We are waiting on a shipment of ingredients to arrive Monday, at which time we will resume production. We will be making a post next week to keep you updated once we have more available. Thank you for your understanding and we’ll see you next week! If you would like to donate to help us make more for our community (not necessary at all) we now have a link in our bio available.

A post shared by Old Fourth Distillery (@oldfourthdistillery) on Mar 13, 2020 at 3:37pm PDT

Shine Distillery in Portland is doing the same thing. They started using waste alcohol from making spirits and using it to create hand sanitizer for the community. The owner talked with local authorities and found out they could distribute it as long as it was free. They also curated a great list of songs/lyrics you can sing to fill out the time required for a thorough handwash.

Shine Distillery in N. Portland is now bottling hand sanitizer to give to customers. The owner said they already used the concoction to clean around the place anyway! It’s made from a byproduct of the alcohol they bottle. 80% alcohol, xanthan gum, and a little water. pic.twitter.com/OnGuBIs0WM

— Audrey Weil (@audreytweil) March 10, 2020

“Ultimately, I’m part of the community, I want my friends and neighbors to be happy and healthy,” he told a local news outlet. “All my neighbors getting sick and going down doesn’t do me any good. I want to be in a healthy community, and it feels good to be able to give back.”

Other distilleries across the country are coming to the rescue, whether it’s by donating sanitizer to shelters or making it readily available to the community. Hopefully, it’s a trend that continues to spread, as people realize that distilleries are here for us in hard times in more ways than one.

“We are in a national emergency,” said brewery founder Chad Butters. “What’s the right thing to do? The right thing to do is support this community by providing something that is in desperate need. We’ll flood the valley with hand sanitizer and drive that price right down.”

Here at The Dad, we hope you, your families, and communities stay safe and healthy during the COVID-19 pandemic. For the latest information, please utilize online resources from local public health departments, the Centers for Disease Control, and the World Health Organization to remain as informed as possible.

Starting their own liquor brands is a hot new thing for celebrities to do. George Clooney has his Casamigos Tequila, Sammy Hagar was way ahead of the curve with his Caba Wabo label, and Ryan Reynolds recently joined the fray with Aviation Gin. I haven’t had his gin yet, but if it’s anywhere near as good as the marketing, I’m sure I’ll enjoy it.

Earlier this year, Reynolds and Aviation Gin took advantage of the Peloton Christmas commercial controversy by enlisting the star of that ad for a commercial of their own. The Aviation ad focused on the aftermath of the cycling machine commercial, in which a wife received a – depending on your opinion – insulting gift and then took solace in her friends, and her martini. It was a clever way to insert Aviation into a conversation that was already happening.

Now Reynolds and company are back with another clever ad, this one coinciding with Leap Day, which passed over the weekend. February 29th only happens once every four years, leaving those born on that day with a rare birth date. The new ad features one such Leap Day, aka ‘leapling’, birthday girl, focusing on the fact that despite being around for 84 years, she’s technically only had 21 birthdays.

And she wants her first legal drink to be Reynolds’ Aviation Gin.

Check out the ad – and stay tuned for the closing punchline:

The new year is a time for change. The changing of the calendar offers many people a new start, and an opportunity to use resolutions as motivation to change your life and improve some things. It’s why many people decide to abstain from alcohol for the month of January; what better time to start than the beginning of the year?

Unfortunately, it’s not that easy to change your lifestyle and to break bad habits. For some of us, it’s downright impossible. For one man in particularly, going dry is simply not an option. And you won’t believe why.

A 46-year-old man who rarely drinks alcohol nevertheless finds himself in a case of frequent drunkenness, thanks to a rare condition. It’s called auto-brewery syndrome, and for years it lead his friends and family to suspect he was a secret drunk, despite his protestations otherwise. He was clumsy, suffered from brain fog, and even got pulled over for suspicion of DWI. But it was all because of his disease, according to NBC News.

His seemingly drunken state was the result of auto-brewery sydrome, a rare condition in which his body turns carbohydrates into alcohol. So whenever he ate bread, or pizza, or drank soda, fermenting bacteria in his gut turn the sugar into ethanol, leading to “extreme blood alcohol levels.”

A man who said he never drank alcohol but often appeared drunk actually had a rare condition called auto-brewery syndrome, in which his gut began producing alcohol whenever he ate carbohydrates, a new case study says. https://t.co/Dk4aD9zIkD pic.twitter.com/DOy6WVACBN

— WebMD (@WebMD) February 6, 2020

For the 46-year-old, it all started in 2011 after he took antibiotics for a thumb injury, causing the aforementioned fermenting bacteria to grow unchecked in his stomach. Suddenly his behavior began to change, and his friends and family, even his doctors and the occasional policeman began to suspect he was a closet alcoholic.

“He was unable to function and it was mainly after meals,” Dr. Fahad Malik, told TODAY about the case. “No one believed him.” Dr. Fahad wrote in the case report of the patient’s struggles to convince people that he wasn’t drinking: “The hospital personnel and police refused to believe him when he repeatedly denied alcohol ingestion.”

So while always being drunk sounds fun – not needing to buy beer with your pepperoni pie is certainly cheaper – it’s easy to imagine how severely it can impair one’s ability to live a normal life. How do you work if every time you have a donut with your morning coffee you get buzzed?

Eventually, doctors were able to monitor the patient and confirm the condition, finally putting him on probiotics to get his gut back to normal. A year later, his symptoms were gone, and he could once again enjoy pizza without getting punchy.