15 “Dads Love…” Dad-Isms To Remind You Fathers Are Freakin’ Funny

Science hasnât been able to explain it, but something happens when you become a dad. One day youâre looking up Air Jordans online, and the next, you have a pair of New Balance sneakers for every occasion. Inexplicably, you can now fall asleep almost anywhere in roughly the amount of time it takes to sit down. You belong to more than one group dedicated to lawnmowers. When your kid says âIâm hungry,â something inside of you demands that you respond âhi hungry, Iâm dad.â We call that a âdad-ism,â (and there’s an app for that!) and somehow, your brain has downloaded every single one like some sort of app that you canât disable.
Fortunately, here at The Dad, we celebrate dad-isms. There are few things quite as satisfying as pulling out a perfectly-timed dad-ism, watching your kids roll their eyes so hard it looks like they might fall out. Having your dad-isms on point at all times is essential – you never know when youâll pass a wind farm and have to say, âlook, my biggest fans.â Thereâs no way to anticipate watching your kids âoohâ and âahâ over a big group of ships before reminding them that itâs a âfleeting pleasure.â
We love dad-isms – in fact, we love them so much that weâve created a 2021 calendar filled to the brim with âem. 365 days of eye-rolling, knee-slapping, pun-packed goodness. Enjoy it on your own, or give it to a fellow dad (if you do, make sure you reference your âtearableâ gift at least three times).
BTW, it’s only $16, because they’re 20% off….because we know you’re not a bank and because money doesn’t grow on trees. The discount will show at checkout.
Here are 15 dad-isms to get your motor running, and hopefully, make you laugh.
And to that, we say, âhi laugh, Iâm dad.â
1.
Dads love leaving dishes in the sink “to soak” and counting the job as done.
â The Dad (@thedad) November 5, 2020
2.
Dads love standing around with the trash bag on Christmas morning to collect any wrapping paper the minute it hits the ground
â The Dad (@thedad) December 10, 2020
3.
Dads love saying âthatâs a scary maskâ to a kid who is not wearing a mask
â The Dad (@thedad) October 31, 2020
4.
Dads love saying “long time, no see!” when they see someone twice in one day.
â The Dad (@thedad) November 23, 2020
5.
Dads love saying “glad we’re not going that way” when they see traffic on the other side of the freeway
â The Dad (@thedad) December 4, 2020
6.
Dads love saying “Back already? How was it?” when you run back inside because you forgot something.
â The Dad (@thedad) May 19, 2020
7.
Dads love saying “Nice of you to join us” when you get out of bed after sleeping in.
â The Dad (@thedad) May 25, 2020
8.
Dads love saying âno your other rightâ when someone mistakes left for right
â The Dad (@thedad) December 26, 2018
9.
Dads love saying “I’m just resting my eyes” when they are caught sleeping.
â The Dad (@thedad) May 31, 2020
10.
Dads love saying “You’re goin’ the wrong way” when they see someone leaving work while they’re walking in.
â The Dad (@thedad) June 3, 2020
11.
Dads love knowing what roads you took to get somewhere and then telling you why that route is not the fastest
â The Dad (@thedad) August 3, 2020
12.
Dads love telling kids to turn off the dome light in the car because it’s illegal.
â The Dad (@thedad) May 25, 2020
13.
Dads love telling kids âoh no theyâre comin for yaâ when they hear police sirens
â The Dad (@thedad) March 3, 2019
14.
Dads love quoting movies that came out before their kids were born and then telling them the entire movie to explain the quote.
â The Dad (@thedad) June 9, 2019
15.
Dads love saying “Can’t get very far without these” when they come right back in the house after forgetting their car keys
â The Dad (@thedad) April 24, 2019
You can buy one for $16 right here. (Originally $20, 20% discount will show at checkout!)