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Live-Action Hercules Adaptation by Russo Brothers Should Star Danny DeVito

By Mike Julianelle
Danny DeVito Live Action Hercules
(Twitter/LaylaHoldway Disney/20th Television)

People really love Danny DeVito.

The admiration and respect for, not to mention the enjoyment of, the actor spreads across generations. The other day I wrote a piece about a new animated show he’s on and I detailed his long-running career, which started with prestige films and is still going strong with the somewhat disreputable Always Sunny sitcom. Even little kids love the little Italian guy who knows no limits, thanks to memorable roles in Matilda, and the Disney movie Hercules.

DeVito played Philoctetes in the 90s animated flick which featured Tate Donovan as the titular demigod and James Woods as Hades. Phil was a satyr – half-goat, half-man – who serves as Hercules’s sidekick and trainer. And now that the movie is apparently the next in line to get the live-action treatment – from the directors of Avengers: Endgame, no less – and fans are clamoring for DeVito to reprise his role.

People all over twitter fan-casting the live-action remake, and while there is some debate over the different parts, they’re adamant that DeVito is the only person to play Phil.

No word yet on who is playing whom, or even when we’ll see the new movie, but here’s hoping Disney realizes how popular Danny DeVito is and does the right thing!

Michael Jordan Donates $2 Million To Food Banks in Chicago and Carolina

By Mark Chalifoux
Jordan Donation
(Twitter/FeedingAmerica)

Itā€™s the season of giving, and Michael Jordan once again proved why heā€™s a GOAT by making a huge donation to Feeding America to help the nearly 80 million food-insecure Americans during the holidays. During Thanksgiving week, Jordan donated $2 million to the organization supporting food banks around the country.

Jordan has proven his charitable side during the pandemic, as he helped fund two health care centers for uninsured people in his current hometown in North Carolina. Itā€™s a huge gift from the sports legend that made a tremendous impact on those at-risk communities. And now, Jordan is helping feed the hungry in Chicago and North Carolina by gifting the proceeds of the recent ā€œLast Danceā€ documentary on his final season.

Feeding America announced the gift and described it as ā€˜an incredible gift to be thankful forā€™ and said it would help feed their neighbors. Jordan, for his part, released a statement acknowledging the donation.

“In these challenging times and in a year of unimaginable difficulty due to COVID-19, it’s more important than ever to pause and give thanks,” he said. “I am proud to be donating additional proceeds fromĀ The Last Dance to Feeding America and its member food banks in the Carolinas and Chicago to help feed America’s hungry.”

The NBA Hall of Famer is certainly trying to rewrite his next chapter, as heā€™s been on a major philanthropic phase in the last year, with this gift, opening two health care centers for the uninsured, and with a $100 million gift over 10 years to fight racial inequality.

Jordan continues to cement his legacy as the GOAT.

Dad Keeps Thanksgiving Tradition Alive By Taking Post-Dinner Nap Over Zoom

By Ben Kleinman
Dad Takes Nap on Zoom
(Getty/Dylan Ellis)

CHULA VISTA, CA ā€“ While the Christiansen family was unable to gather in person this year for Thanksgiving due to the pandemic, 41-year-old Jason Christiansen, a father of two, wasnā€™t about to let that stand in the way of tradition, as he set up a Zoom call so that the entire family could watch him take a post-dinner nap.

ā€œIt just wouldnā€™t be Thanksgiving without Uncle Jason passing out on the couch,ā€ said Jasonā€™s niece Debbie, who along with the rest of the family played some virtual boardgames over Zoom while the audio from Jasonā€™s snores intermittently cut in and out of the call.

While there was a brief moment where the entire Zoom call paused to see if Jason was waking up, it proved that he was just switching positions from one where the laptop camera showed an unflattering angle of his double chin to an even less flattering angle revealing his belly peeking out from beneath his shirt.

ā€œItā€™s been a strange year, but it felt refreshingly normal to watch my brother fall asleep after consuming his weight in mashed potatoes,ā€ said Jasonā€™s brother Henry, who was grateful that Jason had upgraded to a premium Zoom account so that the family didnā€™t miss a single second of him napping.

As the entire family said their goodbyes and signed off the Zoom call around 10pm, it wasnā€™t until 3am that Jason finally woke up from his lengthy Turkey-induced nap and finally shut his laptop screen before immediately going to bed so he could sleep off the rest of the meal.

Despite being completely plausible to parents, THIS JUST IN is satire and intended for entertainment purposes only. For more stories like this one click here.

Tyler Perry Feeds 5,000 Families at Drive-Thru Thanksgiving Food Giveaway

By Mark Chalifoux
Tyler Perry Thanksgiving Giveaway
(Getty/Albert L. Ortega Twitter/emilieIkedaFOX5)

When it comes to famous people, 2020 has shown us who the true GOATS are, the ones who help people in their greatest hour of need and go above and beyond in delivering that help. And itā€™s also shown us the ones who are astonishingly silent during this time or paying only lip-service when it comes to making a difference. You probably donā€™t need a reminder, but Tyler Perry is indisputably in that first group. That’s why he was recently crowned the people’s champ.

Perry has always had a philanthropic heart, giving to the people and charities that make a difference. But heā€™s kicked it up a gear during COVID times. He bought groceries for thousands of seniors during the height of pandemic paranoia, he went above and beyond to get his studio open safely so he could get people back to work, worked with local law enforcement to get gift cards to families in need, gave away $20,000+ in tips at his favorite restaurant, and is just an all-around good guy. Now, heā€™s helping feed people on Thanksgiving.

His studio announced the news of a giveaway of non-perishable food items and gift cards to the first 5,000 families who came by. The poster for the Thanksgiving giveaway said they wished they ā€˜could feed everyoneā€™, but wanted to do what they could during a time when so many are food-insecure.

In a sign of how much itā€™s needed, cars started lining up THE DAY BEFORE the giveaway, like they were selling Playstation 5s. The long line even caused traffic problems.

Perry has given back during the holidays before, most notably a couple years back when he paid off $500,000 of layaway balances at Walmart for families. And this Thanksgiving give-away is another that will not soon be forgotten.

This should be the new barometer for charity work. If youā€™re causing traffic, it tells you what youā€™re doing is substantial, and it also tells you there are a lot of people in need, and hopefully his generosity inspires others to give back however they can during the holiday season.

Dad ā€œReally Sadā€ That Vegan Relatives Can’t Attend Thanksgiving Amid Covid

By Ben Kleinman
Dad Sad on Thanksgiving
(Getty/PeopleImages)

CHESAPEAKE, VA ā€“ The COVID-19 pandemic has forced families to alter their Thanksgiving plans this year, meaning 36-year-old Greg Jeffries wonā€™t be able to host a big family gathering like normal, which in turn has left him ā€œutterly distraughtā€ over the fact that his vegan relatives wonā€™t be attending.

ā€œIā€™m heartbroken, absolutely heartbroken,ā€ said Greg while stuffing the tofurkey he bought last week straight into the trash, which he would have been forced to make for his sister-in-law and her husband before they ultimately canceled their travel plans.

While Greg also claimed to be sad that his meat-eating family members wouldnā€™t be coming to dinner this year, he made a point to stress that he was extra ā€œinconsolableā€ and ā€œunsure if he would ever find happiness againā€ over the fact that his vegan relatives wouldnā€™t be showing up and bringing vegan side dishes that took up valuable table space.

ā€œTears of joy? No, Iā€™m really sad,ā€ said Greg, who had tears running down his face when he pulled the delicious, meaty turkey out of the oven that he and his wife would be sharing without any concern for the dietary restrictions of others.

As Greg and his wife sat down to enjoy a smaller than usual Thanksgiving together, he realized that by this time next year the entire family would be able to gather safely again, vegans included. It was this realization that made him truly sad for the first time all day.

Despite being completely plausible to parents, THIS JUST IN is satire and intended for entertainment purposes only. For more stories like this one click here.

Former NFL Star Gives Away 200 Thanksgiving Turkeys

By Mark Chalifoux
Marshawn Lynch handing out turkeys
(Twitter/RobDeMelloKHON)

Once a famous athlete retires, the sports world is quick to forget them. If they suddenly pop back up in the news, itā€™s not usually a good sign, but Marshawn Lynch is a clear exception to this. The former All-Pro running back who led the Seattle Seahawks to a pair of Super Bowls made news this week for his charitable side, as Beast Mode handed out 200 free turkeys to families in Hawaii (where he lives).

Big charitable efforts from celebrities are usually PR stunts, tied into a vague sounding foundation without a clear impact on helping people (this isnā€™t to dog all charities, some obviously do major good). Then thereā€™s the other side of it, where people give directly to those in need. Like Josh Gad giving money to laid-off Disney workers, or Tyler Perry buying groceries for senior citizens.

Beast Mode falls into that category, as he not only helped buy turkeys for 200 fams, he donned the PPE and handed them out himself.

Officially, he partnered with Youngā€™s Fish Market and his foundation, Fam1stFamily, to pull off the Thanksgiving giveaway. Former star football player at Hawaii, Chad Owens, also helped pass out the turkeys, and said they were ā€œblessedā€ to have Marshawn out there donating turkeys and that he was there ā€˜to help and support Marshawn in his wanting to give this Thanksgiving season.ā€

Lynch has always been a big force of giving back to the community, as heā€™s participated in numerous food drives, built a school in Haiti, bought a soul food restaurant so it wouldnā€™t have to close and much more. And he also does stuff like this, which will make a big difference for a few hundred families on Thanksgiving. In the spring, he drove around on a golf cart handing out face masks to people to help stay safe during the pandemic.

Lynch was a terror on the field (hence the Beast Mode nickname), and though he was never a big interview off the field, his actions speak much louder to his character than any words couldā€™ve.

 

Florida Man Becomes a Hero After Prying His Puppy From the Jaws of an Alligator

By Yael Meshulam
Florida man saves puppy from alligator
(YouTube/Inside Edition)

Buckle up folks, Florida Man is back. This isnā€™t your typical Florida Man story though – this time, FloridaMan is the superhero we desperately needed. While out walking near his backyard pond as heā€™s done countless times in the past, 74-year-old Richard Wilbanks had an encounter he wonā€™t soon forget. Wilbanks took his 3-month-old puppy out for a walk, and unfortunately, a hungry alligator was quietly lurking under the pondā€™s surface.

Typically, when we see videos of alligators, itā€™s their powerful jaws and mammoth size that makes our blood run cold. Our only saving grace (or so we thought) is that their legs, though clawed and terrifying, are disproportionately small. They donā€™t seem like theyā€™d be the most coordinated of creatures, let alone the fastest. But as Wilbanks, unfortunately, found out, a nearby snack is enough motivation for these short-legged predators to kick it up a notch.

“We were just out walking by the pond,” Wilbanks told CNN, “and it came out of the water like a missile. I never thought an alligator could be that fast. It was so quick.”

Before Wilbanksā€™s brain could catch up with his adrenaline-fueled body, the Florida retiree was in the pond with beloved puppy, his hands wrapped around the jaws of the alligator. He managed to keep the young alligator still as he poured all of his effort into prying open its powerful jaws.

After a Herculean struggle that was caught on nearby security cameras, our hero freed his helpless pup from the nearly 4-foot-long alligatorā€™s grip. As if the remarkable save wasnā€™t impressive enough, this absolutely beast of a man held his cigar in his mouth throughout the entire encounter (which is honestly the most Florida Man thing we can imagine).

Wilbanksā€™s hands were cut badly from the alligatorā€™s teeth, but after a trip to the doctor and a tetanus shot, heā€™s healing well. As for his puppy Gunner, incredibly, the dog was less injured than he was. With a single puncture wound on his abdomen, a trip to the vet was all he needed before returning home for some much-needed rest.

As for the alligator, well, he didnā€™t get his meal. But because of a partnership between the Florida Wildlife Federation and fSTOP, an organization geared towards conservation education through photography, residents of the area value living alongside native wildlife.

Wilbanks told CNN, “They’re part of nature and part of our lives.”

He explained that he didnā€™t want the alligator removed or hurt in any way, but he will be taking precautions by walking farther from the pond in the future.

“Our pets, they’re just like family to us,” Wilbanks said.

You hear that, alligators? Dogs are friends, not food.

Dog Climbs Into Dryer To Get Warm

By The Dad

Dad’s Next-Level Responses To ā€œIs the Baby Ok?ā€ Are Both Brilliant and Hilarious

By Yael Meshulam
Dad Answers "is the baby ok?" in a hilarious way
(Instagram/onadventurewithdad)

Becoming a parent can make even the most rational people develop a laundry list of irrational fears. This helpless human is entirely your responsibility, making even the most mundane decisions inexplicably stressful. Sometimes this new-parent paranoia (parent-noia?) happens in both parents, but when one parent manages to keep their cool, occasionally, hilarity ensues.

Kenny Deuss from Antwerp, Belgium is the father of nearly 2-year-old Alix. When Alix was younger, Kennyā€™s girlfriend had just a touch of parent-noia – as a new dad, Kenny took on the all-important dad responsibility of providing levity (at somewhat inopportune times).

Any time Kenny and Alix were hanging out alone, Kennyā€™s girlfriend would frequently check-in. ā€œIs the baby ok?ā€ became a question Kenny heard all too many times, so he decided to provide some unorthodox answers. Rather than a simple ā€œyeahā€ or ā€œeverythingā€™s fine,ā€ Kenny sent his girlfriend photoshopped images demonstrating quite the opposite.

This talented dad sent his girlfriend pictures of Alix photoshopped into all sorts of questionable situations, I assume, to prove that he had things so under control that he had time to do some top-tier editing.

Soon, any time Kennyā€™s girlfriend asked, ā€œIs the baby ok?ā€ she was met with this,

Or this

Or even this.

Kenny began posting his photos on Instagram, and unsurprisingly, heā€™s accumulated nearly 50,000 followers after posting just 46 hilarious photos. Kennyā€™s pictures are brilliant, of course, but they also speak to the part of our brains that takes us on a tour of ā€œThe Worst Things That Could Possibly Happenā€ any time we get a bit nervous.

Seeing the absurdity of some of our fears laid out reminds us to stay grounded in reality. And, of course, it reminds us that itā€™s ok to take a break every once in a while – after all, we arenā€™t parenting alone. Yes, you too single parents. It really does take a village to raise a kid, and nobody expects you to do everything. Even when someone else is watching them, as Kenny kindly demonstrates (sort of), the baby will be just fine.

Netflix Pulls ‘Chappelleā€™s Show’ at Daveā€™s Request

By Mike Julianelle
Chappelle Nixes Netflix Stream
(Instagram/davechappelle)

Say what you want about Dave Chappelle, he’s never been afraid of standing up for himself, or for what he believes in.

The comedian’s courage and fearlessness in speaking truth to power has been on display in his standup and television series for decades. The most famous example of his willingness to put his money where his mouth coming when he skipped out on Chappelleā€™s Show when things got to be too much for him.

It seems he’s not done dealing with the ramifications of that decision, nor is he done speaking out about it.

Recently, the comedian’s pioneering sketch show, Chappelleā€™s Show started streaming on Netflix. We rejoicedĀ because more access to that subversive and hilarious series is a good thing. But not to Dave. Not when the show that bears his name is no longer his.

Chappelle posted an 18-minute video to his Instagram, featuring him performing stand-up and speaking specifically about the fact that Viacom, who owns his show, sold the rights to Netflix and he didn’t see a penny. He doesn’t blame Netflix, with whom he’s established a good relationship over the past few years. But he did ask them to remove the series from its platform.

ā€œThey (ViacomCBS) didnā€™t have to pay me because I signed the contract,ā€ Chappelle said in the video. ā€œBut is that right? I found out that these people were streaming my work and they never had to ask me or they never have to tell me. Perfectly legal ā€˜cause I signed the contract. But is that right? I didnā€™t think so either. Thatā€™s why I like working for Netflix. I like working for Netflix because when all those bad things happened to me, that company didnā€™t even exist. And when I found out they were streaming ā€˜Chappelleā€™s Show,ā€™ I was furious. How could they notā€“ how could they not know? So you know what I did? I called them and I told them that this makes me feel bad. And you want to know what they did? They agreed that they would take it off their platform just so I could feel better.ā€

Not wanting to jeopardize their relationship, and perhaps simply respecting Dave’s wishes, Netflix has obliged and removed The Chappelle Show from its service. Our loss, for sure, but the right thing to do. He may not get paid for it anymore, but there’s no denying that Chappelleā€™s Show is Dave Chappelle’s show. Good on Netflix.

I hope you still have your DVDs.

Watch the full clip below:

 

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A post shared by Dave Chappelle (@davechappelle)