Dad Creates Mini ‘Peloton’ so Toddler Could Feel Included During His Workouts

Getting and staying in shape requires time, effort, and consistency. Before having kids, going to the gym may have been a habit you didn’t think a whole lot about. You went to work, went to the gym, and enjoyed the night to yourself. After having kids though, time and energy are in a laughably short supply. To make hitting the gym a little easier, one creative dad found a way to include his toddler in his workouts. The adorable duo can be found getting their sweat on side by side thanks to dad’s hilarious creation – a tot-sized Peloton bike.

Kids naturally try to mirror their parents, copying behaviors they see at home as they learn to navigate the world around them. It’s no surprise that after seeing her dad use his own exercise equipment, Maelynn Jane became increasingly curious about the strange machines. To allow Maelynn to safely explore the world of fitness, her dad brought things down to her level.

In a TikTok video Maelynn’s mom, Jaden shared, the crafty dad takes us through his tike bike makeover. He starts with a regular old kid’s stationary bike (which exist, for some reason?) and painted it jet black. Using the real deal as a guide, he added some red detailing before sticking on the finishing touch – a perfect replica of the Peloton logo.

@imjadenmichaelsThe end though… 🥺❤️ ##fyp ##diy ##daddydaughtertiktoks ##daddysgirl ##toddler ##PonderWithZion ##momsoftiktok ##dadsoftiktok

♬ Work Out (Talkbox) – Adam Tahere

Finally, it’s time to take it for a test ride. Maelynn fearlessly approaches her new bike, swinging one little leg over the top and plopping herself down on the bike seat. The barefoot toddler does her very best, adorably swinging her legs out behind her and bouncing up and down. She turns to watch her dad riding his own bike next to her, and his enormous grin says it all.

Gyms aren’t typically safe places for toddlers, but this innovative dad proved that anyone can crush it when they work on their level. If Peloton doesn’t come out with a ‘Pelotot’ soon, we may just have to jump on it.

The World of Sports Rallies in Support of NFL’s First Openly Gay Active Player

The NFL now has its first openly gay active player as the Las Vegas Raiders defensive lineman Carl Nassib took to social media to publicly come out. Representation was the motivating factor but he also said he hopes announcements like his will become a non-issue in the future.

“I’ve been meaning to do this for a while now, but I finally feel comfortable enough to get it off my chest,” he said in the Instagram video. He also announced he’d be supporting The Trevor Project with a $100,000 donation. It’s an impactful message and donation during pride month and a monumental moment for the NFL.

 

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And while some sports fans will predictably roll out their hot takes from 1985, most of the enlightened world, including Nassib’s NFL colleagues, were supportive.

Before we delve into the world of support, let’s address comments like “why does it matter???”. Here’s why – helpfully explained by Nassib and echoed by ESPN’s Mike Golic Jr.

“Studies have shown all it takes is one accepting adult to decrease the risk of an LGBTQ kid attempting suicide by 40 percent. Whether you’re a friend, a parent, a coach or a teammate, you can be that person.”

And onto that support! From current players, stars, coaches, the commissioner, and so on…

It’s a big step from a great player, and it’s heartening to see so much support for him throughout the league. Someday it won’t matter, but that day is not today, and this will go a long way in making millions of people more comfortable in their own skin.

The New Trailer ‘Ted Lasso’ Trailer Has Us Pumped for Season 2

Forget hot girl summer. It’s almost Lasso Season (two)!

The second season of Apple TV+’s unlikely hit series, which was based on a commercial, airs on a platform most people don’t have and stars a former SNLer sporting a mustache, premieres on July 23rd. I, for one, can not wait (and I know I’m not alone). Because as unlikely as it is, Ted Lasso is a national treasure.

The show, which is part fish-out-of-water tale and part underdog story is 100% good vibes, and while you may not know many people who’ve watched it, every single person who has is a certified member of the LAsso hive. The show’s affability and charm is as impossible to deny as that of the main character, flawlessly embodied by Jason Sudeikis in an award-winning role.

The new season promises to follow the Richmond Greyhounds as they attempt to bounce back from their first campaign under former football coach turned football gaffer, and the second season’s official trailer promises more of the same heart and hijinks, with a few wrinkles.

It looks like we’ll get to see a different side of Ted as his team struggles again, and the gang is all back — except, perhaps, for lovable curmudgeon Roy Kent (Brett Goldstein), who barely appears in the trailer – if at all (pretty sure I saw him near the end). A vital counterweight to Lasso’s relentless optimism, Kent’s absence could really hurt the show.

We’ll find out for sure what happened to Roy, and what will happen to the rest of the Lasso family, next month. Until then, check out the new trailer. And believe!

LeVar Burton Finally Guest-Hosting Jeopardy From July 23rd to 30th

Since Alex Trebek passed away from cancer last year, Jeopardy has continued to churn out episodes. When you air 5 days a week, there’s little time to rest. But the producers of the show haven’t rushed to replace their legendary host, and instead have been featuring a variety of different guest hosts.

Some of these hosts, like former champion Ken Jennings and former Price is Right host Drew Carey, are legitimate contenders to replace Trebek, and some of them, like reigning NFL MVP Aaron Rodgers, are probably longshots. There is one potential host out there who, despite tons of support, and even a petition in his name, has yet to appear.

Until later this summer!

LeVar Burton is, like Trebek, a beloved, family-friendly TV personality who has been in viewers’ lives for decades. Many Jeopardy fans – including Dick Van Dyke – are clamoring for Burton to take over for Trebek, and during the final week of July, he’ll have a chance to show the public what he can do.

Burton will appear as guest host from July 23rd to July 30th, after CNN’s Dr. Sanjay Gupta’s June 28-July 9 stint, Good Morning America anchor George Stephanopolous’s run, and GMA anchor Robin Roberts slot from July 19-23.

LeVar has been on fans – and producers’ – minds for a long time.

“LeVar and I’ve been speaking for a very long time,” executive producer Mike Richards told USA Today. “I think he was the first person to reach out to me after Alex passed away… so this is not a new conversation.”

Nor is it an easy one.

“It’s not a matter of picking up the phone and people clearing their calendars, and then just showing up. There’s a lot that goes into these bookings,” he explained. “It was much more about the conversations that we had than really him lobbying because really, no one else has lobbied. It’s really been a kind of a very quiet path to cerebral conversations, and then us making decisions.”

They’re giving everyone a look, and at the end of July, LeVar Burton finally gets his. After that, we’ll find out if he’ll be back for more.

Single Swan Dad Raises His Babies Alone After Mom Swan Dies

Few people plan on becoming single parents because of the incredible demands of parenthood, but when life throws curveballs your way, plans change and heroes emerge. Heroes who pretend they’re not exhausted even though they are literally always exhausted, heroes who go above and beyond to give their kids an amazing childhood when everything is stacked against them. Recently, a Boston dad made headlines for raising his seven babies all by himself after tragedy struck his family. Ok, so he’s a swan, but we don’t discriminate. This dad is a hero in our book.

The Charles River Esplanade in Boston is home to many swans, but when a swan couple decided to raise a family there, wildlife lovers were ecstatic. Residents swooned over the swans, keeping a safe distance after momma swan laid nine perfect eggs. The protective parents guarded their eggs, and their human supporters stole glances from afar. In late May, seven of the eggs hatched and the swan couple became proud parents.

Tragedy strikes

Not long after their babies hatched, Boston residents noticed something was very wrong with momma swan. She was struggling to stand and to stay above water, so concerned observers called animal control. Sadly, by the time help arrived, momma swan had passed away.

Swans typically mate for life, co-parenting their babies and sharing parental duties from the very beginning. Even for non-human parents, raising little ones is a huge amount of work. Swans have to protect their babies from predators, bring food back to their nests, and keep their young safe from the dangers that surround them. Without momma swan in the picture, papa swan stepped up to do it all.

Even after the tragedy of losing his partner, papa swan did what he needed to do for his family. He took on the role of both parents, caring for his babies and teaching them how to grow into capable, self-assured swans.

“They seem to be doing well,” Emma Feeney, marketing and events coordinator for the Esplanade Association told The Dodo. “You can spot them in the esplanade lagoon swimming together, with some of the babies riding along on his back. Geese will swim by them and you can tell that the papa swan is in full force, protecting the cygnets. You can tell that he’s just a great, great father to them. It’s very adorable.”

Want To Be a Rad Dad? Beat the 8 Best Tony Hawk Video Games

If you grew up in the ’90s, you couldn’t avoid Tony Hawk. The skateboarder and current social media funnyman might seem like the ultimate dad now, at 53. But, that doesn’t change his cool factor. Our dude became a professional skater at the age of 14. (And our teenager can’t even roll his scooter through the garage without scratching the Tiguan.) He served at the National Skateboarding Association’s world champion for more than a decade and, yeah, none of us will ever forget when the San Diego native successfully completed the first-ever 900 at the 1999 X Games. He was 31 years old. And he did it, again, for the last time, at 48. In other words, Hawk has lived his life defying the norms of being “too young” or “too old.” Even now, as a retired professional skateboarder, Hawk is still sponsored by Birdhouse, Vans, and few others. And even as recently as last year, our dude was still landing 540s. He’s that awesome.

Tony Hawk Wow GIF by X Games  - Find & Share on GIPHY

And, as if he didn’t make enough money and gain enough fame and street cred from skating, he’s also played an integral part in developing no less than 21 video games across all gaming platforms. Most even came with a killer soundtrack. These Tony Hawk games are, without a doubt, the best. Give them a try — with or without your kids.

1. Tony Hawk Pro Skater 2

Yes, the original Pro Skater is a monster and absolutely worth a deep dive. It “started it all.” But, like so many firsts you have in your life, it just wasn’t that great. Pro Skater 2 built on the original Tony Hawk game and expanded it into something truly magnificent. The art was better, the world was richer, and the soundtrack was bonkers good. It featured all the coolest acts at the time like Anthrax, Naughty By Nature, Rage, and even Powerman 5000. (We’ll say it without an ounce of embarrassment: “When World’s Collide” is an absolute banger.)

2. Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 3 and 4

We’re bundling these into one entry because they’re so similar in terms of look and feel. The main difference between the two, however, is that Pro Skater 4 unleashed a ton of select, timed content that added a little more urgency to the game. Was it done perfectly? No. But, it was the start of something entirely new for Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater games.

3. Tony Hawk’s Underground

This TH game marked a big shift in the series. It was the first time you could step off your skateboard and explore the world around you without wheels under your feet. They also took a step away from the generic skating-for-the-sake-of-skating aspect and went into that choose-your-own-adventure story building for each character that is now widely popular in video games.

4. Tony Hawk’s American Wasteland

While this gem technically released after the next two entries on our list, it was better than both. For this game, developers pared down the insanity of tricks in Underground 2 and replaced them with things that were must-haves in the gaming world at the time. Wasteland boasts an obscenely large map full of storefronts and buildings you can go into and explore. The downtown LA world that it showed felt as never-ending as the GTA maps. But, you know, it was just a little too much for a skating game.

5. Tony Hawk’s Project 8

With a better-than-average (at the time) character creator, Project 8 held a ton of promise. It was, of course, lacking quite a bit. It was choppy and hard to play. But, because it was still somewhat grounded in reality, we like it slightly more than the next game on our list.

6. Tony Hawk’s Underground 2

Let’s just get it over with: Underground 2 is absurd. It was released in 2004 when Bam and Johnny Knoxville were still capitalizing on their idiocy to make make money doing dumb stunts and pranks. People fell for it, of course, because we always enjoy seeing extreme success and extremely painful failures. Underground 2 capitalized on our most basic desires. It was a game full of chances to try crazy skateboard stunts and fail at them without the hospital bill.

7. Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 1 + 2

Let’s face it: On the surface, this is just a remake of Pro Skater 1 and Pro Skater 2. They did this before with THPS HD. But, this time around they actually nailed it. The old characters are built out more and the new characters fit right in. The art in each level is infinitely better, too, building out the world with more detail, light, and substance. And, yes, it’s even got that same amazing soundtrack from the classics.

8. Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater

What’s that? You’re mad that the THPS OG is all the way at the bottom of our list? Stop living in the past. We get it — we’re often nostalgic for the things that sparked our initial interests. But, why dwell on a mediocre first start when you could play any other game in the series that takes on Tony Hawk’s initial premise and expands on it. Pro Skater started it all and was wildly popular… but it was only just the beginning.

Got the Eye of the Tiger? Then You Already Know These Memorable Rocky Quotes

There’s no debating it: Rocky is the single greatest movie of all time. While our love for Sylvester Stallone may not come close to our adoration for Keanu Reeves, it’s pretty damn close. And it ought to be. Stallone literally created the Rocky Balboa character and movie concepts. Guys. Don’t let his deep voice and boxer’s build fool you. He’s not a dumb jock. He actually wrote the script for Rocky, as well. And, where would we be without the likes of Rocky, Mickey, and Apollo Creed? One thing is certain: We’d be without the “Eye of the Tiger.” And we’d have no idea how important it is to run up those iconic steps at the Philadelphia Museum of Art. Nope. Rocky changed our lives and, thus, so did Stallone.

When we say he wrote the movie, it’s important to remember that includes all the amazingly uplifting and truly hilarious dialogue, too. Rocky had some real zingers. Yes, we all yell “ADRIANNNNNN!” in that iconic Stallone mumble, but do you remember these other zingers from across the franchise as well?

Quotes From the One and Only Rocky Balboa

  1. “Life’s not about how hard of a hit you can give… it’s about how many you can take, and still keep moving forward.”
  2. “How ’bout I stay here and you fight?”
  3. “Every champion was once a contender who refused to give up.”
  4. “Do you like having a good time? Then you need a good watch!”
  5. “Remember, the mind is your best muscle. Big arms can move rocks, but big words can move mountains.”
  6. “ADRIANNNNNN!”
  7. “Time takes everybody out. Time is undefeated.”
  8. “Nobody owes nobody nothing.”
  9. “You know I couldn’t have done nothing without you… Yo Adrian we did it.”
  10. “Yeah yeah, the Bill of Rights. Don’t it say something about going after what makes you happy?”
  11. “You gotta be a moron… you gotta be a moron to wanna be a fighter.”
  12. “Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place and I don’t care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it.”
  13. “I am not the richest, smartest, or most talented person in the world. But I succeed because I keep going and going and going.”
  14. “Cut me, Mick!”
  15. “I stopped thinking the way other people think a long time ago. You gotta think like you think.”
  16. “If I can change and you can change, everybody can change.”
  17. “There’s a beast inside me.”
  18. “I believe there’s an inner power that makes winners or losers. And the winners are the ones who really listen to the truth of their hearts.”
  19. “Until you start believing in yourself, you ain’t gonna have a life.”
  20. “Success is usually the culmination of controlling failure.”
  21. “Ya know, they always say if you live in one place long enough, you are that place.”
  22. “You can’t learn anything when you’re talking. That’s a fact of life. As long as you’re talking, you’re not listening.”
  23. “Going in one more round when you don’t think you can. That’s what makes all the difference in your life.”
  24. “I think you try harder when you’re scared.”
  25. “Now, if you know what you’re worth, then go out and get what you’re worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hits, and not pointing fingers saying you ain’t where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody. Cowards do that and that ain’t you. You’re better than that!”
  26. “Yo, Adrian!”
  27. “You see, fear is a fighter’s best friend. You know, but it ain’t nothing to be ashamed of. See, fear keeps you sharp, it keeps you awake, you know, it makes you want to survive. You know what I mean? But the thing is, you gotta learn how to control it. All right? ‘Cause fear is like this fire, all right? And it’s burning deep inside.”

Rocky Quotes from Apollo Creed

  1. “Stay in school and use your brain. Be a doctor, be a lawyer, carry a leather briefcase. Forget about sports as a profession. Sports make ya grunt and smell. See, be a thinker, not a stinker.”
  2. “You thought I was tough? This chump will kill you!”
  3. “You’d better stop this fight! You ain’t nothin’ but a bum!”
  4. “There is no tomorrow! There is no tomorrow! There is no tomorrow!”
  5. “Just stay outta my face, chump.”
  6. “You know, Stallion. It’s too bad we gotta get old.”
  7. “Look. It’s the name man…The Italian Stallion. The media will eat it up. Now, who discovered America? An Italian, right. What would be better than to get it on with one of its descendants?”
  8. “Man, I won. But, I didn’t beat him.”
  9. “I predict the champ’s gonna take this one.”
  10. “Apollo Creed vs. the Italian Stallion. Sounds like a damn monster movie.”
  11. “That means, if he can’t fight, I’ll bet he can cook.”

Amazing Rocky Quotes from Everyone Else

  1. “I’m gonna eat lightning and you’re gonna crap thunder.” — Mickey
  2. “Your nose is broken. [Rocky: “How’s it look?”] It’s an improvement.” — Mickey
  3. “Stay down!” — Mickey
  4. “Go for the ribs! Don’t let that bastard breathe!” — Mickey
  5. “Why do you wear that sweating old thing? [Rocky: “It brings me luck.”] It brings you flies.” — Mickey
  6. “He doesn’t know it’s a damn show. He thinks it’s a damn fight!” — Apollo’s trainer
  7. “What do I owe you, Paulie? What do I owe you? I treat you good! I cook for you! I cleaned for you! I pick up your dirty clothes! I take care of ya, Paulie! I don’t owe you nothin’! And you made me feel like a loser! I’m not a loser!” —  Adrian
  8. “Einstein flunked out of school, twice. [Paulie: “Is that so?”] Yeah. Beethoven was deaf. Helen Keller was blind. I think Rocky’s got a good chance.” — Adrian

We Have Our First Look at Michael Keaton as Bruce Wayne in Flash Movie

What’s old is new again, it’s the surest thing about culture. This also applies to our Batmen, as one of the most iconic Bruce Waynes ever is back as the billionaire vigilante for the upcoming Flash movie. And now, we have our first glimpse of Michael Keaton as Bruce Wayne for the first time in nearly three decades.

“The Flash” is currently filming in London and stars Ezra Miller. And they have the same Batman too, as Ben Affleck will be returning as the caped crusader. But one thing we’ll learn about the Flash is he’s fast enough to run to parallel realities, which is why we have Michael Keaton also reprising the Batman role. He’ll be playing an older version of Batman in an alternate universe.

Big Screen Leaks shared the photo of the older Bruce Wayne on Twitter, and fans were having it.

The director of the movie, which is coming in the fall of next year, also teased Keaton’s Batman appearance by sharing a pic of his iconic Batman suit on Instagram last month. There’s no context, and just a small droplet or two of blood, which is an interesting choice! But just the logo alone was enough to get fans fired up for Keaton’s return.

 

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Tim Burton’s Batman movies relaunched the interest in the fabled comic book character and were ahead of their time when it comes to great comic book movies for adults. Keaton is a terrific actor and his take on Batman was badass, so it will be even more interesting to see it again 30 years later, as an older Bruce Wayne.

“The Flash” is set to hit theaters (remember those?) in November of 2022.

The Most Awesome Prime Day 2021 Deals All in One Place — You’re Welcome

You’ve seen the Amazon Prime Day ads everywhere. It’s one of the biggest sale events of the year, and it’s completely online. You just get to sit back, relax, add some good, discounted stuff to your cart, check out, and wait for that sweet, sweet 2-day shipping to deliver your bounty to your door. Except that Prime Day can be chaotic — deals change by the hour, there are probably thousands (millions? We didn’t do the math, sorry) of products on sale, and we want you to get the very best deals. Because we’re looking out for you (and we’re shopping Prime Day ourselves, so we might as well help out; we’re thoughtful like that).

So, take a browse. We’ve organized the deals by category so your head doesn’t explode. Prime Day has everything from TK to TK, and we’ll be updating this page all day long.

Best Tech Deals

Sony Noise Cancelling Headphones WHCH710N, $76 (61% off)

Sony’s noise-canceling headphones have reached cult status for a reason: They are godly effective, their battery life is 35 hours, and they really do cancel out the rest of the world. Also, they’re rarely on sale, so get ’em while you can.

Buy here

Samsung Galaxy Watch Active 2, $176 (35% off) 

If you’re looking for a watch that’s, well, a watch, but also has fitness options, like a heart rate and sleep monitor, built-in coaching, and more. It seamlessly connects with your Android, making it easy to use, too.

Buy here

Acer Chromebook Spin 311 Convertible Laptop, $225 (55% off)

acer

This highly-rated and versatile Chromebook with a Google operating system is fast, functional, and sleek. It comes with built-storage for easy offline access and comes with an extra 100GB of Google Drive space.

Buy here

Apple AirPods with Wireless Charging Case, $150 (25% off)

If you wanna jump on the AirPod bandwagon, we don’t blame you. With powerful noise-cancelling capabilities, wireless convenience, long battery power, and the ability to easily pair of Apple products, these are popular for a reason. Now’s the time to get them 25% off.

Buy here

Nintendo Switch Lite – Blue with SanDisk 128GB microSDXC-Card, $200 (14% off)

Ideal for your handheld gaming purposes, AND you get a 128GB SD card. The speed is what stands out here, so you won’t be sorry for upgrading.

Buy here

Samsung 34 inch S65UA Ultra WQHD (3440×1440) Curved Monitor, $479.99 (29% off)

If you need a premium gaming monitor, Samsung’s 24-inch monitor is on sale. Known for its superior picture quality and its ergonomic design, it’s what you need to level up.

Buy here

Other noteworthy deals:

Smart home devices starting at $8.99

Garmin smartwatches starting at $49.99

Data storage starting at $44.99

Best Kitchen & Home Deals

Calphalon BVCLECMP1 Temp iQ Espresso Machine with Steam Wand, $170.29 (57% off)

Want to impress the heck out of your dinner guests with an espresso drink? Sure you do. And you don’t have to spend your mortgage payment on an espresso machine — this highly-rated and high-quality Calphalon espresso machine is perfect for at-home use, and makes delicious, coffee shop-worthy drinks.

Buy here

Ninja FD401 Foodi 8-Quart 9-in-1 Deluxe XL Pressure Cooker, $141.54 (43% off)

ninja

This is the creme de la creme of pressure cookers, so if you haven’t gotten one yet, or want to upgrade, the Ninja GF401 8-quart pressure cooker allows you to air fry, steam, slow cook, sear, saute, crisp, bake, roast, broil, dehydrate, and make yogurt. You can pretty much just throw away the rest of your kitchen and use this bad boy.

Buy here

BISSELL PowerGlide Pet Slim Corded Vacuum, $126 (30% 0ff)

If you have pets, then you know you can easily spend all day every day vacuuming, and you’d still end up with fur in your food, your clothes — you get the idea. With this powerful Bissell pet slim corded vacuum, you can clean up with a lot more ease.

Buy here

Other noteworthy deals:

Up to 45% off on Shark Robotic and Upright Vacuums and Steam Mop

Up to 32% off Kitchen Essentials from Chefman, Hamilton Beach, Stasher, and more

Up to 50% off Cuisinart Kitchen Products

Best Sports Deals

NordicTrack T Series Treadmill, $468 (28% off)

nordic track

With OneTouch incline control, speed control, iFit, this treadmill auto-adjusts the speed through Bluetooth connection. It also has the ability to fold up after your run.

Buy here

Sporzon! Rubber Encased Hex Dumbbell in Pairs or Singles, $35 (21% off)

Still working on your WFH gym game? Upgrade with these solid cast dumbbells  made with solid metal chrome finish. They’re comfortable and durable, and no-frills.

Buy here

Silverback In-Ground Basketball Hoop, $480 (40% off)

This 54” in-ground basketball hoop gives you professional quality and durability so you can practice your basketball skills from the comfort of your home.

Buy here

WhiteFang Deluxe XL Pop Up Beach Tent, $56 (38% off)

Looking for a beach tent for all your beaching and camping needs? This is the BMW of beach tents, and it comes with the WORKS.

Buy here

Other noteworthy deals:

Up to 50% off on all Under Armour deals

Up to 40% off on all Coleman, Marmot, and ExOfficio Outdoor Gear

Up to 40% off Adidas footwear, apparel, and accessories 

Pioneering Hospital Opens $200 Billion “Sleep Injuries” Wing for Dads

SCOTTSDALE, AZ—The Scottsdale Hospital broke ground today on a $10 million wing focused entirely on treating injuries fathers sustain while fast asleep.

Officials say the Chuck Haggerty Memorial Center for The Treatment and Study of Dad Sleep Injuries will give specialized treatment to those sleep injuries that only Dads seem to sustain.

“Every day, thousands of Dads manage to injure their necks, legs, shoulders, ankles and ribs, all while lying down motionless and unconscious,” said Dr. Kevin Williamson, chief of Dad Radiology at the hospital. “We want to know why, and we want it to stop.”

In addition to treating Dad patients, the new wing will also house sizable research labs. Hospital officials say they hope to become the first researchers to identify the mysterious, nocturnal force that is tweaking Dads’ shoulders.

The facility is named for Chuck Haggerty, a father of two who tragically woke up with a sore wrist in 2012 but is otherwise alive and healthy.

Despite being completely plausible to parents, THIS JUST IN is satire and intended for entertainment purposes only. For more stories like this one click here.