The best inventions aim to solve everyday problems, preventing unnecessary stress and improving our daily lives. The second best inventions don’t necessarily solve complex problems, but what they lack in functionality they make up for in entertainment value. Enter the FartVac.
Farting is completely natural and extremely satisfying, but it’s one of those things that’s significantly less enjoyable to the people around you. If your butt thunder is disrupting the lives of your loved ones (or the lives of strangers in a comically-slow elevator), the FartVac wants to help.
“FartVac is the world’s first fart vacuum and filtering system,” the product’s website boasts. “Using a hand-activated air pump and an activated carbon filter, FartVac reduces the stench of flatulence. It is time to align norms and manners to what is healthy! By taking responsibility and trying to reduce your fart smells, you can now fart without shame–no more pain while fighting nature and holding in gas.”
To reduce the impact of your *cough* natural functions on your peers, the innovative FartVac sucks your freshly-baked air biscuits into a comfartment equipped with a carbon filter. Does it work? Hard to say. But If you’ve ever spent your night colon bowlin’ after a too-late Taco Bell run, it may be worth a shot.
The FartVac itself isn’t the most visually appealing, and you somehow have to hide the hoses and pump underneath your clothes so you can siphon out those rear-end raspberries as they pop up. The instructions for use seem straightforward but are extremely vague – they do stress, however, that at no point should any part of the FartVac enter your body. Just so we’re clear.
“If people complain of your odor despite your use of the Fartvac,” the website stresses, “we recommend a higher-fiber diet and an avoidance of meat and dairy.”
You can buy your very own FartVac from the product’s website, or from Amazon.