Are you ready for Father’s Day?
Turns out I shouldn’t have been subtly laying clues for my wife to get me some good bourbon or some good beer, and instead I should have moved to Germany where fathers have somehow hacked the system and found the world’s most amazing way to celebrate Father’s Day.
Germans sometimes get a bad rap for being humorless and severe, but there’s no denying they know how to drink. Courts in Germany even ruled that hangovers are a legit illness. It’s no mistake that they started Oktoberfest, which I used to think was the world’s greatest celebration. And then I learned about German Father’s Day.
We posted about it on Facebook. Check this out:
I won’t lie, they almost lost me with “going on hikes” but they quickly won me back with “wagons of food and booze.” It’s like a state-sanctioned tailgate that takes place, I dunno, in the woods? With a bunch of your friends? And no kids in sight?
Even better is the fact that it’s held on a Thursday. Obviously, after a day of booze-fueled hiking, none of these dads go to work on Friday, thereby extending Father’s Day into a 4-day weekend. This allows dads to recover from their day of debauchery and meat sweats while also giving them a few extra days with which they are free to celebrate themselves with their families, without whom none of us would-be dads.
Finally, take a look at the wagon in that image. The “Papa Mobile” is fashionably decorated, there is a grill on it, and there are several glasses and even what looks like a keg of some kind.
I am not German, but I’ve never wanted to be one so badly. Forget making the day after the Super Bowl a national holiday, let’s adopt the German Father’s Day! We could technically celebrate both. Mach Schnell!