COVID has taken a lot from us in 2020, and now we learned there’s one more thing to add to the list; Matthew McConaughey’s stand-up comedy debut. That’s right, the gifted actor, now memoirist, was going to try his hand at yet another artistic endeavor and tell jokes in front of a brick wall. He had planned to do a comedy tour this year, but those plans were scrapped by the pandemic

It’s important to note we do respect, enjoy, and admire McConaughey. He’s a good actor and, by all accounts, seems like a good person. Plus, he loves being a dad, so yeah he’s good in our book. And can he tell a compelling story? No doubt. But stand-up comedy? If any celeb could pull it off, he’d be right up there.

I say this as someone who has performed stand-up comedy professionally for more than a decade; stand-up comedy is not easy. When done right, sure, it looks easy, but that’s why so many celebrities try to do it and then often bomb horrifically. But Matthew McConaughey is a lot more willing to make himself the butt of a joke compared to most celebrities and his self-awareness, combined with his openness and a lifetime of great stories, couldn’t help but make him compelling on the stage.

It was in an interview earlier this week, he said he was interested in doing stand-up comedy.

“I haven’t shared this with many people, but stand up is a no-filter communication,” he said. “What I do as an actor is my raw expression through four filters before it gets to the screen. I’m doing someone else’s script, being directed by someone else, I’m being filmed by someone else and edited by someone else before it’s put in a capsule and put in front of you on screen.

That’s four filters from my original expression. Where do you go where there is no filter? That’s stand-up. That was the plan before COVID, going on the road and telling stories in an hour of stand-up.”

His reasons for wanting to do it make sense, and he goes on to say it would be a great thing to get addicted to (spoiler: it very much is).

“It sounds like a great thing to be addicted to, the ultimate buzz. You look at stand-up comic, they are the best truth teller we have. If I  can get away with this, then I’d love to.”

Before COVID hit, @mcconaughey was apparently planning a stand-up tour. https://t.co/Ackq2i2pVB

— The Laugh Button (@thelaughbutton) November 19, 2020

So who knows, we may get a whole new version of Matthew McConaughey, coming to a Funny Bone near you in 2021.

It’s the season of giving, and Michael Jordan once again proved why he’s a GOAT by making a huge donation to Feeding America to help the nearly 80 million food-insecure Americans during the holidays. During Thanksgiving week, Jordan donated $2 million to the organization supporting food banks around the country.

Jordan has proven his charitable side during the pandemic, as he helped fund two health care centers for uninsured people in his current hometown in North Carolina. It’s a huge gift from the sports legend that made a tremendous impact on those at-risk communities. And now, Jordan is helping feed the hungry in Chicago and North Carolina by gifting the proceeds of the recent “Last Dance” documentary on his final season.

An incredible gift to be thankful for – NBA legend Michael Jordan is donating $2 million to help our neighbors facing hunger! #TheLastDance

Every action makes a difference. Join Michael & visit https://t.co/ExF6iX3wr7 to learn how you can donate or volunteer this holiday season. pic.twitter.com/UVUFQlbe0p

— Feeding America (@FeedingAmerica) November 25, 2020

Feeding America announced the gift and described it as ‘an incredible gift to be thankful for’ and said it would help feed their neighbors. Jordan, for his part, released a statement acknowledging the donation.

“In these challenging times and in a year of unimaginable difficulty due to COVID-19, it’s more important than ever to pause and give thanks,” he said. “I am proud to be donating additional proceeds from The Last Dance to Feeding America and its member food banks in the Carolinas and Chicago to help feed America’s hungry.”

The NBA Hall of Famer is certainly trying to rewrite his next chapter, as he’s been on a major philanthropic phase in the last year, with this gift, opening two health care centers for the uninsured, and with a $100 million gift over 10 years to fight racial inequality.

Jordan continues to cement his legacy as the GOAT.

CHULA VISTA, CA – While the Christiansen family was unable to gather in person this year for Thanksgiving due to the pandemic, 41-year-old Jason Christiansen, a father of two, wasn’t about to let that stand in the way of tradition, as he set up a Zoom call so that the entire family could watch him take a post-dinner nap.

“It just wouldn’t be Thanksgiving without Uncle Jason passing out on the couch,” said Jason’s niece Debbie, who along with the rest of the family played some virtual boardgames over Zoom while the audio from Jason’s snores intermittently cut in and out of the call.

While there was a brief moment where the entire Zoom call paused to see if Jason was waking up, it proved that he was just switching positions from one where the laptop camera showed an unflattering angle of his double chin to an even less flattering angle revealing his belly peeking out from beneath his shirt.

“It’s been a strange year, but it felt refreshingly normal to watch my brother fall asleep after consuming his weight in mashed potatoes,” said Jason’s brother Henry, who was grateful that Jason had upgraded to a premium Zoom account so that the family didn’t miss a single second of him napping.

As the entire family said their goodbyes and signed off the Zoom call around 10pm, it wasn’t until 3am that Jason finally woke up from his lengthy Turkey-induced nap and finally shut his laptop screen before immediately going to bed so he could sleep off the rest of the meal.

Despite being completely plausible to parents, THIS JUST IN is satire and intended for entertainment purposes only. For more stories like this one click here.

When it comes to famous people, 2020 has shown us who the true GOATS are, the ones who help people in their greatest hour of need and go above and beyond in delivering that help. And it’s also shown us the ones who are astonishingly silent during this time or paying only lip-service when it comes to making a difference. You probably don’t need a reminder, but Tyler Perry is indisputably in that first group. That’s why he was recently crowned the people’s champ.

Perry has always had a philanthropic heart, giving to the people and charities that make a difference. But he’s kicked it up a gear during COVID times. He bought groceries for thousands of seniors during the height of pandemic paranoia, he went above and beyond to get his studio open safely so he could get people back to work, worked with local law enforcement to get gift cards to families in need, gave away $20,000+ in tips at his favorite restaurant, and is just an all-around good guy. Now, he’s helping feed people on Thanksgiving.

His studio announced the news of a giveaway of non-perishable food items and gift cards to the first 5,000 families who came by. The poster for the Thanksgiving giveaway said they wished they ‘could feed everyone’, but wanted to do what they could during a time when so many are food-insecure.

We are excited to announce the #TPSGiving Food Giveaway event on Sunday, November 22nd from 8:00am to 12:00pm.

During this drive-up event we will be distributing non-perishable food items and gift cards to people who are in need during this holiday season. See you there! pic.twitter.com/kQH2DvwNYp

— Tyler Perry Studios (@TPstudios) November 19, 2020

In a sign of how much it’s needed, cars started lining up THE DAY BEFORE the giveaway, like they were selling Playstation 5s. The long line even caused traffic problems.

The first car in line got here at 3pm…YESTERDAY. #TPSGiving starts at 8am. Already, lines extend miles long, causing back-ups on Langford Pkwy and I-20.@TPstudios will be giving away non-perishables and gift cards to 5K families.

People tell me, the need is greater than ever pic.twitter.com/ntoBGfaZTk

— Emilie Ikeda (@EmilieIkedaFOX5) November 22, 2020

Perry has given back during the holidays before, most notably a couple years back when he paid off $500,000 of layaway balances at Walmart for families. And this Thanksgiving give-away is another that will not soon be forgotten.

Traffic backed up for miles for the #TPSGiving food giveaway event at Tyler Perry Studios in Atlanta. https://t.co/aRqt4VxEPZ pic.twitter.com/2uIBTYWIsX

— 11Alive News (@11AliveNews) November 22, 2020

This should be the new barometer for charity work. If you’re causing traffic, it tells you what you’re doing is substantial, and it also tells you there are a lot of people in need, and hopefully his generosity inspires others to give back however they can during the holiday season.

CHESAPEAKE, VA – The COVID-19 pandemic has forced families to alter their Thanksgiving plans this year, meaning 36-year-old Greg Jeffries won’t be able to host a big family gathering like normal, which in turn has left him “utterly distraught” over the fact that his vegan relatives won’t be attending.

“I’m heartbroken, absolutely heartbroken,” said Greg while stuffing the tofurkey he bought last week straight into the trash, which he would have been forced to make for his sister-in-law and her husband before they ultimately canceled their travel plans.

While Greg also claimed to be sad that his meat-eating family members wouldn’t be coming to dinner this year, he made a point to stress that he was extra “inconsolable” and “unsure if he would ever find happiness again” over the fact that his vegan relatives wouldn’t be showing up and bringing vegan side dishes that took up valuable table space.

“Tears of joy? No, I’m really sad,” said Greg, who had tears running down his face when he pulled the delicious, meaty turkey out of the oven that he and his wife would be sharing without any concern for the dietary restrictions of others.

As Greg and his wife sat down to enjoy a smaller than usual Thanksgiving together, he realized that by this time next year the entire family would be able to gather safely again, vegans included. It was this realization that made him truly sad for the first time all day.

Despite being completely plausible to parents, THIS JUST IN is satire and intended for entertainment purposes only. For more stories like this one click here.

Once a famous athlete retires, the sports world is quick to forget them. If they suddenly pop back up in the news, it’s not usually a good sign, but Marshawn Lynch is a clear exception to this. The former All-Pro running back who led the Seattle Seahawks to a pair of Super Bowls made news this week for his charitable side, as Beast Mode handed out 200 free turkeys to families in Hawaii (where he lives).

Big charitable efforts from celebrities are usually PR stunts, tied into a vague sounding foundation without a clear impact on helping people (this isn’t to dog all charities, some obviously do major good). Then there’s the other side of it, where people give directly to those in need. Like Josh Gad giving money to laid-off Disney workers, or Tyler Perry buying groceries for senior citizens.

Beast Mode falls into that category, as he not only helped buy turkeys for 200 fams, he donned the PPE and handed them out himself.

.@MoneyLynch helped hand out 200 free turkeys to people in Hawaii for Thanksgiving 👏

(via @RobDeMelloKHON) pic.twitter.com/084m5Bz2sb

— SportsCenter (@SportsCenter) November 24, 2020

Officially, he partnered with Young’s Fish Market and his foundation, Fam1stFamily, to pull off the Thanksgiving giveaway. Former star football player at Hawaii, Chad Owens, also helped pass out the turkeys, and said they were “blessed” to have Marshawn out there donating turkeys and that he was there ‘to help and support Marshawn in his wanting to give this Thanksgiving season.”

Lynch has always been a big force of giving back to the community, as he’s participated in numerous food drives, built a school in Haiti, bought a soul food restaurant so it wouldn’t have to close and much more. And he also does stuff like this, which will make a big difference for a few hundred families on Thanksgiving. In the spring, he drove around on a golf cart handing out face masks to people to help stay safe during the pandemic.

And here is NFL’er Marshawn Lynch riding around his hometown of Oakland, California handing out masks to anyone and everyone. Beast-mode.

Humanity.pic.twitter.com/qfIQIUUwj7

— Rex Chapman (@RexChapman) April 23, 2020

Lynch was a terror on the field (hence the Beast Mode nickname), and though he was never a big interview off the field, his actions speak much louder to his character than any words could’ve.

Buckle up folks, Florida Man is back. This isn’t your typical Florida Man story though – this time, FloridaMan is the superhero we desperately needed. While out walking near his backyard pond as he’s done countless times in the past, 74-year-old Richard Wilbanks had an encounter he won’t soon forget. Wilbanks took his 3-month-old puppy out for a walk, and unfortunately, a hungry alligator was quietly lurking under the pond’s surface.

Typically, when we see videos of alligators, it’s their powerful jaws and mammoth size that makes our blood run cold. Our only saving grace (or so we thought) is that their legs, though clawed and terrifying, are disproportionately small. They don’t seem like they’d be the most coordinated of creatures, let alone the fastest. But as Wilbanks, unfortunately, found out, a nearby snack is enough motivation for these short-legged predators to kick it up a notch.

“We were just out walking by the pond,” Wilbanks told CNN, “and it came out of the water like a missile. I never thought an alligator could be that fast. It was so quick.”

Before Wilbanks’s brain could catch up with his adrenaline-fueled body, the Florida retiree was in the pond with beloved puppy, his hands wrapped around the jaws of the alligator. He managed to keep the young alligator still as he poured all of his effort into prying open its powerful jaws.

After a Herculean struggle that was caught on nearby security cameras, our hero freed his helpless pup from the nearly 4-foot-long alligator’s grip. As if the remarkable save wasn’t impressive enough, this absolutely beast of a man held his cigar in his mouth throughout the entire encounter (which is honestly the most Florida Man thing we can imagine).

Wilbanks’s hands were cut badly from the alligator’s teeth, but after a trip to the doctor and a tetanus shot, he’s healing well. As for his puppy Gunner, incredibly, the dog was less injured than he was. With a single puncture wound on his abdomen, a trip to the vet was all he needed before returning home for some much-needed rest.

As for the alligator, well, he didn’t get his meal. But because of a partnership between the Florida Wildlife Federation and fSTOP, an organization geared towards conservation education through photography, residents of the area value living alongside native wildlife.

Wilbanks told CNN, “They’re part of nature and part of our lives.”

He explained that he didn’t want the alligator removed or hurt in any way, but he will be taking precautions by walking farther from the pond in the future.

“Our pets, they’re just like family to us,” Wilbanks said.

You hear that, alligators? Dogs are friends, not food.

Becoming a parent can make even the most rational people develop a laundry list of irrational fears. This helpless human is entirely your responsibility, making even the most mundane decisions inexplicably stressful. Sometimes this new-parent paranoia (parent-noia?) happens in both parents, but when one parent manages to keep their cool, occasionally, hilarity ensues.

Kenny Deuss from Antwerp, Belgium is the father of nearly 2-year-old Alix. When Alix was younger, Kenny’s girlfriend had just a touch of parent-noia – as a new dad, Kenny took on the all-important dad responsibility of providing levity (at somewhat inopportune times).

Any time Kenny and Alix were hanging out alone, Kenny’s girlfriend would frequently check-in. “Is the baby ok?” became a question Kenny heard all too many times, so he decided to provide some unorthodox answers. Rather than a simple “yeah” or “everything’s fine,” Kenny sent his girlfriend photoshopped images demonstrating quite the opposite.

This talented dad sent his girlfriend pictures of Alix photoshopped into all sorts of questionable situations, I assume, to prove that he had things so under control that he had time to do some top-tier editing.

Soon, any time Kenny’s girlfriend asked, “Is the baby ok?” she was met with this,

 

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Or this

 

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Or even this.

 

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A post shared by On Adventure With Dad (@onadventurewithdad)

Kenny began posting his photos on Instagram, and unsurprisingly, he’s accumulated nearly 50,000 followers after posting just 46 hilarious photos. Kenny’s pictures are brilliant, of course, but they also speak to the part of our brains that takes us on a tour of “The Worst Things That Could Possibly Happen” any time we get a bit nervous.

 

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Seeing the absurdity of some of our fears laid out reminds us to stay grounded in reality. And, of course, it reminds us that it’s ok to take a break every once in a while – after all, we aren’t parenting alone. Yes, you too single parents. It really does take a village to raise a kid, and nobody expects you to do everything. Even when someone else is watching them, as Kenny kindly demonstrates (sort of), the baby will be just fine.

Say what you want about Dave Chappelle, he’s never been afraid of standing up for himself, or for what he believes in.

The comedian’s courage and fearlessness in speaking truth to power has been on display in his standup and television series for decades. The most famous example of his willingness to put his money where his mouth coming when he skipped out on Chappelle’s Show when things got to be too much for him.

It seems he’s not done dealing with the ramifications of that decision, nor is he done speaking out about it.

Recently, the comedian’s pioneering sketch show, Chappelle’s Show started streaming on Netflix. We rejoiced because more access to that subversive and hilarious series is a good thing. But not to Dave. Not when the show that bears his name is no longer his.

Chappelle posted an 18-minute video to his Instagram, featuring him performing stand-up and speaking specifically about the fact that Viacom, who owns his show, sold the rights to Netflix and he didn’t see a penny. He doesn’t blame Netflix, with whom he’s established a good relationship over the past few years. But he did ask them to remove the series from its platform.

“They (ViacomCBS) didn’t have to pay me because I signed the contract,” Chappelle said in the video. “But is that right? I found out that these people were streaming my work and they never had to ask me or they never have to tell me. Perfectly legal ‘cause I signed the contract. But is that right? I didn’t think so either. That’s why I like working for Netflix. I like working for Netflix because when all those bad things happened to me, that company didn’t even exist. And when I found out they were streaming ‘Chappelle’s Show,’ I was furious. How could they not– how could they not know? So you know what I did? I called them and I told them that this makes me feel bad. And you want to know what they did? They agreed that they would take it off their platform just so I could feel better.”

Not wanting to jeopardize their relationship, and perhaps simply respecting Dave’s wishes, Netflix has obliged and removed The Chappelle Show from its service. Our loss, for sure, but the right thing to do. He may not get paid for it anymore, but there’s no denying that Chappelle’s Show is Dave Chappelle’s show. Good on Netflix.

I hope you still have your DVDs.

Watch the full clip below:

 

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