Unless you’re one of those always-perfect, do-gooder parents you’ve more than likely let some colorful language slip in front of the kids at some point.
Maybe you stepped on a Lego and dropped a guttural “Son of a…,” or lost your cool with a healthy “Eat sh*t!” when you got cut off carpooling to T-ball…
Whatever the occasion, most of us have done it at least once (1,249 times and counting for yours truly), and are no stranger to the subsequent wave of Shitty Parent Remorse that accompanies those deer-in-the-headlights kid stares.
Thankfully for us, Tim Allen is here to alleviate a bit of our collective guilt, albeit through schadenfreude (joy that stems from someone else’s misfortune), with a top-drawer, first-class cussing-in-front-of-kids story: he not only dropped the F-bomb in front of a group of child actors… he did it dressed as Santa.
Allen, who admittedly has the mouth of a sailor and jokes that he’s “not really a big fan of children,” recently told the tale on “The Kelly Clarkson Show,” where he stopped by to discuss how he’s weaving his former “Home Improvement” character Tim “The Toolman” Taylor into his current show, “Last Man Standing.”
As the comedian tells it, back in 2002, at the tail-end of a very long, sweaty day on the set of “The Santa Clause 2,” he finally reached his breaking point after 15 straight takes were interrupted by kids bickering.
“I let out the loudest F-bomb,” he admitted to Clarkson. “I turned around and there are 12 children (who) looked like you’d ripped their legs off.”
Perhaps the best part of the story, though, was how the adults on set scrambled to walk back the gaffe, with quick-thinking Disney employees arguing Allen really screamed “fuch” (pronounced “fyook”), claiming it’s “a Swedish word. It sounds like that, but it means ‘holiday trim.'”
Still, he laughed, “Kids didn’t buy it. Nobody bought it.”
Hey. We’ve all fuckin’ been there too, Tim.
Watch the full clip below.